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[X] Wood Elf
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After five straight loses with the ucking Poofters, Lungbasher stops into the local gentleghouls' club, Flaming Tulips. He is hoping to take his mind off of his troubles. After his third case of Bloodweiser is finished and all of his money wisely spent on lap dances, Lungbasher realizes that these ladies have better moves than the Poofters. The six-watt lightbulb goes on and he hires the lot of them to play blood bowl! Thus, the Flaming Tulips are formed! At least if the end up losing, these beauties are easier on the eyes! Lungbasher officially retired the Poofters on 5-15-04. They ucking sucked....both on and off the field! Lungs just couldn't take them any more! I LIVED AND LEARNED, BUT YOU SHOULD BE WARNED: Slowest player ever played against: Sajmon (His KO set-up will make your eyes cross and hair fall out!) Rudest prick of a player: Browwnrob_ni (This ucker actually admitted to checking his e-mail while playing! WTFIUWT?! He has 2 players with shadowing too! Talk about slow and frustrating! Sobs about bad luck when team is undefeated! WTFIUWT?!) Biggest Dick: Cris (Fouled with 2 dirty players all game long. Obviously, his coaching intelligence is not his strong point! He must be a lawyer!) A Close Second to Cris: Skummy (See game report vs Gutterskum below!) THE "RAZTA" RULE: IF YOU HAVE A DIRTY PLAYER ON YOUR TEAM, DO NOT ASK FOR A GAME WITH THE TULIPS! DO NOT LISTEN TO RAZTA! HE WILL "DOUBLE SPEAK." YES, HE SAYS ONE THING AND THEN DOES THE OTHER! FAVORITE OPPONENTS: The Winkers (Coached by Buckskin) Mist Guardians (Coached by Arktoris) Anonymous Alcoholics (Coached by Muskye) BLOOD BATH: The date is trying to be forgotten, but I'll never forget the team! Oompa Loompas -- Halflings! What was once tip toeing for the Tulips turned out to be PURE HELL! Up 2-0 with one turn to play, the Tulips line up to receive a Turn Of Pain from the Flings....TOP, HaHa! What could the Flings possibly do?! TWO DEATHS -- is what a bunch of pissed off little uckers can do! Emma Hore (WD) and Helen Bedd (Linewoman) both die during the Flings' TOP! UGH! FIRST CONCEDED MATCH: 5-28-04 vs Riot After three turns, the Tulips were down 2-0 and had already used their apoth on a SI. WD recieved a BH (I was very relieved) and that was the deciding factor: Mary moaned, "Let's get the hell out of here while we still can!" Tulips ran like wildfire creeping through the short grass! UGLIEST WIN: 5-31-04 vs Hopax Hunters Tulips couldn't do anything but squat and piss the entire game. Hunters go up 1-0 in first half on a "default" TD. Tulips struggle to score in the seconf half, but manage to score on T6 to even the score. Hunters fail to pick up ball and Carmen gets a blitz and ball pick up on T7. Carmen uses block skill to ward off a blitz. She then makes a mad dash to the EZ for a T8 TD and the win! AMAZINGLY UGLY! It will be known from this day forward as "The Memorial Day Miracle!" SWORN ENEMIES: Pet Shop crowned 6-1-04 After a game where the dice gods snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, the Tulips have crowned Pet Shop as their sworn enemies! The team's 46% luck rating says it all! I believe this is also a little higher than it really was! What was truly sad was that even after we gimped his OTS (-1 Armor), the game never turned our way! FUGLY! TRULY FUGLY! MOST FEARED PLAYER: Grey Horn from the Dark Wood Rampagers This Chaos Beastman "Mickey Finned" the Tulip's apothecary before the game and then went and bought himself a stiletto! Talk about a big prick! Luckily, he didn't draw blood all day! WHEW! GAME CRASHES FUMBBL: 6-2-04 vs Thousand Blood I knew something was up when I saw the stands packed with the members of the BBRC.... then the dice gods started ucking with us. I thought it was just me, but the BBRC and the dice gods have it out for the Wizard of Yendor too. Double skulls and ones everyewhere! Those uckers weren't even satisfied when Rosey Rump's blood was spilled on the pitch by Set --- not once but twice!! Three separate times the match was stopped so the BBRC could reprimand the coaches for "actions