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Pirates of Bogwash

[B] Goblin

History

The crew of The Reel Booty are widely known in the Islands of Bogwash as merciless, slightly insane, criminals. Under the command of Captain Sharktooth these Pirates have pillaged and looted over £1 Million Gold from ships in the last decade. Recently Sharktooth developed a new tactic involving squig bombs and chainsaws that made boarding actions a 100% guarantee of success.

Cargo ships that trade near the Bogwash Islands dread the sight of a green skull and crossbones on the horizon.

Recently during a freak storm, The Reel Booty and her crew found themselves off the coast of Lustria. It was a 2 week journey back to the Bogwash Islands so Sharktooth decided to make the most of the opportunity and pillage a few 'local' goods to take home with he. Those fancy Lizardman temples must be full of gold!

So Sharktooth's crew began their journey along the Lustrian Coast looking for anything that looked worth stealing.

After a few days of finding nothing but ruins of old coastal temples the ship's lookout Lewie 'Crow's Nest' Cooper spotted a ship in the shallow water near a beach.

Now Lewie isn't called 'Crow's Nest' because he is a particularly good lookout, rather, he was sent up there as punishment for 'pooping' on the poop deck by the ship's first mate Bray 'Iron Chest' Newbury. One of the cabinboy/trolls, Billy 'One Eye' Borrington, thought it would be useful to break Lewie's legs whilst he was up there so he wouldn't be able to come down and would stay as a permanent lookout forever.

Anyhow... Back to the story.

The ship turned out to belong to some beautiful Amazonian women who were fishing in reef. Most pirates would have been distracted by the beauty of the women and probably forgotten why they were actually there. The Pirates of Bogwash are professionals and no such trial thing would ever distract them from accumulating more gold.

Pirate code dictates that when looting and plundering you must always announce your presence and introduce yourself before boarding actions begin. This is to give the enemy a chance to surrender and retreat with their ship intact as every pirate knows that drowning and finding yourself in Davy Jone's locker is a fate worse than death.

So Sharktooth introduced himself to Amazonians.

'YAARRRR WE BE YE PIRATES OF BOGWASH AND YOU GIVE US TEH TREAZURES ANZ YOU LIVE'

The women looked at each other and laughed. A particularly bronzed women standing on the boat shouted back whilst simultaneously hurling her spear towards Sharktooth.

'This is our lands and we have never even heard of you! If you want our fish then you can fight us for them'

Sharktooth was so confused by the reply that he didn't notice the spear heading towards him. Luckily Little George walked past at the perfect moment and the spear skewered him straight through his back and pinned him to the central mast.

You would expect being skewered by a spear to be a problem but Little George is a giant, well a small one anyway. George was shunned away from his own people due to his short stature measuring only 8Ft5In however he was accepted into the crew of The Reel Booty as a youngster of only 4 years and quickly begain assisting the ships Trolls with heavy lifting duties.

Ah.. looks like I got distracted again. But the point is that George pulled the spear out and walked away like nothing had even happened.

Skarktooth was not stunned by the thrown spear but by the fact that the Amazonian women had no idea who The Pirates of Bogswash were.

'YARRRRL SOON KNOW WHO WE EZ WHEN WE BREAK YA PUUNY SHIP' Shouted Sharktooth as he ordered The Reel Booty into the shallow water to get the Attack Squigs in range. Seconds later there was a great crunch as the ship hit to corals below the water.

'We canni go no furthARRRR captain' bellowed the helmsman Oakey 'Evil Eye' Jones.

'BRING CAAAARNNONS TO BEAR' was the next order given.

By the time to huge ship had circled round to bring the target into range of its port cannons the women had rowed away laughing to themselves all the way home.

This was not the sort of thing that happened to the crew of The Reel Booty. Captain Sharktooth needed a way to make The Pirates of Bogwash feared in all the world. If only there was a way to murder huge amounts of people in front of large audiences??

The ship continued its plundering North along the shore of Lustria towards the Vampire Coast. It wasn't until a few days later that the Captain found what he was looking for.

Whilst sailing past the Fuming Serpent the crew could hear the cheering and booing of an enormous crowds. Naturally the source of all this noise had to be investigated.

A great stadium was visible at the foot of the volcano. There was a temporary port set up for ships to dock and resupply.

The captain decided it was time the crew got some shore leave so docked at the volcano's port and left a skeleton crew on board to guard his ship. There was something Sharktooth had to check out.

Sharktooth walked straight to the stadium in the mountainside. He brought George and 'One Eye' with him for a bit of protection.

