Stella by name.. useless by nature. In 75 appearences and after throwing 214 blocks Stella has picked up just four casualties. She has also picked up a niggle. Stella has a legendary fear of getting hurt and constantly is 'KO'd' Stunned, niggled and anything else to avoid making a positive contribution. However her father owns a substantial stake in the franchise and fans can look forward to Stella fun for many matches.

When asked about her poor performances, Stella has simply stated that she is 'doing her best'. The coach will be seeing how well she does starting drives next to minos, mummies, ogres, trolls and vampires in the next few games. Recently Stella has started to improve (slightly). And has amassed a few casualties. Here are the four Bloodbowlers who have gained such ignominious fame.

<a href="http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=4210466">Avalanche</a>, A Black Orc Blocker (SI,m,n)

<a href="http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=3556514">Tvurin</a>, A Dwarf Longbeard (SI,m)

<a href="http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php? page=player&player_id=4551470">Henio</a>, A Human Linesman (SI,m,-Av)

<a href="http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=4431870">Crystal Leaf</a>, A High Elf Lion Warrior (BH)


***STELLA WATCH***

*Games 1-13 - Stella was a promising recruit with no following in these games its only after people realised how bad she is that Stella Watch was started. Basically Stella did nothing of note in these games.

*Game 14 - In the great Beedog wipeout, despite being on from the start, Stella manages to get away without a single sp. However is awarded the MVP for being the only player left on the pitch.

*Game 15 - 9 man Beedogs take the pitch and scrape an unlikely win against the skaven. Despite the heroics, Stella does nothing.

*Game 16 - Stella scores... Thats right, scores against some dark elves. Its a huge acheivement and the crowd goes wild.

*Game 17 - Stella does nothing but manage to seriously injure herself trying to block on turn 16.

*Game 18 - After a game out with her self inflicted heroics, Stella returns to the lineup in a momentus 4-1 Beedog victory. Stella does nothing, but is seen standing aimlessly scratching her ass.

*Game 19 - Despite throwing 7 namby pamby blocks Stella fails to make any impact. Possibly this is due to the 10Kilos of bubble wrap she has wrapped herself in to avoid getting hurt. However Stella is awarded the mvp when an orc runs for the line and trips on a discarded bit of padding Stella left on the field.

*Game 20 - Stella spends most of the game unconcious. No change from the normal play.

*Game 21 - Stella does her normal thing of getting KO'd on turn 3 and then does not rouse herself until turn 14. With time ticking down Stella goes for the ball that has landed right next to her and picks it up. The crowd hold their breath, Stella trys a pass and.... Fails as she shovels it about a yard away from the expected target. Another typical Stella day.

*Game 22 - Its a victory for the Beedogs, but Stella's main contribution was trying to avoid doing anything too strenuous. No real contribution today.

*Game 23 - Stella does very little vs the orcs sitting around and whining about not getting KO'd, every time she is hit she stays down stunned.

*Game 24 - The elves smell Stella's fear of blocks and target her, yet again proving ingenious at not getting injured Stella spends the game mincing around not helping.

*Game 25 - Beedogs take the orcs and in a very difficult first half Stella runs about trying to avoid being tackled by a Black Orc. The performance is dire but there is an evergrowing vocal Stella fanclub in the crowd and a cheer comes up whenever Stella is involved.

*Game 26 - Despite a niggling injury preventing Stella from taking the pitch at all during the entire match, Stella is awarded the MVP under the new Fans Voting System. Rumours of bribes and vote rigging fly about the stadium, investigations are called for but the result stands. With her winnings Stella buys herself some 'boots of running' (away) from a travelling gnome. Fans can look forward to some speedy Stella antics next game.

*Game 27 - Bad loss for the dogs, Stella is KO'd on turn 2 and remains on the bench recovering until turn 14. With time running out Stella has a chance to wow the fans and take out the ball carrier. Needless to say her feeble efforts amount to nothing and the game is lost.

