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Middenheim Meat Grinders
Retired [R] Human

An aspiring and somewhat unhinged group of players, the Middenheim Meatgrinders were made among countless other teams in an attempt to win fame and fortune. Lead and Coached by Barthomelew "Hook"Kordeff and Captained by Lothar, the Meatgrinders were recruited from all walks of life from the demented and fanatical Paladin Luther Smitehammer (RIP) to the regal and pompous noble, Viktor Vauban (RIP). The challenge however will be maintaining both their coffers and their lives in order to make something of themselves.

Most notably the Middenheim Meatgrinders have already begun recruiting famous Stars to both help their on-field performance and reputation. Helmut Wulf was the first to be hired and is said to be than happy to continue services with the team in the forseeable future so long as he gets to swing his chainsaw around. Most famously, Griff Overwald and Mighty Zug have been hired by the team but much to the agitation of the star players, the supposed "performance" of the Middenheim Meatgrinders has been sorely lacking. Some rumours say legal action has been taken behind closed doors.

Due to increased tensions between the team and Griff Oberwald (and by extension the Reikland Reavers), Coach Kordeff has looked for alternatives. Most recently after a match was arranged against particularly vicious Orc team, Kordeff called in some favours to put together enough money for the most famous Ogre of them all, Morg N Thorg! Griff was quick to return contact with the Coach after and was swiftly back into helping the team.

Griff and Zug both pressed charges against the team soon afterward, a series of losses occurring (and severe to fatal injuries received) which climaxed where both stars featured together and still lost the game. They claimed this was damaging to both their and the Reikland Reavers reputation which took a whole half of the Middenheim Meatgrinders' treasury (130k). Despite this, Griff has been insistent on playing for the team whenever he sees fit. While this hurt (and continues to hurt due to ongoing money been required to be sent to the Reikland Reavers post the court case) the finances of the team, Helmut and Morg N Thorg are still more than happy to continue playing for the Middenheim Meatgrinders and have gone on to take many games with them.

Griff Oberwald has recently started garnering a number of victories for the Middenheim Meat Grinders. The most notable was against a Chaos Renegade team, where fighting alongside Morg, Griff managed to score both touchdowns and hold onto the ball. The star was quick to point out that due to his recent success with the team as well as the legal disputes from before, he would be "charging" extra. From the immense 300k treasury, Griff and the Reavers claimed 180k.

Morg was once more hired following this heavy hit to the Meatgrinders' treasury and lead them to an incredible victory against a ferocious Chaos Dwarf team, after knocking out their star Bull Centaur and leading the scrum. Griff Oberwald, ever crafty and watchful, very shortly after "requested" to be included in the teams next game. This time, Griff did indeed show off why he was the legendary player and went on to help the team defeat a near unbeatable Chaos team 1-0, only their fourth loss ever on their record. Uncharacteristically, Griff did not demand any extra follow up gold but did insist he be put up for MVP promotion (he failed to be nominated).

Sadly following a small break, Griff Oberwald starred once more alongside Morg against a Chaos team and unfortunately did not live up to his reputation. Despite sacking the carrier first half for a touchdown, Griff clearly becoming a bit cocky, tripped while running with the ball, injuring himself and costing the team the game. Much to the surprise of the team, no additional charges were made but that could also be warranted to the reportedly agonizing pain Griff was in.

After this match, despite the insistence of Griff, Morg N Thorg was hired in his stead against a ferocious Orc team. Morg eagerly waded into the scrum but unfortunately nearly the entire Orc line up gang piled the Legend and after a near full team foul, injured him. But all was not lost, Morg cheering what little he could from the injured box. Between the sideline support and some generously donated traps, the Middenheim Meatgrinders ended the game in a draw. Following another three matches, Morg managed to help the team gain another two victories. Griff Oberwald, despite being provided assurances of his presence in the teams' next match, was still upstaged by Morg. However after a catastrophic block made by Morg seeing him injured in the opening moments of the game and the team losing the match versus an Orc team, Coach Kordeff relented and agreed for Griff to play for their next game.