When he arrived he saw something he never expected to find. The huge wooden stands were the strangest thing he had ever seen. Huge crowds made up of more species that he even knew existed was watching a bunch of humans and orcs fighting over a strange brown object. Sharktooth had an idea that he knew would change everything.

He asked one of the strange lizard creatures in the crowd what was going on and the green thing just shouted back 'BLOOD BOWL'.

Sharktooth stayed and watched a couple of matches. He began to realise just how much carnage happened on the pitch and watch the fans lapping up every moment, the teams on the pitch were like gods to them. He knew his plan would work.

Sharktooth spotted the fellow collecting all the money, a Ratman known as Ratthew Uglystream, and knew he needed to have some words.

Ratthew was found in the tunnels under the stadium counting coins. After a short session with Geroge and One Eye he became very agreeable and accepted all of Sharktooth's terms.

Ratthew agreed that Sharktooth could field a team of his own. There would be double payouts for every game (win or lose) and all weapons would be allowed. He even gave him some of the gold in his counting pile as a gesture of good will, under the promise he would never be left alone in a room with George the giant again!

When he returned to the ship he gathered all the crew on deck.

'ARRVASH YE SCURY GOBS WE GOTZ A PLAN TO MAKE US FAMED IN THE WHOLE WORLDZ. EVERYONZ WIL FEARS US ARRRD WE BE RICHEST IN DA WORLD. WE ARRS GOING TO PLAY BLOOD BOWL.

WE GOTS THE SAWS AND ZE TROLLAAAARS AN SQIGGGZZ SO WE KNOWS THE WAYZ OF CHARNAGE. WE SHOWS THEM WHO IS BOZ AND KILL EMS ALL.'

The crew were completely hooked and the world knew it when a great cheer was heard from the deck of the The Reel Booty. Louder than all crowds at the stadium.

'YAAAARRRRR'

So it was this day that The Bogswash Pirates formed a team. Not to win trophies but to cause as much chaos and carnage as possible and become the most famous pirates in the world!

Player Statistics

Since the crew of The Reel Booty are basically a bunch of hired thugs there is a constant turnover of new shipmates. This works perfectly for her captain who can easily get hold of more bodies to fight his battles at a low cost.

Because of this the crew haven't really achieved much on the Blood Bowl pitch except a lot of chaos. However, the captain decided that the top achievers of all time should at least be recognised in some way here (it makes him look better in the end anyway!).

Top Players - All Time	Name	Number
Completions	Bouncing Bob	2
Touchdowns	Bouncing Bob	20
Interceptions	Grundo Dirtyface	1
Casualties	Little George	25
Most Valuable Player	Evil Dave	7

Top Players - All Time	Name	Number
Star Player Points	Grundo Dirtyface	80
Passing	Bouncing Bob	11
Rushing	Bouncing Bob	613
Blocks	Grundo Dirtyface	409
Fouls	Evil Dave	138

The Original Crew of The Reel Booty

Captain Sharktooth

Captain Sharktooth was the original captain of The Reel Booty. He is the brains behind the chainsaws, battlecannons and squig bombs that made the pirates so famous and effective at plundering. He was Captain of the ship for 15 years and was both loved and feared by his crew.

It was this Captain that decided to form a Blood Bowl team to make the pirates more famous than any other in the world.

Unfortunately his brains were better than his Blood Bowl skills as he gained no skills or even touched the ball at any point in his career! In the teams 6th match against Guillermo's Red Wolves he had a heart attack whilst dodging away from the ogre Gorthag.

The Original Crew of The Reel Booty

Bray 'Iron Chest' Newbury

As the first mate of The Reel Booty Bray has been in charge of everyday running of the vessel for the last 10 years.

He was originally recruited to the crew personally by Captain Sharktooth after the Captain witnessed him take a direct knife threw his chest after a brawl with a Black Orc in a local tavern. The captain said if he lived he could become his first mate. Amazingly Bray pulled through and earned the respect of the crew immediately when they heard about his feat and nicknamed him 'Iron Chest'.

The Original Crew of The Reel Booty

Billy 'One-Eye' Borrington

Billy had a sort of strange power, he always attracted attention. No-one knew why or how he did but he just did. The Captain decided that if Billy was to climb on board enemy vessels the whole enemy crew would be watching him and trying (badly) to stop him the goblin pirates could just sneak on board and steal all the loot!

His power continued on the Blood Bowl pitch. For the teams first 2 games Billy got MVP both times without even touching the ball or causing a single casualty. However, during the 3rd game against The Oldheim Ogres his power turned out to be a curse. An ogre called Urut just couldn't leave him alone. This eventually led to them both hitting each other at the same time, Urut survived due to his think skull but sadly Billy was no more.