*Game 28 - Stop the presses.... Stella today got her first casualty, a Dwarf Longbeard. The longbeard took one look at Stella and said in a gruff manner, comon then give me your best shot. Stella slipped, reached out her hand and poked the dwarf squarely in both eyes. As her nails had been newly manicured the damage was enough to make the dwarf leave the field. On the very next drive the dwarves incensed by the antics of Stella whooping and winding up the crowd rushed her and seriously injured her, the crowd await news but Stella will certainly not be playing in the next match.

*Game 29 - With only 9 players on the pitch Stella is given the role of captain for the game to try to gee her up and put on an insperational performance. Predictibly Stella does almost nothing during the game but does spend a lot of time admiring the captains armband. Stella is yet again awarded the MVP for her antics as she ponces around like a fool, its what the fans want apparently.

Game 30 - With a win against the dwarves, Stella has the captaincy stripped off her, as Beedogs fall to the left and right of her Stella spritley dances through the lines making no positive contribution whatsoever. No MVP for Stella today apparently its only funny for so long.

Game 31 - Today the crowd were amazed as Stella made a completion on the pitch, yes an actual throw that found one of her own players. Of course the player in question was swiflty surrounded and then carried off the pitch, but it doesn't matter to Stella. Once again awarded the MVP Stella goes on an intensive course of dancing lessons further increasing her nimbleness.

Game 32 - Stella has taken her throwing responsibilties very seriously and grabs the ball straight off the bat, with a thrower in scoring position Stella is certain to provide a winning play, and fluffs it. She gets up again, dodges through, grabs the ball... and fluffs it. She is then thrown into the crowd, fortunately due to her cult status she is actually given a seat rather than torn apart and is seen sipping an Appletini in the stands. Upon her return, Stella runs around avoiding rampaging Bull centaurs.

Game 33 - Stella's Game of Glory - By the law of averages sooner or later everyone will have a good day. In a world of infinite possibilities the incredible can and does happen. The day started as normal for Stella, a failed pass, an avoided block. But suddenly it all came good, Stella scored running in a touchdown. Sure she stumbled and had her coaches heart in his mouth but there it is. She then amazed the crowd by not only intercepting a pass but then completing it to a teammate. Rumors of performance enhancing drugs and bribes are rampant but for the moment Stella is on top of the world.

Game 34 - Exausted by her exertions, Stella decides she'd rather sit the next game out and spends the entire game sitting on the bench telling everyone how great she was last game.

Game 35 - Stella still says shes a bit tired after her exertions, she spends the time sketching out ideas for a new fragrance "Essence of Stella".

Game 36 - Still no appearence by Stella and she lets her 9 teammates take the field as she signs an autobiography deal. The fans are starting to wonder what has happened to her.

Game 37 - Stella returns to the lineup after her prolonged absence and manages a score against some DE. But only after the rest of her team agree to put a cage of bodies round her so she does not have to make any contact with any opposing player. Still a score is a score and Stella and her fans are jubilent.

Game 38 - Stella decides she will play for a second time in two games, the start is held up for an hour as fans mob the turnstiles to get a glimpse before a particuarly mean Black Orc restores order by decapitating 17 unruly fans. After that there is a very orderly queue. However despite the huge interest Stella spends most of the game tripping up and failing to contribute.

Game 39 - Stella again takes the field and this time is given the ball from the start, despite this, she fails to do a great deal and complains that no one really loves her on the team. Hordes of fans and flunkies protest declaring their undying devotion (literally in the case of one vampire). Stella is awarded the MVP by unanimous fans vote despite making no effect on the game. Stella does however pass 100 rush and 100 'Blocks'

Game 40 - Stella comes on to the field to rapturous applause, the stewards struggle to hold back the crowd and Stella does not dissapoint today. Striding towards the strongest Black orc on the field Stella makes a disparaging remark about a lewd moment with a couple of snotilings. The Orc raises a huge hand to smash Stella flat, Stella spins nimbly out of the way and the orc smashes his fist straight into a rock on the ground, smashing his hand in the process. Stella seeing the Orc in pain gives him a swift kick in the nuts and he goes down. A recorded casualty for Stella. The crowd goes wild and Stella bathes in their awe. Later in the game Stella saw some of the orcs trying to take revenge, chucked the ball to someone else (a completion in the process) and was promptly knocked out for the rest of the game.

