| | Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
| 16 | Tattoo Lady | Witch Elf | 1 | 0 | Frenzy, Dodge, Jump Up | -av |
| 4 | He Who Returns Not A Borrowed Umbrella | Blitzer | 3 | 8 | Block, Catch | n |
| 7 | The Great Flatulator | Lineman | 5 | 2 | | d |
| 6 | Projector Of Spit While In Public | Lineman | 7 | 0 | | -av |
| 7 | The Great Flatulator | Lineman | 4 | 0 | | d |
| 1 | Early Morning Washer Of Dishes In A Loud Manner | Blitzer | 3 | 0 | Block | n |
| 8 | Picker Of Teeth At The Dinner Table | Lineman | 11 | 16 | Guard, Dodge | |
| 8 | Picker Of Teeth At The Dinner Table | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | |
| 7 | He Who Breaks Wind Shamelessly | Lineman | 5 | 0 | | d |
| 8 | Thower Of Balled-Up Socks In The Corner | Lineman | 4 | 5 | | d |
| 17 | David Quickstone | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 6 | He Who Spits In Public | Lineman | 7 | 5 | | m, d |
| 8 | Thower Of Balled-Up Socks In The Corner | Lineman | 5 | 0 | | |
| 1 | He Who Strangles Kittens | Blitzer | 11 | 31 | Block, +MA, Dodge | d |
| 8 | She Who Returns Empty Ice-Trays To The Freezer | Lineman | 2 | 0 | | d |
| 3 | Breaker Of Expensive Dishware | Blitzer | 14 | 27 | Block, Mighty Blow, Dodge | m, d |
| 3 | Breaker Of Expensive Dishware | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block | -st |
| 16 | Vixen Of Painted Eyebrows | Witch Elf | 31 | 79 | Frenzy, Dodge, Jump Up, Block, +AG, Leap, Strip Ball, Tackle | n, d |
| 11 | Demander That The Bus Windows Be Shut, Despite The Obvious Fact That Everyone Is In Sweltering Agony | Lineman | 35 | 36 | Block, Guard, Dodge | |
| 10 | The Who Calls Before 8:00am | Lineman | 35 | 36 | Dodge, Guard, Block | |
| 9 | Gutter Of Small Children | Lineman | 6 | 2 | | d |
| 8 | She Who Returns Empty Ice-Trays To The Freezer | Lineman | 8 | 6 | Wrestle | -av |
| 7 | Maker Of Great Flatulence | Lineman | 17 | 22 | Wrestle, +AG | m |
| 6 | He Who Fails To Flush | Lineman | 16 | 28 | Block, Dodge | -st |
| 4 | He Who Returns Not A Borrowed Umbrella | Blitzer | 30 | 58 | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Sure Feet | |
| 3 | The One Who Breaks Expensive Dishware | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block | -ma |
| 2 | Slayer of Bunnies | Blitzer | 30 | 59 | Block, Dodge, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Side Step | m, m, m, m, d |
| 1 | He Who Strangles Kittens | Blitzer | 11 | 32 | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle | -ma |
Exempt teams