Donnuh is not just mad, she’s Burning Up. Well-travelled and always on Holiday, Donnuh is one Lucky Star. She is Borderline depressed, Like A Virgin. She met a Material Girl in her youth, but never really got Into The Groove with their relationship. She became a semi-professional Gambler, but after a series of big losses was lucky to Live To Tell her tale. Scolded by her father for her poor choices, Donnuh responded “Papa, Don’t Preach”. Donnuh was desperate for a life changing event, Like A Prayer. Her mother, Argentina would weep for her daughter often. The only response she could muster would be to tell her, “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.”
She opened a bakery, called American Pie. Donnuh had a unique way of dealing with shoplifters. She would remove the thief’s fingers, but never outright kill them. They would Die Another Day. Repeat offenders would be Hung Up in the shop window.
Anyway, now she plays Blood Bowl for some reason.

'Pointy Madge' was so inspired during the absolute bloodfest of what is being commonly referred to as 'the game where we killed 3 elves' (my condolences to the Caledor Patriots), that her subsequent ability to maim, dismember and wallop noticeably improved. +Block

'The Queen of Pop(ping out arm sockets)' is nothing if not an envious madam. "Anything vamps can do, I can do better!" So inspired by Sparklemotion's Ecart's strength during their final day matchup, and never one to be outdone, Donnuh hit the gym (and a fair few gobbos as well) to match her toe to toe in the playoff rematch. Dem gunz tho... +ST

Miff has been told from an early age that he is a son of the gods. He claims he was snatched as a baby by Hurdeez and forced to live among mortals as a half-man, half-god. Now a teenager, Miff thinks he needs to perform a rite of passage on Orcland to prove himself worthy of living with the gods on Mount Ullympus. Miff believes his opponents are a series of evil creatures that he must defeat to prove himself worthy.
Unfortunately this story is complete nonsense. A lie told to him by his mother as an orcling in order to make him eat his squeens. Nobody tell him though. He’ll be well miffed.

Genuinely believing Talons of Horus Ogre 'Thunderfist' to be the Miffological God of the Underparts 'Heydeez Nutz', Miff called upon all the powers of the 50 pantones of Greyskullz, and vowed to never be outblocked again. +Block

As the old saying goes, 'Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to rip tear and disembowel his enemies and he'll eat for a lifetime'. Miff doesn't like fish, but he does like disembowelment. So the saying is almost relevant in this case. And, now he will even try to teach others. In the middle of a game, no less. +Guard

Born into a family of miners, Skold was raised in the pitch black mines under Orcland. He always refused the use of picks, instead preferring to tear rocks from the walls with his bare hands. Following the untimely death of his brother, Zerrand, in an unfortunate cave in, Skold left the mines to roam the overworld. After a brief unsuccessful attempt to be a seafaring pyrite, he was found by Da Oldz Cruel GM Genurul Bombad. Swiftly recruited to the team to use his rock ripping strength on the opposition.

Sick to death of Makemake War (aren't we all?) and their absolute abundance of Chaos Dwarf Blockers, Skold was like "Nah". The subsequent training session resulted in the most productive mining month in Orcland history. Plus all that wall bashing is a transferable skill to the pitch. Lucky, lucky! (but not for his opponents). +Block

All his life Fuel had been called 'Dodgy'. He never truly knew what it meant until he saw a giant Dwarf lawnmower screaming towards him at full pelt. In a rare moment of zen he moved out of the way instead of trying to punch it. Forevermore Fuel will be known as dodgy - by both definitions of the term. +Dodge

Appearances can be deceptive. On the outside, Teezuh appears soft and smooth. Rest assured, his centre is hollow and crunchy. From an early age, Teezuh ‘Revels’ in the glorious sport of Blood Bowl, describing the sport as “The lighter way to enjoy violence”.

Speaking of light, throwing a load of KGG NLF's around allowed Teezuh to reach an enlightening revelation - "The majority of my opponents are smaller in stature than I, and therefore I can exploit this advantageous opportunity in order to better dominate them in the future". Well, what he actually thought was "Hur hur, tiny, squish better", but same difference really. +Block

You want the time of your life? So did Danzink. Da Oldz Cruel’s star blitzer loves the sport, loves the violence, and loves been lifted above Patrick Swayze’s head. Just don’t put him in a corner. He doesn’t like that very much.

It's hard to dance when people are watching. It even harder to dance when surrounded by tentacles, freakish nurgle abominations and anthropomorphic rams that are looking to murder you any chance they get. Heeding the advice of his good friend Patrick Swayze, he carried a watermelon. Oh and he also learned to dance better. +AG

After another brutal 3 kill bloodbath against the Asgard Renegades, Danzink completely misinterpreted his teammates when they suggested celebrations at a local 'strip' club. At least his time was spent productively. +Strip Ball

He sees nothing.