Game 41 - Stella decides to sit this one out, after all shes just done a casualty to someone and it is dangerous out on the pitch. Instead she sits modelling her new sunglasses as she watches her teammates take a kicking.

Game 42 - Stella takes to the pitch but really doesn't do more than hang around signing autographs and admiring her golden trainers. Some of her teammates are heard to mutter, "You've changed man, it used to be about the game, for you its just about the fame." Will these comments have an effect on Stella. Only time will tell.

Game 43 - Stella is up to her old tricks again and decides not to turn up for the game. However she is photographed by a sneaky gnome paparratzi in bed with what appear to be two of the Beedogs bouncers engaging in what looks like some very 'strenuous' activity. As Stella's fame increases the interest in her grows and grows.

Game 44 - Stella runs around the pitch frantically trying to get involved before an elf trips her up as she passes, Stella collapses clutching her knee... its bent at an angle thats not pretty. "Is there a doctor in the house rings the magically assisted tannoy?" No less than 17 quacks, priests, shamans, witch doctors, apocotharies and clerics run from the stands to tend Stella who makes a full recovery.

Game 45 - Stella has a weird game today, suddenly she sees herself as pivitol to the teams game plan. She dodges around the pitch and in an attempt to tackle her a linesman has to be stretchered off. However the new style Stella costs the team dear, Stella attempts a TD pass, and fails, she attempts a pickup to score, and fails, she tries to dodge and is seriously injured. Fortunately an entire wing of physicians is lined up to deal with the slightly bruised rib. Finally the ogre of the human team gets pissed off with the dicking around and slams a meaty fist into Stella sending her scurrying for the dugout badly hurt.

Game 46 - Stella plays well and even stays on the pitch for the whole game, to be fair it because shes playing against some elves who seem even less keen to get into a rumble than Stella. Stella and the elves spend most of the game like two positively charged magnets running away every time they come close to each other. In the course of this a supremely poncy lion warrior and Stella smack into each other trying to avoid the ball and the lion warrior is badly hurt (broken nail). Stella, filled with amazement picks up the ball and wonders over the line for a touchdown. She spends the next three hours telling everyone how she has learned how to 'block' and buys herself a golden hat as a treat for doing so well.

Game 47 - Stella looks out onto the pitch and sees the orcs arrayed, a quick call to her lawyer and suddenly she is unable to play because of threat of a personal injury claim. The management are forced to let her sit this one out.

Game 48 - The new season begins, and the Beedog management have wisely signed Stella to a new contract based on her apperances. Stella takes to the pitch to wild applause. Stella wonders over to the sidelines and signs autographs while the game goes on around her. People are getting her to sign everything, their chests, tentacles, horns, programmes and balls. A ball is handed to Stella which she signs and wonders up the line. The crowd go nuts. Without realising it the ball that Stella signed was a handoff from a teammate and she has scored a touchdown. A jubliant day for Stella fans.

Game 49 - Stella has a new tactic to avoid injury today, staying well back from the action and acting as a thrower though she fumbbles a few pick ups, a couple of limp wristed tosses manage to find there way to compatriots as they scurry around frantically after the poor throws. Yet its a Beedog victory and Stella organises a parade in her own honour.

Game 50 - It's Stella's 50th game and huge celebrations mark the occassion the size of the crowd reaching into the thousands. Bookmakers are throwing themselves from windows after realising that they will have to pay out to people who bet that Stella would never last this long. On the field Stella does not disappoint. Legging it away from the skaven, chucking the ball to anyone else but her. As the Beedog ranks start to thin, Stella realises its actually safer in the opponents half. The ball flies into the crowd who quickly toss it among themselves to get the ball to their hero, Stella takes the ball, poses for a quick photo and meanders across the line for a score.