Griff Oberwald however once more showed his weight in gold, receiving an injury from a brutal block from the opposing Human blitzer. The Middenheim Meatgrinders, infuriated and frustrated over both the "legend" and their recent performance, played like they never played before and managed to garner a hard fought 2-2 against the opposing human team. Griff, once more, was reported to have been in terrible, terrible pain but much to the surprise of the Middenheim Meatgrinders and Coach Kordeff, was back into the fray for their next match against a Nurgle team. This time however, the team was insistent that Griff provide blitzing support than hog the ball. The team managed to come away with a victory for 2-1, but Griff, clearly not at his best, tripped and injured himself early in the second half. Lysander the teams' star catcher, pulled the victory from the jaws of defeat.

Soon after with Griff both injured and currently performing poorly, Morg was hired against the veteran norse team the Hellbound Charioteers. After a large scrum, many, many blocks and a last minute riot the game ended 2-2 with the team receiving Morg with open arms and warmly. Following this match was another dogged game against a ferocious Orc team. Despite the best efforts of Morg (who scored!) and the team, the Middenheim Meatgrinders came away losing 1-2, with their star thrower Vardan Huxlow brutally slain in the process. Following this was a match against a Chaos Dwarf team. Morg N Thorg once again featured but to the Meatgrinder's dismay, was taken off field from a brutal foul and the team lost 3-0.

Coach Kordeff, despite being on exceptionally good terms with Morg, resorted to reopening contact with Griff Oberwald. Once the legend himself appeared however, his demeanour was somewhat different. More reserved and quick spoken, Griff seemed to be almost entirely a new person. Kordeff did note however, he did not once see Griff without his helmet. In the ferocious match against a Chaos Chosen team, Griff and Zug both participated and managed to fight them to a vicious draw of 1-1. Griff came to the fight with a new belt and even enhanced gloves. Nearly untouchable, the Star Blitzer bolted up field and none could lay a hand on him. Griff was quick to vanish, followed soon by Zug but Coach Kordeff was surprisingly pleased at this recent turn of events.

Morg was swiftly rehired soon after however, more than eager to bring back some blood for the opposing team. Unfortunately the Vampires the team faced off against were too much and they lost 2-1 after two dastardly blitzes in the kick-off. It was noted by Lysander perhaps giving Morg the ball could have helped their chances soon after he had tripped for the equalizer touchdown.

Coach Kordeff had begun to lose hope. The team had not won a match in so long and the Middenheim Meatgrinders were looking less than happy with their current streak of games. Griff Oberwald however, once more reappeared on the scene. His demeanour was still the same as before and again the team realized he never removed his helmet. His eyes shone with something different and all he said when questioned by the team and Coach Kordeff was that he would win. The Meatgrinders were infuriated by this but Griff was set down to play in their next match against a ferocious Orc team.

Griff Oberwald proved, after a performance hiatus, to be everything the team could have hoped for. Calling quick and successive blitzes, being nearly untouchable and rapidly knocking out the Orc Star Blitzer seconds into the match, the Middenheim Meatgrinders overwhelmed the Orcs. Griff bolted like lightning across the pitch, dodging seamlessly through the orc lines and blocking and blitzing any who would threaten the teams carrier. The Orcs struggled to even touch him. Despite Griff receiving an injury from an overenthusiastic blitz into a box towards the end of the match, the team managed to win an overwhelming 4-1.

Coach Kordeff and the team were speechless and just as abruptly as he had appeared, Griff Oberwald quickly vanished. Furthermore, the teams treasury had not been touched by any angry Reaver's agents in a while. The teams spirits were at an all time high and the post match celebration was immense. This did not last however.

Over eager and filled with blind courage, the Meatgrinders fought against a Chaos Renegades team 1-2, with Griff being knocked out early in a scrum then crowd surfed in the second half. The second match was lost 0-2 vs a Nurgle squad as the team struggled to hold back the Nurgle tide without an Ogre. Griff ordered the team to retreat to the sides. Lysander, choosing to carry the ball was sacked and Griff was not capable of breaking through to save the ball. Bronto Burt the replacement Ogre was also crippled for the game and would miss their follow up game. To say the Middenheim Meatgrinders were demoralized, especially after the 4-1 match, would be an understatement. Griff breaking his silence, albeit in a much gruffer tone, insisted that the team had simply failed to keep up with him. The team was infuriated, with Griff making a hasty exit.

