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Past Players of Homicidal Barbers
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | The Ministry of Silly Walks | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 11 | The Ministry of Silly Walks | Lineman | 3 | 6 | Block | -av |
| 12 | The Olympic Hide and Seek Final | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 1 | Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit | Blitzer | 4 | 9 | Block, Dodge | d |
| 2 | Mr. Hilter and the Minehead by-election | Blitzer | 19 | 37 | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle | m, d |
| 11 | The Ministry of Silly Walks | Lineman | 12 | 14 | Guard | d |
| 10 | The Funniest Joke in the World | Lineman | 8 | 0 | -ma, d | |
| 5 | Flying Sheep | Catcher | 16 | 31 | Catch, Block, Dodge, Side Step | d |
| 4 | Crunchy Frog | Catcher | 25 | 37 | Catch, Block, Dodge, Side Step | -av |
| 1 | Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit | Blitzer | 3 | 0 | Block | n |