Game 51 - Its all got a bit much for Stella who begs off the game pleading exaustion.

Game 52 - Stella gets on the pitch... briefly. A quick run around the pitch and a blitzer trips Stella up who goes down whining like a Premiership footballer. Stella spends 75% of the game on the bench leaving the Beedogs to pick up the win with 10 men.

Game 53 - Stella, having seen the demise of 5 of her team-mates over the past few games decides to step up to the plate today, after all some of the new guys on the team seem as shakey as she is. Stella runs away from the rats...especially that Ogre who seems to have it in for her. Stella manages to score when her colleagues say it is a good way to get away from the action. Stella breaks for the line with a Rat Ogre in pursuit but manages to outdistance the ravenous beast. The crowd shout Stella's name all night.

Game 54 - Despite a good win for the Beedogs its another pathetic game for Stella tripping up despite her nimbleness and then saying that she will stay at the back to mark anyone who gets through. Really her time is spent lying on the grass making daisy chains.

Game 55 - Stella decides she will have a full entrance today and is carried in on a palaquin with fireworks, dancers and all the trimmings. On the pitch she almost does an adequate job, just fumbbling one pickup and making a couple of throws. Of course it helps that by the time she gets to the ball there are only 8 woodelves left on the field.

Game 56 - Accolades continue to be heaped on Stella who today becomes the Beedogs first ever Superstar. Crowds of adoring fans strew her path with ermine cloaks dyed in Beedog colours. A full regiment of police stand by to keep back the adoring spectators. On the pitch Stella manages to fail to grab the ball on her own touchline but manages to toss it to a teammate before the opposition bears down on her. Finally with most of the opposition out of the game, Stella is carried over the line to rapturous applause as she she thinks the ground might be a 'bit muddy'. For Stella's superstardom she is sent on an intense tackling course so she can pick on Bloodbowlers even weaker than she.

Game 57 - Stella doesn't get much involved in the game today, after all those Rotters look a bit icky and Stella has just had her designer clothes updated. Stella spends most of the game attempting to avoid the action and admiring herself.

Game 58 - Stella has worked out that she does not get paid if she does not take to the field, but if she is 'hurt' after a couple of minutes then she can relax in the dugout. The first time an elf comes near her she flings herself to the ground like a premiership footballer and slinks off the field not to return.

Game 59 - Stella trys to play her heart out against some High Elves, figuring going for the ball might be the only thing to stop the blitzers trying to smack her to the ground. She gets into position to make the crucial block and fluffs it being sent flying into the crowd and her helmet jamming onto her head crushing her helmet into her £1000 hairdo. Stella states she refuses to wear the helmet any more, a wise decsion? We shall see.

Game 60 - It's a good game for Stella as she passes to a couple of teammates and even scores... of course it helps shes mutated an extra head after some particually potent chaos magic in the air. One of the heads is able to admire herself while the other plays. It also helps that her teammates have decimated the dwarves they are facing.

Game 61 - Smashed down but adoring fans that invaded the pitch before she even started, Stella picks herself up and spends the rest of the game going long... her new plan to avoid the action while maybe hogging a bit of glory, needless to say the experiment is not a success as Stella's poncing antics thrill the crowd but not her teammates.

Game 62 - The Beedogs come up against a particually mean and vicious Chaos team, Stella runs around handing the ball off in the first half but the chaos team recognise something they would like to display as a trophy, Stella herself, Stella is KO'd by a kick to the head, then limps back on to the pitch to swoon and stay in the Ko'd box for the rest of the game.

Game 63 - Playing woodelves is far more Stella's style, though she actually has to be pushed into the end zone by the opposition in a struggle to get the ball. As the number of elves on the pitch diminishes Stella decides to take it easy, sitting on the grass and making daisy chains.

