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Past Players of Average Suburbanite Slobs
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | ...with a regular job | Troll Slayer | 6 | 6 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Side Step | m, n |
| 1 | I'm Just A Regular Joe... | Troll Slayer | 13 | 8 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Guard | m, n |
| 11 | Suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's | Longbeard | 22 | 17 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow | n |
| 8 | I use public toilets and p*** on the seat | Longbeard | 35 | 48 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Pro | d |
| 4 | I like football and p***o | Blitzer | 21 | 31 | Block, Thick Skull, Guard, Mighty Blow, Kick | m, n |
| 12 | There ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it | Longbeard | 33 | 18 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Diving Tackle, +ST | -ag, d |
| 2 | ...with a regular job | Troll Slayer | 32 | 42 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Guard, Mighty Blow, Pro | d |
| 11 | Suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styr | Longbeard | 9 | 2 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | d |
| 10 | Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces | Longbeard | 45 | 52 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Kick, +MA | n |
| 8 | I use public toilets and p*** on the seat | Longbeard | 7 | 16 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Diving Tackle | m, n |
| 7 | I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane | Longbeard | 44 | 37 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Diving Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow | n |
| 6 | My feet on my table and a cuban cigar | Runner | 29 | 51 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Accurate, Pass, Dirty Player | -st |
| 5 | My wife and my job, my kids and my car | Runner | 12 | 19 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Dirty Player | d |
| 4 | I like football and p***o | Blitzer | 8 | 23 | Block, Thick Skull, Guard, Mighty Blow | d |
| 3 | Average white suburbanite slob | Blitzer | 24 | 35 | Block, Thick Skull, Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow | -av, -ag |
| 2 | ...with a regular job | Troll Slayer | 3 | 7 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Pass Block | m, n |
| 1 | A Regular Joe... | Troll Slayer | 22 | 39 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Side Step, Guard, Mighty Blow | d |