The Original Crew of The Reel Booty

Little George

George is a giant. No I don't mean big, I mean an actual giant. He was born in the village of Urf found in the 'World Edge Mountains' to the east of the lands controlled by the Empire. Whilst still a boy something wasn't right with George. As teenagers George's brothers and sisters grew to be over 10ft. George stopped at 8Ft5In. He was seen as tiny by his tribe and cast out as a young boy, being nicknamed 'Little George'.

A couple of years later he was found fighting, for scraps of food, in the pits of Lybaras by Captain Sharktooth. He was quickly recruited to the crew and has since made his size useful not only in plundering but on the Blood Bowl pitch by causing the first kill for The Pirates of Bogwash.

The Original Crew of The Reel Booty

Crazy Dave

Now you must realise that all pirates are mad by now. But, sometimes there are those that are even more insane than the rest. Most of these mad people eventually become captains of their own ships (it takes a special sort of person to lead pirates), however, in our case Dave found his calling hacking apart enemy crews with a chainsaw.

Dave can be found on the deck every night merticulously cleaning every individual blade of his saw. You wouldn't want it to jam whilst it was halfway through your neck after all, would you?

Team Statistics

This is where The Pirates of Bogwash record their records against the other races in the world.

Whatever the result of the game as long as chaos is caused and the team gains some new fans it is always a win. We normally loot the cash box on the way out anyway.

'Arrrrh We wud win more game if they let me use me ARRtack Squigs!'

Quote - Captain Sharktooth at the end of the teams first season

Amazons

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	0	1

These women were the first people we met outside our own islands. They laughed at us for not being famous enough. We will show them when we meet them on the pitch. Your blodge is no protection from our saws!

Chaos

Wins	Draws	Losses
3	3	6

You think we fear your claws! HahARRR think again. Only our trolls care an they be coming back from the dead 7 days a week.

Chaos Dwarf

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	2	8

Who is these short people with little brainsz? Wez got more brains than all of them put together in one of our littles fingers. Yeah you not smart enough to know we has brains in our fingers!

Chaos Pact

Wins	Draws	Losses
2	0	4

OOhs they gotz the big uns on this team. That pointy elf thinks he can confuse us with his skills, no chance. You thinks you gotz us but that Gobbo there isn't on your team e' woz always on ours.

Dark Elf

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	2	3

ARRRH evil elveses that wot we want to see. Those point eared brats thiks they can beat us, Well... we got a ship, what you got. Nothing we care aboutz anyway.

Dwarf

Wins	Draws	Losses
2	1	2

Ah you thought you could beat us with you guard wallz. Think again we az no cares about nuthin. Lets see what you thinks when we throw our bombs at you faces!

Elf

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	2	3

You pointy ears go nuthin. No speeds an no armours. You think you beat us with cheap players. We got the cheapest of em all. Us pirates practically workd for free. Give us rum and we be on your team if you say please.

Goblin

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	1	1

Arrrgh these lads not even pirates how coudl they ever beatz us? Go get yourselves a ship and then fight us proper at sea. I bet you wishes you had some attack squigs likes us.

Halfling

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	0	1

Trees you says? Well we got chainsaws and what you think we use them for. Yeah thats right, cutting down forests!

High Elf

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	0	4

Ah you thinks your fancy armour will help you. Lets see how you enjoy a trollz sitting on you faces. Betz you not smart like us to get face armour.

Human

Wins	Draws	Losses
3	3	6

Good at many things, masters of none! Well thatz about says it. You not masters of nuthin. We iz the masters of everything.

Khemri

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	2	5

Oh boy wez thought we bad at picking up the ball. You mummmies showed us how to do it... haha yeah thats right you missed it again.

Lizardmen

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	2	2

We might have started in Lustria but that don't mean nuthing. We shows those skins whoz boss even on your home turf. Those fat lizards don't do nuthing to us, wez too sneaky and just run away.

Necromantic

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	1	6

Zombies! You wish you ah zombie gobbbos they would be better but youz can't catch us.

Norse

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	0	3

Wot's this we got ere. Humans without an ogre. You think that White Troll better than ours. You get confused in the cold. ARRR, we got the real hitters ere.

Nurgle

Wins	Draws	Losses
3	2	2

You might be green but we is the greenest. You got nuthign on our greens. Your greens all mouldy like our oranges and we don't even likes oranges.

Ogre

Wins	Draws	Losses
5	1	1

Your big boys might be strong but your little uns meanz nuthing; we just look at em funny an they dies. The big uns get confused if we run about too much so we just run in circles and your ogres eat the durt!

Those Large Ogre CollidARRs they think they got more smart scientist type but we knows they still stoopid!

