"Man, I am sick and tired if everybody around here always talkin' like Bubba the best saurus on the team just because he got the most kills. This ain't some kinda miniatures battle here, okay? This ain't a war. This is a sport. This is football. And it ain't just about how many people you kill. Okay? It's also about how many people you seriously injure, how many poeple you badly hurt, how many people you knock out. So if you wanna see who's the best player on the team, you have to take into account all different kinds of casualties. Just check the stats, man!

But what I'm tryin ta say is that when you come back interviewin us next time, it's gonna be 'Bubba who?' right? Get it? Bubba who? Yeah, that's right! Who got the MVP this game, huh? Leroy, that's who! Who's gettin' the MVP from now on? Who's the saurus with the skills? That's right, baby! It's time for everybody to get on board the Leroy train! Woooooo-Woooooo!!!"


Kills: Quetipazo (amazon linewoman)
Geronimoooo (goblin)

One of the most stalwart members of the team, Homer has earned a reputation for never giving up. "Hangin' with Homer" has become a phrase that the skinks use to mean being one of the handful of Comets players left on the pitch toward the end of a rough game: "You were getting carried off the field, but I was hangin' with Homer".

June 9 05: Homer provided what was perhaps the only bright point in the Comets' infamous 14th game, when he killed the skaven lineman SeaRat Ves'kik.

"Yeah, and with the new lineup I'm on the line right in between Bubba and Leroy, so I get to listen to those mental midgets run their mouths between every single play. When I'm the guy who almost got us the win here. It was like me and Homer and some skink left on the field, here! While big bad Bubba's knocked out the whole *@*(*#( game and comes back for like the last kick. So, no, I don't really think the problem is that the team underspent on fan factor. I think the problem is that they seriously overspent on a bunch of pussies and prima donnas like Elmer and Leroy and Bubba and seriously underspent on guys like me who are carryin this team. I mean, you need a microscope to see my paycheck."

Homer's younger brother. Like Homer, Hubert is known for his staying power.

June 11 05: Hubert was standing in the right place at the right time when his brother Homer blitzed the opposing ball carrier, chaos warrior Mordred the Black, and the ball simply popped into Hubert's hands. Moments later, Hubert became the only saurus in Comets history to score a touchdown.

Goob is the fastest player on the team and one of the Comets' top scorers. As amazingly fast as he is, he is yet more famous for his elaborate and annoying touchdown dances, which have been known to disrupt the game for as long as 3 minutes before he could be dragged off the field by his teammates or angry spectators.

In the Comets' 7th game, Goob actually killed a vampire who tried to stand between him and the end zone. The ensuing touchdown dance was truly a thing to behold.

In the Comets' 8th game, Goob was taken out of the game with a smashed collar bone after an amazon blitzer laid an unbelievably vicious hit on him. The crowd went wild.

Goob's injuries also include a gouged eye received from the human blitzer Tyrone Shedrick in the Comets' 1st game, and broken ribs inflicted by the orc blitzer Bosch during the team's very bloody 13th game.

Despite his injuries, Goob remains the fastest player ever to take the field either for or against the Comets. He certainly doesn't look right anymore, however. His right eye, though functional, has a permanent and hideous discoloration. His mangled ribs bulge under his skin at bizarre angles, and his left arm now dangles in a creepy way when he runs. His touchdown dances have become grotesque mockeries of art.

Nickname: Dangerlizard

Lester has been described as the "Evil Knievel of skinks". He had his right leg fractured by the dwarf longbeard Ze in the Comets' fourth game, and his collarbone was smashed in the Comets' 13th game as he tried to dodge away from the Orc blitzer Bosch. Despite his injuries, Lester continues to be a very scrappy skink, often fighting his way right into the middle of the action in games.

"Will someone please give me the *@*%*#! ball?"

Well, Boog finally got his wish. In the Comets' 9th game, playing the dwarf team Moreg Clash, Boog finally got the ball. Within seconds of picking it up, he was tripped up as he attempted to dodge past the dwarf blitzer Gloin Hammer, and now carries a niggling pinched nerve as a reminder of his 4 seconds of ball-handling glory.

Fritz had his leg fractured in the Comets' first game against the human team Heat Lightning. Two games later, he watched in horror as two of the Comets' other skinks were killed by amazons. Fritz is a jumpy individual who walks around mumbling to himself a lot. In games, he mostly tries to stay as far away from the ball as possible. When handed the ball, he runs in wide-eyed horror (and with amazing speed) to the only place of safety on the pitch, the end zone.

Joining the team after their first game, "the jet" quickly became the Comets' scoring leader, aided in part by the fact that Chester, one of his biggest scoring rivals on the team, met a gruesome end at the hands of a chaos dwarf.

Jethro has since been passed by Goob as the Comets' top scorer.

"No, that is completely wrong. I did not try to trip Goob as he was about to score a touchdown. Anyone who saw it will tell you that. Just because the team's top scorer gets a big salary bonus, and just because Goob is just one touchdown ahead of me - I mean, is it one touchdown? I don't keep track, really - anyway, I would never try to trip Goob, I didn't even know Goob was there, what I was trying to do was block the beastman who was right behind Goob so Goob could score, anyone who saw it will tell you that..."

May 7 05: Jethro has once again passed Goob as top scorer during a game which Goob had to sit out following his collar bone injury. In the end zone, Jethro is reported to have made "shooting gestures" towards Goob on the sideline. Jethro denies this.

May 26 05: Jethro's neck was broken by the orc blitzer Bosch shortly after Jethro scored the first touchdown in the Comets' 13th game. The injury has affected Jethro's game, but he remains the team's top scorer.

"Dumber than a sackfull of doorknobs" - Slaar, Comets' head coach

Big Buford made his debut in the Comets' 8th game against the Amazon team Akhylena Fult. In this game, Buford made quite an impression by failing 3 of his 6 bonehead rolls. However, what he lacks in IQ, he makes up for in both size and ferocity.

"It was my very first pro game. We were getting ready to face the dwarf team Moreg Clash. We knew this was a tough team and we were all a litle nervous, me especially, when suddenly a freakin' death-roller rolls onto the pich! The whistle blew and that thing started heading towards us. I'm telling you if you haven't been in this situation you can't imagine the terror. The size of the thing and dear God the unbelievable noise! Boog and I were running for our lives, zig-zagging in front of it, we almost ran into each other, I thought I was gonna die. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Buford just lets out this growl and hits the thing so hard that it flips over on its side and explodes. I love Buford." - Red, Comets player (died one game later)