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Short Black Coffees
P [R] Chaos Dwarf

The "Short Black Coffees" are little high on life due to a few to many expressos at breakfast. Actually, it is probably safe to say that it is breakfast, lunch and dinner with a few in between for good measure. The quantity they consume is bewildering and almost unquantifiable. Safe to say, if FUMBBL was ever to initiate random drug testing then the "Short Black Coffees" would be done for Caffeine doping, to the last Dwarf, Hobgoblin and Bull Centaur.

Over a few Irish Coffees after their first ever match the players made a pact, which boils down to a few simple rules:

  1. No Minotaur will ever be hired... they have all lost control at any cafe the team has taken them to and danced around like a bull in a china shop. Totally unacceptable and hence they are banned
  2. Because of the copious amounts of caffeine pulsing through their veins, every member of the Short Black Coffees is nervous of sharp objects and tends to develop twitches if they trip and literally dive to the floor. Hence no CLAW and no PILING ON skill choices are allowed
  3. Since an Apothecaries tend to have sharp implements in their medical bags, the Short Black Coffees are rather nervous of them and won't consider hiring one (due to the sharp stuff. This maybe reconsidered if they ever get a Star. NB, this is still under consideration since they only have 2 Stars and they are not that special
  4. Babes serve Beer which tends to mix with the caffeine and leads to unfortunate consequences... Hence Babes are only to be hired if there is no other option available... Bring on the full pack of inducements to make it impossible for the Short Black Coffees to hire one
  5. You only get to leave the team once you are DEAD

Finally, the dwarves in the Short Black Coffees have an even greater predilection for gold than pretty much any other dwarf going around. "Yes this may seem strange, but it is true", hence the coach has found it almost impossible to get to hold of the winnings. On the few occasions the coach has successfully received funds, it required a written request in triplicate, with a strategic positioning paper justifying the need for funds to be released and signed and countersigned by each playing member of the team. Safe to say the chances of the roster ever growing beyond 11 is extremely slim! OK... 12 or maybe 13 is one of the hobs snuck a friend in ;-)
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
  1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
 
2
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
Guard, Side Step
  24 0 0 0 3 4 26/31 120k
(70+50)k
 
3
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 8
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
Guard, Mighty Blow
-av 20 0 2 0 6 1 23/31 110k
(70+40)k
 
4
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
Guard, Mighty Blow
  16 0 0 0 6 1 17/31 110k
(70+40)k
 
5
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
 
6
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 1 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
-ag 9 0 0 0 1 0 2/6 70k
(70+0)k
 
7
Hobgoblin
6 3 4 7
Block, Sure Hands, Tackle, +AG, Fend
  59 7 31 0 9 1 123/176 160k
(40+120)k
 
8
Hobgoblin
6 3 3 7
Block, Kick, Wrestle
  34 0 3 0 1 4 31/51 100k
(40+60)k
 
10
Hobgoblin
6 2 3 7
Wrestle, Strip Ball, Tackle, Fend, Dauntless
-st 56 2 12 1 4 8 88/176 140k
(40+100)k
 
11
Bull Centaur Blitzer
6 4 4 9
Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull
+AG, Block, +AG
  14 1 8 0 4 1 38/51 230k
(130+100)k
 
12
Hobgoblin
6 3 3 7   4 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
 
16
Bull Centaur Blitzer
6 4 2 9
Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull
Block, Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Stand Firm, Tackle
  39 0 14 0 27 3 111/176 230k
(130+100)k
 
12 players  
Coach: polemarch Re-Rolls (140k): 4  
Race: Chaos Dwarf Fan Factor: 12  
Current Team Value: 1850k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 1580k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1850k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:60 (35/16/9) |TD Diff:44 (93 - 49) |Cas Diff:59 (96/53/18 - 58/28/22)
Last Opponent: Surely This Team