Orc

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	3	3

Why yous got no gobbos on your teams. Oh I remembers its because you not good enough for thems to help you. Maybe you should get good first them the gobbs might consider joining your teams worth it!

Skaven

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	0	4

Hahaha Arr we eats the rats for breakfast. You boys think you fast, well we shows you whoz the best when we get ours trollz to throw us faster than your ratlings.

Slann

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	0	3

Sweet monkey of Nuffle. They bouncing like squigs! We gotz to get us some of them legz for our squighoppers!

Undead

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	2	4

Go onz kill us. We not joining you in the afterlife. Davy Jones got ARRR souls till the end of dayz.

Underworld

Wins	Draws	Losses
0	1	8

Gobbs witz no wepons. Whos you think you boys are, You want a real fight get out of your darkness ands come join our crews. The sea is where the world iz. The glowy stuff no good for your pooper. Our ship oranges much nicer.

Vampire

Wins	Draws	Losses
1	1	2

Go on eatz us. Oh wait we got sea bloods; you no wannt eatz that. You just suck so much we getz more famous than you easy.

Wood Elf

Wins	Draws	Losses
2	0	2

You thinks you speedy. You trips an we bootz you in the face then we see whoz the quickest when you deadz!

Achievements

Hear be some PLUNDARR!! that The Pirates of Bogwash found on their travels

Being Pirates we sometimes forget what treasures we have got; especially if we lost the map!
However, this section aims to be a collection of all the badges and groups/tournaments we achieve over our time at sea.

Reff!!

Has 5 players sent off in the match.

"ARRR! We be pirates and pirates like t'fouls. Dem other boys no nuthin about how's to play a proper game. We fouls every turn we cans. Nuthing can stop us so we always got lads sended off. 3 weapons and 2 other is the least we do and that makes at 5 every game rights?"

Quote - Captain Sharktooth at the end of the teams first season

Greet The Fans

Has thrown a team-mate into the crowd.

Grunt Plankdancer threw Nevin 'The Rat' Prince and the ball into the crowd during this match against a bunch of frogs calling themselves Yougort.

The ball came back and was caught by a Slann doing a crazy diving catch. Unfortunately Nevin did not com eback from the stands so quickly!

Grab It

Have 5 players with diving tackle.

It took us 19 games but we finally got enough crew members with skills to have 5 of the diving fellows. Who know's how long they will last but at least for the next game we will have 5.

Really Stupid -> I'm with stupid!

Fail all boneheads for 3 consecutive turns

After 38 games games our trolls finally were dumb enough that they both got confused for 3 whole turns. Must have seen something in the crowd that looked like lunch.

My Fans!!

5+ opponents stunned on pitch invasion yours=0

During this match against the fantastic human team Sonik Deth, despite the fact the weather seemed like tornado season, our fans proved their worth by helping us score a TTM touchdown!

It was obviously none other than the famous Little George that performed the throw. All our other trolls are a little too hungry.

Rich

Have a treasury of 500,000gp (Not through handicaps)

We finally did it! It took us 51 games but we managed to plunder enough treasure and gold to buy a new ship.

No one is quite sure exactly what happened but during the same match our treasury and Captain Arndale mysteriously vanished with a few members of The Large Ogre CollidARRs and the 'new ship' was never seen again.

Plucking Hell

Intercept needing a 10 or more

We showed those Agile Mens who is really has the most agility when Grundo Dirtyface (the star troll himself) intercepted a pass whilst in 2 tackle zones during this match.

SprintARR

Our ARR sprint records

Season XV - 36 Points (6-2-8) - 13th Overall. 2nd Goblins.

Season XVI - 26 Points (2-4-10) - 25th Overall. 2nd Goblins.

Racial RunARRup

2nd place goblins - ARR season XV

Season XV - 36 Points (6-2-8)

Those pesky Night StalkARRs stole our plundARR at the last second and beat us with 36 points, the same as us, but a higher average TV. We all know it was because Little George retired half way through the season to start a goulash business!

BleedARRs

Most casualties against - ARR season XV

Season XV - 77 Casualties against.

YAARRRR thats right we might not be the winARRs but we are the best at bleeding! We had the most casulties against in Season XV. We suspect this may have something to do with us meeting the Large Ogre CollidARRs during our 50th game where we were forced to fight against those 'Scientists' for 3 matches in a row.

ComplimentARRy Manicure

Kill or retire a CPOMBer (preferably with a foul)

Our first cpomber kill... Took us 75 games but we finally managed to remove one of them from the box.
Logan was killed by the boot of Evil Dave during this match against the famous Bulboniks le Retour!! Logan's partner in crime and legendary cpomber Jean Grey was also seriously injured during the same match by none other than our star troll Grundo Dirtyface.