unbecoming." Actions unbecoming? All I said was that the BBRC should go UCK themselves! I think they were really upset the officials was when Wizard told the gods EXACTLY where they could put their dice! I can't believe it! The BBRC forced us to finish the game the next morning and then refused to pay us! THOSE BASTARDS! (Tulips awarded zero $ for the game!) HIGHEST SCORING GAME TO DATE: 6-5-04 vs North Woodland Track Team 12 TDs are scored but no winner is declared! A 6 to 6 draw! IT IS LIKE KISSING YOUR SISTER! YUCK! HMMMM? I actually enjoying watching my girls kiss their sister! ;) 6-8-04 WAS SUCH A F***ED UP DAY! A DAY TO YELL, "UCK!": 6-8-04 vs W. Arsenal Eight on 11 player advantage, but the Tulips get decimated and routed! A game where you think something severely is wrong with fumbbl! I believe the dice gods would have tried to make the game even, but they forgot to stop! It took us thirty minutes just to get the game up and running.............................and then bleeding! WA must have been dwarves in elf clothing because the Tulips injury boxes became loaded very quickly. The apoth fails to revive Lacy Panties (St 3 Catcher) and Misty Thighs (AG5 WD) gets her second niggle! Of course, the Tulips can't break armor with a sledgehammer all game long! We had 6 RRs but only used 2 per half! Missing dodge with dodge skill or missing a GFI after wasteing a RR just pisses me off! Venting is good for the soul: "UCK!" UCKING DAY WOULDN'T END! UCK! 6-8-04 vs Mist Guardians We just couldn't do shit! Apoth fails again on a niggle to Pussy Galore. I sent her packing and I am never buying a tree again! Players sleeping during the first half for that kind of $$ -- never again! For the first time ever, I believe I may have to retire this team. I believe these harlots have had their cherry popped, and their strength is now gone! 6-9-04: THE DAY AFTER THE AGONY Lungbasher decides that Rosey Rump's Flaming Tulips Gentleghoul's Club is about out of talent for his team. He decides to walk across the street and visit a new gentleghoul's club, Leggs. CA-Ching! Leggs BB team is formed! Lung's just needed to get his "blood flowing again!" FUMBBL UCKS US AGAIN! 6-10-04 vs Fun Boys Set_Arkos and I had a great game going. Fummbl acts up and forces us to re-load. No problems....RIGHT? Wrong! I had my two best players (WD and Catcher) in the KO box. The first two times I set it up and they return, but fummbbl still actting "buggy." Third attempt works, but they remain in KO box! This ucked the entire game! MINUS THE ONE LOSS FROM RECORD; GAVE HIM THE GAME BECAUSE WHY PENALIZE HIM! UCK FUMBBL! GET YOUR SYSTEM WORKING! THREE STRAIGHT BLITZES AGAINST US!: 6-10-04 vs Gutterskum Skummy tried to erase Cris as the biggest dick, but could only muster a close second. He "mickey finns" my apoth, gets three straight blitzes to make the game a route and fouls my only WD when he lies stunned twice. I am learning that some people care about their ranking way too much. NOTE TO SELF: AVOID THESE PEOPLE! MIRACLE WIN!: 6-12-04 vs Bloody Orcs After going 0-1-4 in the last five matches, Lungbasher knows that the Tulips' luck is at an all-time low. He Decides to accept the offer anyway. The Tulips score but RRs are burned quickly. Tulips can't dodge with dodge, pick up ball with 4AG or NOS, block, or gfi all game long. Halftime ends with the score 1-1. During the second half, the Tulips' bad luck continues. A 4ST Black Orc catches the opening KO and walks his way down field. The orcs are filling up the Tulip's injury boxes. Lungbasher makes a decision to give up and run his players away and let the orcs have the win after seeing his apoth fail. Four of the elves run to the other half of the field. Ida, star thrower, is lieing on her back and Lungbasher tells her to stay there. The dice godz see that Lungs has given up so they hit the snack bar. BOOM! The Black Orc decides to hand off to another player AND FAILS! RR USED: FAILS! THE BALL IS NOW ON THE GROUND! The miracle play begins: Ida stands up, dodges into two TZ, dodges out of two TZ, takes a free move, dodges into two TZ, dodges into another two TZ and picks up the ball (Fails the dodge and RR used successfully), she