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Past Players of Lords-of-Suck-and-Destruction
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | TOm Cruise "The Danger Zone" | Blitzer | 3 | 0 | Block | d |
| 10 | Michael Jackson | Lineman | 7 | 2 | d | |
| 5 | Tom Cruise "The Danger Zone" | Thrower | 3 | 3 | Sure Hands, Pass | -ma |
| 5 | Tom Cruise "The Danger Zone" | Thrower | 1 | 0 | Sure Hands, Pass | n |
| 3 | Woody Harrelson | Blitzer | 12 | 8 | Block, Guard | -av |
| 3 | Woody Harrelson | Blitzer | 9 | 12 | Block, Mighty Blow | d |
| 11 | Justine Bieber | Lineman | 12 | 5 | -ma, d | |
| 10 | Michael Jackson | Lineman | 17 | 12 | Block | m, m, m, -av |
| 8 | Bob Barker | Lineman | 9 | 0 | n, n | |
| 7 | Charles Manson "Chuckles" | Lineman | 12 | 0 | m, n, d | |
| 5 | Tom Cruise "The Danger Zone" | Thrower | 17 | 18 | Sure Hands, Pass, Block, Accurate | -av, n |
| 4 | Eddie Murphy | Blitzer | 6 | 7 | Block, Mighty Blow | -st |
| 3 | Woody Harrelson | Blitzer | 4 | 9 | Block, Multiple Block | |
| 2 | George W Bush | Blitzer | 6 | 2 | Block | m, -st |
| 1 | Charlie Sheen | Blitzer | 23 | 31 | Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Pass Block | n, m, d |