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''Snot Easy Being Green''
Retired [S] Snotling

50 Things to do With a Dead Snotling

Well, I'm sure that we have all, at one time or another, wondered what to do with all those dead snotlings that keep building up in the shed. Never fear. With incredible aptitude, I will detail 50 ways to usefully employ a dead snotling for fun or profit.

1 Tie it around your head. Use it as a blindfold.
2 Stitch its ears to its feet. Use it as football.
3 Dunk it molten pewter. Use in any appropriate table-top game.
4 Punch occasionally. Relieve stress.
5 Collect lots of snotlings. Stick a long metal rod through them all.
Use as an abacus. Alternatively, fry- snotling onna stick.
6 Wait till rigor mortis really sets in. Use as cricket bat.
7 Put two bits of glass in its hands. Wrap around head.
Use as glasses.
8 Animate through Necromancy. Produce a foot-high skeleton.
9 Stick one in each ear. Use as earplugs.
10 Stick its arms and legs out. Face down. Use as footrest.
11 Shine its head. Use as mirror.
12 Chop off the little toe from its left foot.
Mix with cobwebs from the darkest depths of Loren,
the ( left ) eye of a silver splayed-toed newt,
the burnt incense from the temple of the Righteous Monks at the highest point of the Grey Mountains, the heart of a victim of Nurgle's Rot and a piece of warpstone that is exactly 1001 years old. Create a green sticky mess (good for the garden).
13 Gift-wrap. Give to friends.
14 Punch holes through it. Use as a sieve.
15 Tie its arms to clock arms. Create a snotling clock.
16 Hang from trees by their ears. Paint in bright colours. An instant Christmas decoration.
17 Write 'yes' on one side and 'no' on the other. Use as die for those tricky Jervis situations.
18 Plant. Nurture. Hope for good snotling crops next season.
19 Stuff full of straw. Use as a scarecrow.
20 Stick wire in its hands. Use as lightning rod. Insult Gods with impunity.
21 Dress in silver foil. Ring a newspaper and tell them you have seen 'little green men'. Instant U.F.O. hoax.
22 Stick its finger out. Poke people in the eye with it.
23 Take an atom from the snotling. Split with any handy thermo-nuclear reaction. Create a big bang.
24 Glue on a wig. Hold its feet. Use as mop.
25 Strap one to each foot. Use as skis during winter and thongs during summer.
26 Paint with jolly reds and blues. Give it a floppy little cap. Sit it on a mushroom. Create a Cheerful Lawn Ornament.
27 Give it a little crown and sit it in a throne. Worship.
28 Make a Snotling pyramid. Skittles.
29 Use as backscratcher.
30 Collect a set. Pose dramatically. Create a nativity scene. Note: you will need a little 'un for Baby Jesus or alternatively a big 'un with its legs chopped off.
31 Dress up in bear costume. Pose threateningly. Position in corner Tell tales of how you 'killed that danged bear'.
32 Collect 52. Write numbers on their backs. Use as cards. Never worry about people hiding cards up their sleeves again.
33 Stuff. Use as teddy.
34 Stick your hand up its behind. Use as hand puppet.
35 Use as Room Freshener. Note: helps if you consider the stench of rotting flesh an improvement on the original smell of the room.
36 Stick in the corner in a rocking chair. Dress it in a long skirt and a shawl. Tell your friends that your Great Aunt Bess has come to stay for a while. In front of your friends, walk over to the snotling and lift up the shawl. Look startled and exclaim "Oh , Great Aunt Bess has turned into a snotling." Faint. Good For A Laugh.
37 Hang on your wall. Keep other snotlings quiet.
38 Pioneer snotling sculpture.
39 Tie string to it. Use as a kite.
40 Paint purple. Glue on a beak. Claim you have found a specimen of the very rare purple beaked gniltons. Make people pay to look at it.
41 Puree. Use as sunscreen.
42 Open its mouth. Place nut in mouth. Hit top of head with hammer. Crack nut.
43 Create: the famous John Smythe's Dead Snotling Circus.
44 Keep as a pet. Advantages- it won't leave little surprises for you in the corner and you don't have to feed it. Disadvantages- You will lose your sense of smell after a few weeks or else wish you had.
45 Use as currency.
46 Paint white. Dress in sheets. Throw into your little sister's room at night with appropriate moaning and groaning.
47 Glue leaves and flowers on its arms. Decorate garden.
48 Juggle.
49 Sit on your shoulder. Glue on feathers. Sell to pirates who have lost their parrots.
50 Put a bowl in its hands. Dress in decrepit clothing. Prop up in a street in town with a sign around its neck. Example: Six kids, wif lefd me, losd my job. Collect earnings at the end of the day. Repeat several times around town (preferably in different streets) to increase income.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
2
Grime
Troll
4 5 1 9
Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate
Multiple Block
   6 0 0 0 5 0 10/ 120k
(100+20)k
  
3
Sludge
Troll
4 6 1 9
Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate
+ST
 m 6 0 0 0 1 1 7/ 150k
(0)k
  
4
Slime
Troll
4 6 1 9
Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate
+ST
   6 0 0 0 5 1 15/ 150k
(100+50)k
  
5
George
Snotling Goon
5 1 3 5
Diving Tackle, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Titchy
Dirty Player
   5 2 0 0 1 1 9/ 60k
(40+20)k
  
6
Geoff
Snotling Goon
5 1 3 5
Diving Tackle, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Titchy
   4 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
7
Gurtrude
Snotling Goon
5 1 3 4
Diving Tackle, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Titchy
 -st, -av 4 0 1 0 0 0 3/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
8
Graham
Snotling Goon
5 1 3 5
Diving Tackle, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Titchy
   5 0 0 0 2 0 4/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
9
Andrew
Snotling Mob
5 1 3 5
Dodge, Regeneration, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Thick Skull, Two Heads
   6 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 25k
(25+0)k
  
10
Adam
Snotling Mob
5 1 3 5
Dodge, Regeneration, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Thick Skull, Two Heads
 m 6 0 1 0 0 0 3/ 25k
(0)k
  
12
Amy
Snotling Mob
5 1 2 5
Dodge, Regeneration, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Thick Skull, Two Heads
 -ag 5 0 0 0 0 1 5/ 25k
(25+0)k
  
14
Anakin
Snotling Mob
5 1 3 5
Dodge, Regeneration, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Thick Skull, Two Heads
   6 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 25k
(25+0)k
  
15
Arthur
Snotling Mob
5 1 3 5
Dodge, Regeneration, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Thick Skull, Two Heads
 -st, m 6 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 25k
(0)k
  
16
Alex
Snotling Mob
5 1 3 5
Dodge, Regeneration, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Thick Skull, Two Heads
   6 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 25k
(25+0)k
  
10 players (+3 players missing next game)  
Coach: THEmaverick Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Snotling Fan Factor: 8  
Current Team Value: 810k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 10k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1010k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:6 (0/2/4) |TD Diff:-6 (2 - 8) |Cas Diff:-9 (10/6/3 - 12/13/3)
Last Opponent: Small-Chaos