Racial RunARRup

2nd place goblins - ARR season XVI

Season XVI - 26 Points (2-4-10)

Was a tough season for us this time. No matter how hard we tried we just always seemed to hit a spot of bad luck in the last few minutes of a match, turning our hard fought draws into losses.

Unfortunate;y we took a wrong turn at the Van-der mountains and got a little lost around Norsica for a few weeks. After getting directions from a disgruntled Yeti we plan on making our mark on next season!

Man the hARRpoons!

Win against a team >2,000k OR win playing uphill >600k TV

During this fantastic match against Fistfull of Steel we finally achieved one of our long term goals and defeated a team at 2090tv. Not only did we beat a team over 2000tv they were also 850tv higher than us.

Reverse Picker

Has won a game playing up 390TV.

The same match against Fistfull of Steel also earned us this nice little badge. Since they were 850tv higher than us I think we should get 2 badges instead!

My Ref

Ref ignores 8 consecutive fouls

Everyone knows the ref is a goblin!

During this match against the Rablay Rats the ref ignored everything we did and allowed Evil Dave to foul 9 times in a row. He would have carried on fouling but the match had ended!

CentARRian

Has played 100 games in the box.

The Pirates finally completed one of their long term goals. Such a momentous occasion naturally was filled with celebrations. Rumour has it the pirates even stole an extra stadium to mark the occasion. A special map was produced to mark the occasion which can be found here.

Plucking Hell Mark 2

Intercept needing a 10 or more.

Grundo Dirtyface, the star troll himself, continues his ridiculous feats of agility during this match against Instrumentos - J

Against all odds he catches the ball in no less than 3 tacklezones... then proceeds to dodge through 3 more and run it down field. Unfortunately his team couldn't back him up (as they were all crying in the KO box) so no touchdown scored.

Kills

Pants from the team Egypt 11 was pummelled into the ground by Little George and sat on until he died for a second time. This was The Pirates of Bogwash's first match so at this point George the giant didn't understand that you don't have to kill everyone you see in front of you just because the crowd is cheering.

Alberto the Slann Blitzer was killed when Lewie 'Crow's Nest' Cooper kicked his face in during a gang foul in a match against Yougort. Unfortunately the ref was paying attention and he was sent off for a 'job well done'.

Luczniczka had his neck broken by the murderous 'giant' Little George during this crazy game against Bydgoszcz. The wood elves tried to speed past us for a quick TD but we showed them by slaughtering every player who got in our way. Bydgoszcz were forced to retire after the game.

rabia died whilst trying to run faster during this match against the lizards known as Reptil. Although none of our pirates killed the guy personally we cleared the pitch (minus 1 Skink) so felt that we provoked rabia into trying to run too fast and breaking the sound barrier, along with his skull.

Gibblebabble was strangled to death as he tried to sneak past Sharkey 'Two-Shiv' McDonald during this match against our dirty underground cousins The St. Corner Hoodies. Sharkey used his diving tackle training to quickly attack Gibblebabble as he tried to sneak past to get the ball.

Garuk The Black was gangfouled back into the sewers by Timmy 'Peg-Leg' Tombers just after Garuk was beat up by Steven 'Iron Gut' McSwagen when he rolled triple skulls trying to block the goblin. His life was swiftly ended during this match against The New Brunswick Rat Riots.

red skull was smashed into pulp by Little George during this match against the strangely mutated marvel and dc comics.

In the same match against marvel and dc comics Little George continued his murderous rampage by stabbing HULK with his cutlass. He just had to prove he was the better troll!

Brynnvig, the especially agile high elf blitzer, was pummelled into the ground by Grundo Dirtyface during this especially bloody match against The Ljosalfheim Lyrists.

The slaughter continued in the same match when Big Benny ripped Heidmun in half and deprived The Ljosalfheim Lyrists of their star kicker.

This was an especially brutal game for The Ljosalfheim Lyrists. Not only were these 2 key players killed we also serious injured Heidvald. The victory they took from us was of high cost!

M. Etzga met his end after the crew brought out THE BATTERING RAM and sent it towards TSV 1980 Maxvorstadt during this match. After the crew had finished their epic charge M. Etzga was found speared on the end. That will show TSV 1980 Maxvorstadt for thinking they can foul better than pirates!

Mighty Bob of the famous Bulboniks le Retour!! was smashed into the dirt by our venerable Captain Deadpool 'The Immortal' during a particularly brutal game. Bulboniks won the game this time but at a high cost to their players.