After playing the Asgard Renegades, the Evull brothers were invited to a garden party with some of the locals. Unfortunately, Zeeno cannot spell and, thinking he was attending a 'Guarding' party, spent the entire night assaulting anyone who dares venture to close to the buffet table. Now, if the situation is just right (and if he pictures his teammates as Vol-au-vents), he can help out his struggling allies on the field. +Guard

The big game: An opportunity to avenge last seasons varmpiric nonsenses, get one over on Commissioner Dongfan Trollswithbewbs, AND squish some elves? It appeared the stars were aligned for a lovely bit of business. And what does Zeeno go and do? He learns how to punch 'arder AFTER the final whistle... +Mighty Blow

He, errrr, tastes nothing?

I dunno. Brought in to replace the permanently retired 'Ereno', and ultimately ruining the whole 'Evull Brothers' bit...

He says nothing.

A stunning realisation hit upon Evull P during the tough match with Makemake War. "If I had moved out of the way of that rampaging half horse mutant's fists, I wouldn't be in so much pain right now". Perhaps seemingly obvious to you or I, but this is a real moment of personal growth for an Orc. Subsequent training sessions allowed Evull P to hone this previously unheard of tactic by eluding thrown wrenches. Initially he was dubbed 'Elf-boy' by his uneducated teammates, and mocked for his 'Pansy strats'. Though, since most of those teammates have been trampled into the Astrogranite relentlessly since, he is now seen as somewhat of a mystical presence in the team, with all hoping to one day learn from the 'Altar of Avoidance'. +Dodge

In DOC's first and probably last appearance in the playoffs, the green skinned boyz were run rampant. A combination of unbreakable Thralls and seemingly vegan Vamps was brutal once again. One minute they're there, the next they're a bat. Then they reappear again right behind you. Seems cowardly to me. Punch or don't punch! None of this hypnotism nonsense! Paranoia creeping through the ranks, Peekno vowed to keep eyes in the back of his head forevermore. Never again. Never again... +Guard

Buttowell likes to think of himself as a bit of a ladies man, but he absolutely is not. “Disappointing”, “short”, “unsatisfactory” and “just plain weird” is just some of the feedback Buttowell has received. And I’m not talking about his Flea-Bay account.
Thankfully for Da Oldz Cruel, he is a better player than he is a ‘player’. Team captain, and the only player on the team who has been trained to pay attention to the ball, Buttowell is critical to DOC’s chances of winning a game this season. At least by the generally accepted rules of TDs instead of CAS.

It took exactly one game, against Ad ams Family, for Badshag to realise that if he wanted to survive the BB pitch, then he didn't necessarily need to be fastest on the team, he just had to ensure he wasn't the slowest. I guess being chased by golems, werewolves and literal zombies will do that to you. Sorry linemen, this Thrower is outta here. +MA

An embarrassingly long 4 games later, Badshag (at the time head placed precariously beneath a Dwarf's cleat) realised that perhaps speed wasn't enough, and that actually he better toughen up a little too. Worryingly he hasn't scored since, and his new "Swoles Before Goals" mantra is certainly a concern for the wider team as a whole, and has directly corresponded to a downturn in team fortunes. Will this poser be usurped by new upstart Thrower Baxx next season? *SPOILERS* No - Baxx got the sack! +Block

Fed up of a boring office job at company ‘Lipps Inc.’ Keetown pusued his love of music. Creating what is widely regarded as the best song ever, Keetown fell into a life of addiction. Not of drugs, nor alcohol. Keetown became addicted to mosh pits. The weirdest thing is there were no mosh pits at his gigs, until he made them. This addiction to violence developed into a promising Blood Bowl career.

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Whether in the bedroom, the boardroom or even in the great outdoors, you always have to make time for this Troll. He likes it rough, he likes it gentle. He'll take it any which way he can get it. A prominent force in his early 20s, he has, admittedly, dropped off a lot. Some say marriage was the death of him, some say it was the kids what did him in. But he's always there. Watching. Waiting. ready to pounce at a moments notice. All you gotta do is ask...

Oh Tikkul! We are so proud. Only two games into his career, against the undead of Hollywouldnt, and Tikkul worked out that is he doesn't look out for his mates, then there will be no-one left conscious to tell him who to try to eat next. Most Trolls go an entire lifetime without working out this rather critical life skill. A real boon for all involved! Well done Tikkul! +Guard