GFIs to dodge out of the two TZ and makes another GFI in an attempt at reducing the range of pass down from long bomb. She makes the GFI but the pass is still a long bomb. Ida closes her eyes and heaves it down field to Emma Ugonnauckme. Emma catches it and runs to the goalline and waits. Lungbasher screams, "HOLY SHITE!" Emma scores on T8 to win the game! DICE GODZ RETURN FROM BEER RUN! 6-14-04 The Tulips are back to their winning ways! In the last five games, they are 4-1-0. They only negative was that Sheila Bescreaming was niggled when our apoth was Mickey Finned against Vivisection (Choas). Dice Godz, the next round of Bloodweiser is on Lungs! AS OF 6-14-04, LAYLA MEDOWN HAS PLAYED IN ALL 43 GAMES! A DAY MORE HORRILBE THAN 6-8-04! 6-16-04 vs Stunt Elfs Mary Moans dies and Seka Ofmen is niggled and forced to retire! What a FUGLY day! I must have screamed, UCK!" over 60 times! The Tulips couldn't do anything! THAT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT! The Stunt Elfs' coach did have the last, "UCK!" of the day because he gets just 10K for beating the crap out of us! Thank goodness it is over! THE "RAZTA" RULE: IF YOU HAVE A DIRTY PLAYER ON YOUR TEAM, DO NOT ASK FOR A GAME WITH THE TULIPS! DO NOT LISTEN TO RAZTA! HE WILL "DOUBLE SPEAK." YES, HE SAYS ONE THING AND THEN DOES THE OTHER! TULIPS PAID THE BUTCHER'S BILL! 6-24-04 vs Butcher's Bill Two newbie Tulips (catcher and WD) die when apoth is Mickey Finned! We won the battle but lost the war! KrREIGERS AND PITCH INVASION FORCE TULIPS TO DISBAND! Lungs is just plain tired of playing with so few bodies! Lungbasher retires the team on 6-28-04! |
New Team Page Beta
| Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1 |
Wardancer
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8 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Block, Dodge, Leap Jump Up, Side Step, Tackle |
14 | 2 | 8 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 42/ | 190k
(210)k |
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| 2 |
Catcher
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10 | 2 | 4 | 7 | Catch, Dodge +MA, Block |
11 | 4 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 22/ | 140k
(178)k |
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| 3 |
Lineman
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7 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Dodge, Block, Tackle, Guard |
48 | 3 | 9 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 51/ | 160k
(165)k |
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| 4 |
Wardancer
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9 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Block, Dodge, Leap +MA |
m | 3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 9/ | 150k
(0)k |
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| 6 |
Lineman
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7 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Dodge, Leader, Block |
50 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 4 | 44/ | 140k
(143)k |
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| 7 |
Lineman
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7 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Dodge, Block, Side Step |
52 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 35/ | 130k
(143)k |
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| 8 |
Lineman
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8 | 3 | 4 | 7 | +MA, Block, Guard |
n | 51 | 3 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 48/ | 150k
(123)k |
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| 14 |
Thrower
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7 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Pass Block, Dodge, Side Step |
21 | 20 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 43/ | 150k
(160)k |
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| 7 players (+1 player missing next game) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Games Played: | 52 (23/12/17) | | | TD Diff: | 4 (108 - 104) | | | Cas Diff: | -35 (41/29/11 - 65/34/17) |
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| Last Opponent: Kriegers | |||||||