Our first cpomber kill... Took us 75 games but we finally managed to remove one of them from the box.

Logan was killed by the boot of Evil Dave during this match against the famous Bulboniks le Retour!! Logan's partner in crime and legendary cpomber Jean Grey was also seriously injured during the same match by none other than our star troll Grundo Dirtyface.

Evil Dave continued his murderous rampage and showed Orlathos, the sneaky Dark Elf, the boot during this match against Clar Karond Cripplers. A small bribe to the Clar Karond Cripplers team doctor before the match meant there was no chance of a 'clean' match.

Yes that's right more Evil Dave... he is just that EVIL

Talavoth took (the now now legendary boot) of Evil Dave to the groin during this match against the Clar Karond Cripplers. The embarrassment was so much that Talavoth simply rolled over and died!

Evil Dave brought his Kill total to 4 during this match against the Blood Dolls Society. Despite the crazy plays from both sides Dave continued his duty and killed Pok the thrall.

Finally someone else got a chance to kill something other than Evil Dave doing all the work!

Lucas, the black orc blocker, was smashed into pulp by the fist of none other than Larry Large Fist during this match against L.A Green POWER.

In one of our most famous games, Ripper (The Star Player Troll) was made an honorary pirate after he decapitated Barthok of Fistfull of Steel.

Not only did he kill Barthok, Ripper also scored us our winning throw team mate touchdown!

Cory Bluelightning the journeyman linerat was sat on and crushed by Grundo Dirtyface during this match against The Rablay Rats. Cory definitely wont be helping any other teams out again.

During this match against Skill is Skill, Mad Max went on a rampage with his chainsaw (he even managed to play in both halves before he was sent off for fouling!) when he cleaved Julius Clumsyrock in two. Not only did he kill one elf he also seriously injured 3 more!

Mad Max continued his rampage during this match against The Smashington Greenskins when he killed Gorblum Lightningstrike by severing him in two with his chainsaw.

Aaron Coldfist had his entrails ripped out when Runty Ruffles lured him into the crowd during this match against Loec's Lynces. It doesn't take much to convince an elf to follow you.. normally mentioning his mother works!

During the same match against Loec's Lynces, Grundo Dirtyface continue to sit on/eat everything he saw. Aaron Clearhawk was a little crunchy for Grundo's tastes but he isn't too fussy.

Fredrick Coldbrook was added to the list of casualties during this seriously bloody match against OttoGorgLohh, the so called 'pact team'. Their lack of re-rolls didn't help them win this one after the Pirates almost managed to pitch clear. Not only did Runty Ruffles managed to kill Fredrick our star trolls Grundo and Lenny also managed to seriously injure their troll and ogre!

During possibly the greatest match of all time against enaneros del caos the Pirate's greatest Cannonmaster Joe scored multiple snipes with his barrage of cannonballs. Not only did he completely obliterate Saratoga the chaos dwarf blocker he also seriously injured at least 3 other players.

The master fouler Itchy Scabbyhole continued his murdering spree using his newly improved 'spikey shoes' when he finished off Quagg during this match against Leapfrogging. He tells me the boots are to counter this so call 'black box trophy' imposters - I guess we will see.

Crow's Nest Tales

This is where we record any memorable adventures we have. Click on parts of the map to find out more:

Memorable Players

Leaping Joe

Although it may not seem like it but Joe was actually not one of the original members of the crew. As you may have realsied pogo's are not something that pirates regularly have on their ships. Joe was actually recruited in the teams 6th game where they found him at at a circus in Los Cabos, Estalia. Captain Sharktooth saw the potential of having someone with the circus skills of Joe on the team. As it happened Joe took Sharktooth's number 10 when the captain 'stopped playing'.

Joe was killed by Harry Carson a dirty Skeleton from the team Showoff during this match.

When he passed away he had the all time records for: touchdowns (14); star player points (54) and rushing (345).

Memorable Players

Grunt Plankdancer

Grunt was the team's third troll and was recruited by Captain Arndale at a bar at Marienburg. He gained the name 'Plankdancer' after he was found dancing on the deck in the middle of the night wearing a tutu.

After playing in 34 of the teams 40 games Grunt suffered some serious injuries during his last 2 (-ag and -st) and was forced to retire from Blood Bowl thanks to the boot of Cyril "Barmy" Fotheringay-Phipps during this match against The Bone Raiders II.

At his retirement Grunt held the all time record for MVP (4) whilst also having a whopping 6 strength and 174 blocks.

Grunt is now the head coach for the cheerleading squad!

