| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
1 | blt salad | Goblin | 7 | 11 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Dirty Player | m, d |
2 | jackie | Goblin | 11 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, m, m, d |
9 | atleastgoblinsarecheap | Goblin | 6 | 10 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | m, -st, m, -ma, m, n |
1 | anothergoblinsoontobedead | Goblin | 17 | 8 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Diving Tackle | m, m, -ma, m, n |
2 | yepanothergoblindied | Goblin | 6 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, n |
1 | yepigottabuyanothergoblin | Goblin | 6 | 13 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, +AG | m, n |
1 | ihopethisisthelastgoblinihavetobuy | Goblin | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
1 | darnogresaretooexpensive | Goblin | 7 | 9 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | m, n |
8 | a stray cat | Ogre | 37 | 44 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, +MA, +MA, Guard | d |
8 | karen | Goblin | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, m, n |
13 | hahaigettobuyanotherogre | Ogre | 31 | 45 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Guard, Break Tackle, Multiple Block | d |
5 | terry | Goblin | 45 | 41 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sure Feet, Side Step, Sprint | m, -ag, m, -av, m, -ma, m, n |
9 | polly | Goblin | 29 | 12 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | m, -av, d |
8 | woohooanothergoblin | Goblin | 7 | 8 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sure Feet | m, n |
3 | anothergoblin | Goblin | 9 | 8 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sure Feet | m, n |
8 | whydontthesestupidgoblinslivelonger? | Goblin | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
3 | herewegoanothergoblin | Goblin | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, d |
6 | finallyicanbuyanotherstupidogre | Ogre | 67 | 94 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Multiple Block, +ST, Guard, +MA, Block | d |
13 | angus my girlfiends dog | Goblin | 15 | 16 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | d |
10 | ihavelessmoneythaniwantsoihavetobuyanotherstupidgoblin | Goblin | 19 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, n |
9 | Big Mama | Goblin | 14 | 12 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint | m, m, n |
2 | fishing rod | Goblin | 41 | 27 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint, Side Step | m, m, -av, d |
3 | big wheel | Goblin | 10 | 6 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint | m, n, m |
8 | mouse | Goblin | 9 | 12 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint | d |
13 | xmas tree | Goblin | 3 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
10 | hulahoop | Goblin | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
8 | a stray cat | Goblin | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
11 | my car | Ogre | 54 | 39 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Guard, Multiple Block, +AG | m, n, d |
12 | oil spill | Ogre | 71 | 61 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Guard, Break Tackle, Multiple Block, Juggernaut | m, d |
2 | turpintine | Goblin | 11 | 14 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sure Hands | d |
1 | rubbish can | Ogre | 41 | 35 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Multiple Block, Guard, +AG | -av, m, d |
10 | lawn mower | Goblin | 9 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | -ma, -av, d |
11 | old magazines | Goblin | 8 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
10 | ladder | Goblin | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
9 | fishing rod | Goblin | 15 | 8 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sure Feet | d |
8 | tiki torch | Goblin | 10 | 12 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint | d |
3 | bug spray | Goblin | 13 | 16 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint, +AG | n, m, n |
2 | bug spray | Goblin | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
6 | hula hoop | Ogre | 23 | 56 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, +MA, Block, Multiple Block, Guard | n, m, n |
5 | sprinkler | Ogre | 35 | 55 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Guard, Multiple Block, Juggernaut, +ST | n, d |
1 | trash can | Ogre | 2 | 7 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate | d |