| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
5 | Nudge Nudge | Blitzer | 3 | 2 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs | -ma |
5 | Nudge Nudge | Blitzer | 8 | 1 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs | -av |
3 | The Spanish Inquisition | Blitzer | 12 | 22 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle, Dodge | m, d |
2 | Dead Parrot | Blitzer | 15 | 19 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle, Dodge | d |
8 | The Butcher Who is Alternately Rude and Polite | Lineman | 17 | 13 | Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle | d |
9 | Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit | Lineman | 16 | 21 | Leap, Very Long Legs, +AG, Strip Ball | n |
10 | Ron Obvious: The First Man to Jump the Channel | Lineman | 22 | 11 | Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle | -ma |
12 | Hell's Grannies | Lineman | 17 | 26 | Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle, Fend | d |
13 | Gorilla Librarian | Lineman | 3 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | -av |
15 | Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson | Lineman | 10 | 6 | Leap, Very Long Legs, +AV | -ma |
16 | Albatross | Lineman | 12 | 13 | Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle | n |