Memorable Players

Broderick Greenbeard

Broderick Greenbeard (AKA 'Broders') was the teams first super goblin. When the crew started playing Blood Bowl he was inspired to become the best him could and make The Captain Proud. This extreme training lead him to becoming as agile and as strong as an elf but also small enough to dodge about anywhere he wanted. With these skills he quickly became a key player on the pitch.

Unfortunately during this blood game against The Dwarven Outcasts he was killed by the clawed monster JackHammer.

At the time of his death he was the first of the last 3 original team members to die after playing in 42 of the teams first 45 games. Although he never got any all time records his 'elf-like' stature will mean he is never forgotten.

Memorable Players

Willy 'The Mad' Jangles

Willy was the crew's second fanatic. Prior to forming a Blood Bowl team it was the duty of one of the crew members to train in the art of the ball and chain and leap from the ship into the side of enemy vessels causing extensive hull damage to one or both of the ships!

He has been a member of the crew for many years now but was commonly found in the kitchens cooking meals. It wasn't until the death of the crew's fanatic Maxwell 'Tideturner' Larsa that Willy began training to become a fantic.

Willy joined the team in their 3rd game and played a total 32 matches until retiring after the teams 46th game. During his time with the crew he became stronger and more agile than most (ST7, AG4) so have decided to join the circus where he uses his skills to juggle cows.

Memorable Players

Captain Arndale

Arndale was the crew's second Captain. He took over as Captain after the sudden death of Captain Sharktooth during the team's 6th game when Sharktooth had a sudden heart attack.

Arndale was Captain for 37 games and generally led his crew far from the action if possible. He only touched the ball once and never scored a touchdown, inflicted a casualty or intercepted a pass. Despite this the crew could not allow his death to go unpunished.

He was killed by the Ogre-Scientist Richard Feynogre during a series of matches to mark both The Pirates of Bogwash and Large Ogre CollidARRs' 50th matches. A bounty of $5000 has been placed on Richard's head by Little George.

Memorable Players

Little George

Little George (the giant) was the team's star troll and possibly the teams most famous player of all time. At the time of his retirement he was the penultimate surviving member of the original team. He is most famously known for causing the teams first kill and also killing 2 players in one match!

He retired after the team 54th match after playing 51 of them. At his retirement he was all time blocker (303), casualties (25) and SPP (60).

He was injured by Haka from the team Under-Wraps during this match where even the God's cried tears for the entire game knowing it would be George's last. George is still part of the crew and can be found in the ship's Galley preparing meals which he brings to every one of the teams matches, proudly selling 'George's Goulash' from the stands.

Memorable Players

Captain 'Cut-throat' Beatrice

Beatrice was the crew's 3rd Captain and 1st female member. She replaced Captain Arndale after his mysterious disappearance during an encounter with the ogre-scientists. After the match Beatrice was found redecorating the ship. She explained that she had won the ship in a game of cards with Richard Feynogre the previous night. She pulled a huge contract out of her pocket showed it to the crew, it quickly became obvious that none of them could actually read. Not wanting to look stupid in front of their new 'Captain', and honestly slightly confused why there was a woman on board, the crew accepted that she must now be in charge.

She was much more active on the pitch than her previous Captains, earning an MVP in her first game and even scoring a touchdown! Unfortunately she was forced to retire after 8 games when she tripped and smashed her hip. She has now bought a majority share in 'Tinselman Tapestries' after she told the crew 'maybe piracy isn't right for me'.

Memorable Players

Captain "Douche" Nibbly

Nibbly was the crew's 4th Captain. After the success of Captain Beatrice noone is quite sure where Nibbly came from. There were rumours that he simply came from a rich Goblin family and paid his way into the position. Others suspect some kind of 'inside job'. Regardless of this Nibbly quickly gained the nickname "Douche" due to his complete inability to lead a crew of pirates.

It came as no surprise when he was seriously concussed during his first match and forced to retire. A blow to the head from the evil dwarf Belial III from the team (B)estias left him so confused he forgot everything except his name!

Memorable Players

Lewie 'Crow's Nest' Cooper

Lewie isn't called 'Crow's Nest' because he was a particularly good lookout, rather, he was sent up there as punishment for 'pooping' on the poop deck by the ship's first mate Bray 'Iron Chest' Newbury. One of the cabinboy/trolls, Billy 'One Eye' Borrington, thought it would be useful to break Lewie's legs whilst he was up there so he wouldn't be able to come down and would stay as a permanent lookout forever.

He was forced to retire after he was jumped on by Botis II during this match against the short people known as (B)estias

Lewie was the longest surviving member of the original crew. He played in 60 of the teams first 61 games. At the time of his retirement he held the records for 7th oldest Box line-goblin and 24th oldest overall goblin player.

