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Past Players of No Halfway Crooks
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | John Cougar Skull Cruncha | Troll Slayer | 2 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy | m, n |
| 4 | No-pants Forty Sippa | Blitzer | 2 | 3 | Block, Thick Skull | m, n |
| 2 | John Cougar Skull Cruncha | Troll Slayer | 2 | 7 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Mighty Blow | m, n |
| 1 | Threepac Melon Balls | Troll Slayer | 3 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy | m, n |
| 12 | John Cougar Robba | Longbeard | 18 | 6 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | d |
| 3 | Swingin Dong Cock-whacka | Blitzer | 18 | 17 | Block, Thick Skull, Guard, Tackle | n |
| 1 | Threepac Melon Balls | Troll Slayer | 11 | 19 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Tackle | m, n |
| 2 | John Cougar Skull Cruncha | Troll Slayer | 13 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy | -ag, d |
| 7 | Mista Buddha Balls | Longbeard | 15 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | -ag, d |
| 2 | John Cougar Skull Cruncha | Troll Slayer | 14 | 20 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Guard | m, n |
| 2 | John Cougar Skull Cruncha | Troll Slayer | 3 | 3 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy | d |
| 1 | Threepac Melon Balls | Troll Slayer | 23 | 50 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle | n, d |
| 4 | No-pants Forty Sippa | Blitzer | 38 | 54 | Block, Thick Skull, +MA, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm | -ma, -ma, d |
| 16 | John Cougar Robba | Longbeard | 36 | 37 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, +ST, Guard, Mighty Blow | n |
| 15 | Da Train Jumpa | Longbeard | 50 | 55 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, +ST, +ST | n, d |
| 14 | Threepac Daddy | Longbeard | 53 | 39 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Pro | d |
| 12 | Mercedes-Rollin Rat Snatcher | Longbeard | 23 | 18 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Stand Firm, Guard | d |
| 11 | Heavy Crack Robba | Longbeard | 26 | 12 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | m, n |
| 10 | Secret Prison Fish | Longbeard | 24 | 14 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | d |
| 7 | Mista Buddha Balls | Longbeard | 23 | 34 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Kick | n |
| 5 | Heavy Nutz da Retardo | Runner | 53 | 49 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, +MA, Dirty Player | -ag, -ma, d |
| 3 | Swingin Dong Cock-whacka | Blitzer | 29 | 35 | Block, Thick Skull, Dodge, Stand Firm, Guard | d |