Coach Kordeff now fearing for both the teams' future, reached out to Morg N Thorg once more. This time being organized against a Chaos Chosen team, it was decided that Morg would be the designated ball carrier. Morg was reported to have grinned a particularly toothy grin upon hearing this. After Morg sackied the carrier to get the ball free, the Meatgrinders got an early touchdown in the first half. At the start of the second half Morg swiftly picked up the ball and his title "The Ballista" was quickly realized as he charged up the field. With support of the team, Morg could not be stopped as he barreled through what opposition the Chaos team threw at him and promptly scored for the team. Ending the game 2-1, the Middenheim Meatgrinder's morale was somewhat restored but their celebration post-match had a record level amount of booze, with Morg included in the festivities.

The celebrations were only momentary however and the Middenheim Meatgrinders' next match was against yet another ferocious Orc team. Morg N Thorg, much to the relief of the team, was hired. Despite the horrific imbalance in the teams' skills, Morg lead the charge, blasting into the Orc lines. The Orcs struggled to keep him pinned in the scrum which gave the team the ample opportunity to score quickly. After an intense match from start to finish, the game ended 2-2. Despite the death of Ballaron Ironhammerer, the team considered the match a success, as did Morg himself who was quite proud of the amount of blocks he had flung in the game.

Following this match, the Middenheim Meatgrinders faced off against another human team. Despite recent complaints from the Reikland Reavers, Morg N Thorg, again was hired by the team. Quickly retrieving the ball in the first half, Morg effortlessly blasted his way up field with support of the team scoring the first touchdown. By the second half, due too to sweltering heat, their opponents were feeling less than stalwart and the Meatgrinders went on to win a 2-0 victory. Both the Middenheim Meatgrinders and Morg had quite a large celebration following this great turn in fortune.

The Reikland Reavers and Griff however, had other things to say. According to some clause in the lawsuit put towards the team, Griff could now enforce himself to play on the team. As such for their next match, Griff Oberwald will be featuring on the team. This dismayed many of the players.

Morg N Thorg however, had other ideas. Reportedly, after a supposed "meeting" between him and the Reikland Reavers, including Griff, it was decided Morg would be playing for the team in their follow up match. By certain convenience, the original Reikland Reavers lawsuit which required the Middenheim Meatgrinders to pay off "damages" was also dropped.

For the final game, Morg N Thorg fought alongside the Middenheim Meatgrinders against a powerful and particularly noxious Nurgle team. Although he was injured in the first half, the efforts of both Morg and the team allowed them to come away with a 1-1 draw. The team was, lack of a better word, exasperated over the result.

Following this result, the team has decided to go on hiatus. The Middenheim Meatgrinders reached the infamous heights of fame they longed for thanks to the help of the numerous Star Players they recruited. Most notably, Morg N Thorg, Helmut Wulf as well as Griff Oberwald and Mighty Zug. Coach Kordeff has decided to take an extended holiday while the players of the Middenheim Meatgrinders have chosen to go their separate ways. While they did not quite reach the legendary status of the likes of the Reavers, they have recently appeared in news Columns affectionately referred to as "The Middenheim Morg Meatgrinders".

No comment was provided from the Reikland Reavers or Griff Oberwald but reports state that the legend himself is a little bit more than simply furious over the developments.

Current Players
Past Players

Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
7 3 3 8
  12 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 90k
7 3 3 8
Guard, Tackle
  14 0 0 0 0 4 20/ 130k
7 3 4 8
  2 1 1 0 1 0 6/ 130k
7 3 3 8
Mighty Blow, Dodge, Sure Feet, +AV, Guard
-av, m 60 0 5 0 18 5 76/ 220k
5 5 2 9
Bone-head, Loner, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate
  3 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 140k
6 3 3 8   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
9 2 4 7
Catch, Dodge
Block, +AG, Nerves Of Steel, +MA, Sure Feet, Sprint
  67 5 48 0 0 6 Legend
8 2 3 7
Catch, Dodge
Block, Sure Feet, Nerves Of Steel
  27 1 3 0 0 6 40/ 130k
6 3 3 8   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
6 3 3 8
  22 0 0 0 1 1 7/ 70k
6 3 3 7 -av 18 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
6 3 3 8
Dirty Player
n, m 13 0 0 0 0 2 10/ 70k
Journeyman Lineman
6 3 3 8
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
10 players (+2 players missing next game)  
Coach: Wolbum Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Human Fan Factor: 7  
Current Team Value: 1380k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 0k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1670k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:70 (26/20/24) |TD Diff:13 (96 - 83) |Cas Diff:-119 (56/37/14 - 131/65/30)
Last Opponent: Death Disease and Bad Breath