Memorable Players

Captain Deadpool 'The Immortal'

Captain Deadpool 'The Immortal' was the crew's 5th Captin. Deadpool was cursed during an experiment by an eccentric witch that meant he could never be killed by another creature.He used his 'talent' to rise through the ranks of Bloodbowl players worldwide until he found himself Captain of The Reel Booty.

The curse proved to be true as he was never killed during all his years on the Bloodbowl pitch. He finally was forced to retire after he broke his arm whilst trying to dodge away from Kheyan during this especially bloody match against The Red Hunters.

Memorable Players

Bouncing Bob

Bouncing Bob was a heck of a pogoer!

An executive decision was made after the teams 85th game against Undeadicace, when Bouncing Bob was injured by Joe DASSIN, that the team should return to its original strategy of playing without a pogoer.

At the time of his retirement Bob had played 38 games and held the ALL-Time records for: completions (2); touchdowns (20, #13 top goblin); spp (74); passing (11) and rushing (613, #8 top goblin).

Bob has since joined the teams extensive panel of celebrity coaches and can be seen pitchside shouting random insults at the opposing team.

Memorable Players

Evil Dave

A legend was told that Dave was found as a youngling alone in the wreck of a ship covered in blood. From that point on looking into his eyes was said to drive men into madness, with many committing suicide.

As the team's first dedicated fouler he ended his career with both top fouls (138) and most MVPs (7) of all time for the Pirates. He was also 3rd top goblin fouler and got 4 confirmed kills for the team!

Dave was finally killed by Jindra of 11 Pact during this match. Many had previously tried, causing him multiple serious injuries during his long 63 match career, but Dave always found a way to carry on fouling!

Memorable Players

Captain Blas de Lezo

Captain Blas de Lezo was the teams 6th Captain. He inherited the ship and crew during a game of chance off the coast of Tilea. Unfortunately due to this he wasn't exactly a natural born captain and the crews plundering days we severely hurt because of this. Blas was a fighter more than a thinker. Previous captains spent weeks planning their next raids and the crew revelled in the rewards. Unfortunately this was not the case with Blas, many crew lost their lives fighting pointless battles in the name of Captain Lezo.

Despite having the skills to stay alive Captain Lezo eventually lost one of the great fights he was so famous for. To top it all off it wasnt even anyone famous that killed him! The mass produced (genetially engineered killer) '3' of The Loquitos salou eventually finished him off during this match.

Crow's Nest Tales

History of The Pirates of Bogwash

Captain's Orders

Man Overboard

The Pirates Return

The Pirate Code

1) Never fight fair.
(Yes we will foul you every turn if we have to, CPOMBers will be priority targets)

2) Rule the seven seas.
(We always play for fun so expect pirate themed insults/commentary)

3) Never surrendAAR
(We never conceed)

4) Captain knows best.
(There must always be a captain - new captain is named by the coach that killed/retired the previous)

Name

Position

Skills

Inj

Cost

Grundo Dirtyface

Troll

Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Block, Dodge, Break Tackle, Stand Firm

-ag, -ma

139

110k (110+120k)

Lenny 'Lead-belly'

Troll

Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Block, Break Tackle, Guard, +AV

110k (110+100k)

The Killinator

Looney

Chainsaw, Secret Weapon, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

Burrito Bob

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

Crud Picklebreath

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

Itchy Scabbyhole

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Dirty Player

40k (40+30k)

Grumpy Gertrude

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

Runty Ruffles

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

The Flying Sausage

Doom Diver

Right Stuff, Stunty, Swoop

60k (60+0k)

Captain Sparrow

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

Jimmy "Crowbar" Mittens

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, +AG, Sure Feet, Sprint, Jump Up

113

40k (40+120k)

Spinning Steve

Fanatic

Ball & Chain, No Hands, Secret Weapon, Stunty, Mighty Blow, Block, Guard

70k (70+70k)

Cannonmaster Joe

Bomma

Dodge, Bombardier, Secret Weapon, Stunty, Hail Mary Pass

-ma, -ag

40k (40+30k)

Jake 'The Boss' Jackson

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

Scruffy Muff(in)

Goblin

Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty

40k (40+0k)

15 players

Coach:	Miceycraft	Re-Rolls (120k):	3
Race:	Goblin	Fan Factor:	8
Team Value:	1570k	Assistant Coaches:	0
Treasury:	20000	Cheerleaders:	0
Tournament Weight:	1570k	Apothecary:	Yes

Last Opponent: Nox Perpetua
Games Played:	142 (28/29/85)	\|	TD Diff:	-118 (129 - 247)	\|	Cas Diff:	-296 (165/95/28 - 417/118/49)