  For   Against  
Opponent Race TV SPP Cas Gold Score TV SPP Cas Gold Gate
Trial by FailureNecromantic Horror990k121/1/050k1 - 1980k121/0/170k15k
Pipes BreakersVampire1000k122/0/030k1 - 1980k111/0/020k13k
l alliance du malChaos Renegade1030k152/0/070k2 - 01000k91/1/040k23k
WolfesteinersNorse990k161/1/180k1 - 01000k00/0/00k22k
Hägar and the HorriblesNorse1110k162/2/060k1 - 01120k50/0/050k22k
Rezer AuctionShambling Undead1180k232/2/160k2 - 01130k60/0/010k23k
Notturni LunaticiNecromantic Horror1210k50/0/020k0 - 11260k80/0/070k27k
green bays bukaneerOrc1220k100/0/160k1 - 01200k92/0/020k27k
ChainChaosChaos Chosen1250k131/0/060k2 - 01360k50/0/040k26k
Reaver Barons RebornDark Elf1300k130/0/180k1 - 01310k70/0/150k20k
RrogntudjuChaos Renegade1380k212/0/150k3 - 01380k50/0/040k24k
Blessings of NurgleNurgle1450k100/2/160k1 - 11540k80/0/040k34k
Helena HighSkaven1450k221/2/070k3 - 11460k80/0/040k32k
Pacheco'sSkaven1370k182/1/070k2 - 21410k171/1/040k28k
Korne's KillaZChaos Chosen1490k182/1/030k2 - 11530k120/1/150k31k
Vanilla LegionHuman1520k142/1/050k1 - 01670k174/2/060k32k
TrizalLizardmen1480k131/0/130k1 - 21640k161/1/040k28k
Choas Small starsChaos Chosen1530k181/0/130k3 - 01630k90/0/130k28k
Fast Handed SkelliesTomb Kings1650k201/2/050k3 - 31500k181/2/070k34k
Nutty Norse NorksNorse1560k153/2/050k0 - 21450k191/3/130k34k
Board Game GeeksChaos Chosen1410k90/0/020k1 - 11450k121/0/180k27k
Nightmare Abbey XIDark Elf1620k173/0/080k2 - 11410k110/0/060k28k
Really UndertakerShambling Undead1670k71/0/060k0 - 11760k161/0/360k26k
Giving in to the Dark SideDark Elf1450k174/0/080k2 - 01470k70/0/060k33k
Rico's Ranked RoughnecksHuman1620k131/2/110k0 - 31490k192/0/060k28k
Ornbarad Sylvan SeekersWood Elf1610k50/0/060k0 - 21730k201/0/060k39k
Wasteland-WarriorsOrc1610k80/0/050k1 - 01740k91/1/060k33k
Knighting GalesHuman1550k253/4/050k2 - 01650k50/0/020k30k
KazajozOrc1690k80/0/030k1 - 11780k172/0/170k35k
Born To Live ForeverWood Elf1620k141/2/170k1 - 11580k80/0/080k32k
No More ConcessionShambling Undead1650k235/0/160k2 - 11660k163/1/020k29k
Angry NewscastersTomb Kings1650k100/1/030k1 - 11700k184/2/020k28k
[R] Valhalla RisingNorse1360k273/1/130k3 - 01350k50/0/020k26k
Dead JestersShambling Undead1770k163/1/040k1 - 11750k131/2/030k28k
Oktoberhall BrewersDwarf1650k294/3/070k3 - 01640k101/0/160k29k
Mighty BlowfliesHalfling1710k327/2/050k3 - 11430k80/0/060k29k
DrazukiansChaos Chosen1830k80/0/150k0 - 21840k214/0/180k33k
CagerageOrc1710k170/1/060k3 - 01510k50/0/040k31k
Sawdust Saints Chaos Renegade1710k70/1/060k0 - 21790k193/1/020k34k
Doomy DiggersChaos Dwarf1650k130/1/070k2 - 21810k172/1/020k34k
Cobra LalalalalalaLizardmen1680k275/1/160k4 - 01750k70/0/130k21k
Khorne's RunnersChaos Chosen1640k80/0/040k1 - 11620k130/1/160k24k
SoBoringHuman1560k111/0/030k2 - 11600k140/0/240k22k
Great Aussie Pub CrawlDwarf1670k70/1/030k0 - 01650k80/1/060k25k
La Compañia del TerrorUnderworld Denizens1550k151/1/070k2 - 01640k164/0/130k35k
Skunks CheesySkaven1660k192/2/070k2 - 11650k111/0/020k25k
Mighty BlowfliesHalfling1690k213/0/270k2 - 01300k50/0/020k28k
Recruiters UtdNecromantic Horror1730k141/1/170k1 - 11710k80/0/050k33k
Snow Dwarf and Seven WhitesDwarf1780k254/1/080k3 - 01780k70/0/160k32k
La Compañia del TerrorUnderworld Denizens1800k193/1/070k2 - 01870k91/2/030k25k
Lizards of BremenLizardmen1690k215/0/070k2 - 11670k132/0/020k33k
Scrummaging SquatsDwarf1830k100/1/090k1 - 11850k90/0/060k30k
Ancient HatredShambling Undead1700k141/1/120k1 - 01870k142/1/020k28k
EmostaticoShambling Undead1730k140/1/070k2 - 11830k101/0/050k33k
Pull-Apart PiratesNurgle1890k121/1/060k1 - 01840k112/1/030k35k
Ol' Dirty Froga$$Slann1860k174/2/060k1 - 31850k170/0/050k35k
Henbury HarbringersLizardmen1930k182/1/060k2 - 11550k162/0/240k32k
Mighty Blow Expe[R]imentDwarf1860k122/0/070k1 - 01860k141/2/140k32k
Surely This TeamOrc1670k130/1/030k2 - 11620k131/0/150k36k