Game 64 - Chaos Dwarves today and Stella simply falls down the first time a dwarf comes near her and beckons for the streacher bearers to whisk her away to safety. Spending the rest of the game unrousable in the KO box, some fans swore that they could see her eyes flickering open.

Game 65 - Up against Boese Boese one of the top teams in the league, a team rated twice as highly as the beedogs and 498 places ahead of them in the league Stella plays her heart out, throwing herself at the ball carrier time after time. Unfortunately her blocks are pretty much inneffective and the Beedogs go down to a noble and narrow defeat.

Game 66 - Exausted by her efforts Stella claims her niggles are acting up today and they can't take to the pitch. However the Beedogs have ammassed a considerable cash reserve in the bank. They send for Christer, a renowned wizard with the power to heal anyone. He gives Stella a potion to drink and her injuries vanish. This will be the last time Stella uses a niggle as an excuse.

Game 67 - The Warpstone Open begins against some tough ogres, looking at the wall of meat before her, Stella quakes in her boots and chucks the ball as far a way as possible while saying she will stay back to cover the end zone. The fans in the stands start singing a Stella chant led by Blizzt95.

"There was once a beedog named Stella,
who the players thought was a fella.
She took off her clothes,
to give the guys a show,
there's no doubt anymore, I tell ya."

Game 68 - The dark elves line up against the Beedogs Stella seems syked up for the match. The crucial play comes along, Stella dodges, she flys down the field with the elves hot on her heels. The ball sails gracefully through the air and bounces straight of Stellas gloves. The Beedogs exit the Warpstone Open.

Game 69 - Playing some woodelves Stella thinks she can get stuck into the action, her blocks don't even faze them and she slips and goes down. An elf with lethally sharp bark protruding from his sandels seriously injure Stella but the apothacary is on hand to see her safe.

Game 70 - Humans today and with some of the Beedogs best players missing the game Stella needs to (Wo)man up and take some responsibility. She says she will go after the catchers and hangs around waiting for them to run past her and then flailing wildly trying to trip them up. With the Beedogs down 2-3 in the final minutes the ref calls for injury time. The ball lands all the way in the Beedogs end zone with only Stella in range to make a crucial pass to give the Beedogs any hope. A crunch is heard up field and all eyes turn to the source of the blood. Suddenly the ball is majestically flying through the air landing perfectly in the hands of the catcher who manages a superb score. Stella is seen celebrating in her own end zone. After the game she is seen leaving with Fro'de the retired orc star and one of the best throwers of all time. No one is saying Stella didn't throw that ball but... For now at least Stella is jubilent.

Game 71 - With a grudge match against those pesky woodies the Beedogs do a stirling job, smashing them down and leaving only one on the pitch. The Beedogs surround the catcher with the ball and hold him down inviting the ultimate ignomy of Stella to administer the beats. Stella smashes into the catcher assisted by her team mates, she falls down flat, Stella trys again but this time the catcher squirms free and uses Stella as a platform to spring free of the scrum. With ball in hand he sprints for the line turning a perfect game into a loss. Not Stella's best day.

Game 72 - Up against the famous Hellfish the beedogs look confident and so they are after putting an ogre to the boot early in the game. Stella ponces her way through the game, even knocking out a catcher at one point. With the beedogs holding back the players Stella wonders down the pitch for a score. Near the end of the game with the match well won, Stella insists that the Beedogs lay into a pumped up muscular thrower on the ground in case he trys to block her. To their shame the Beedogs comply knocking out the prone Hellfish. Stella really is legendarily scared of pain but its a black mark against the Bees. While people would be talking about Stella passing 100spps they are insted talking about the foul.

Game 73 - Stella is about to take the field when two hired goons grab her and whip her off to the cells, crys echo down the tunnel shouting 'IT WASN'T MEEEEEEEEEE'

Game 74 - Vs the Darkies Stella takes the field having escaped the hired goons by use of a small stuffed jellyfish, a hairpin, two tubes of condensed milk and a fire extinguisher. On the pitch her adventures are less entertaining with Stella's ineffectual nonsence par for the course.