| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
16 | Matt '50's Kid' Burke | Lineman | 7 | 0 | | m |
16 | Matt '50's Kid' Burke | Lineman | 6 | 11 | Wrestle | n |
10 | Bob 'Alien Head'Watson | Lineman | 7 | 4 | | d |
13 | Marvin 'Scrotum-face'Schroeter | Lineman | 18 | 7 | Wrestle | d |
15 | Tom 'the Preacher' Skinner | Lineman | 3 | 0 | | -st |
6 | Mike 'the Grid-master' Mills | Thrower | 14 | 20 | Sure Hands, Pass, Accurate, Block | d |
5 | Nath 'the Crackhead' Blythe | Catcher | 19 | 77 | Catch, Dodge, +MA, Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, Sprint | m, d |
5 | Nath 'the Crackhead' Blythe | Lineman | 0 | 0 | | |
16 | Matt '50's Kid' Burke | Lineman | 13 | 0 | | d |
11 | Dan 'the Chavlord' Abbott | Lineman | 24 | 39 | +ST, Block, Guard | m, d |
13 | Marvin 'Scrotum-Face' Schroeter | Lineman | 13 | 7 | Block | d |
12 | Norbert 'the Mek-out' Kaspryks | Lineman | 18 | 5 | | m, m, m, d |
13 | Marvin 'Scrotum-face' Schroeter | Lineman | 7 | 8 | Kick | -av |
14 | Aaron 'the mumbler' Gray | Lineman | 38 | 20 | Guard, Block | d |
15 | Tom 'the Preacher' Skinner | Lineman | 18 | 13 | Block | m, -av |
16 | Matt '50's Kid' Burke | Lineman | 10 | 10 | Kick | m, d |
7 | Nath 'the Crackhead' Blythe | Catcher | 13 | 30 | Catch, Dodge, Block, Side Step | d |
6 | Mike 'the Gridmaster' Mills | Thrower | 14 | 29 | Sure Hands, Pass, Block, +MA | d |
5 | Adam 'Landfill' Gibson | Ogre | 7 | 9 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone-head, Loner, Throw Team-Mate, Block | |
4 | Dan ' the Chavlord' Abbott | Blitzer | 7 | 10 | Block, +ST | -av |
2 | 'The Sacrificer' | Blitzer | 36 | 68 | Block, Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle | m, m, -ag |