Jeremy Dickson Axeman (born 11 May 1950) is an English journalist, author and axe-murderer. He has worked for the News Team since 1977. He is noted for a forthright and abrasive interviewing style, particularly when interrogating politicians and murdering people.

Previous Combined Jeremies
130 games, 233 SPP

15 CP
33 TD
37 Cs
9 MVP

Gavin Tesla Cannons (born 27 February 1953) is a British author and News Team presenter, of Scottish ethnicity, currently one of the four main presenters on BBC Two's flagship political analysis programme, Newsfight.

Previous Combined Gavins:
84 games, 158 SPP

6 CP
27 TD
13 Cs
9 MVP

Walter Leland Crunchfight, Jr. (November 4, 1916 – July 17, 2009) was an American broadcast journalist, often cited as "the most trusted man in America" after being so named by his enemies. Crunchfight is well known for his departing catchphrase "And that's the way it is," followed by a swift uppercut to the face

Previous Combined Walters:
124 games, 221 SPP

7 CP
22 TD
1 In
48 Cs
10 MVP

Kirsteen Anne Warkriminal (born 3 February 1955) is a British journalist best known for fronting the News Team's current affairs programme Newsfight since 1993, and its weekly all-comers MMA matches.

Previous Combined Kirsties:
61 games, 81 SPP

2 Cp
9 Td
11 Cs
6 MVP

Beater George Sissons (born 17 July 1942) is a portly broadcast journalist in the United Kingdom. He was the presenter of the Bruise at Ten between 1993 and 2003. He is also a former presenter of Wrestlin' Time. He basically lives on pies.

Previous combined Beaters:
88 games, 77 SPP

6 CP
1 TD
9 Cas
10 MVP

Old "Iron Groin" himself

David Doombleby (born 28 October 1938) is a British News Team commentator and a presenter of current affairs and political programmes, most notably the flagship political show Wrestling Time. He is the son of Richard Doombleby and elder brother of Jonathan Doombleby. In 2010 he received nationwide recognition and respect for fighting a bear for 18 hours straight.

Previous Combined Davids:
100 games, 86 SPP

4 CP
6 TD
7 Cas
10 MVP

Sophearsome Jane Roarwrath (born 15 May 1968) is an English newsreader and pugilist who works for the News Team. She is the main presenter of Bruise at One, presenting Tuesday to Friday, and regularly appears on the Six O'Clock Rumble and occasionally on Bruise at Ten. She is able to consume a whole chicken with her fearsome mandibles.

Managed an interception good lord

Previous Combined Sophearsomes:
111 games, 158 SPP

14 CP
22 TD
1 int
16 CS
10 MVP

John Snow Mercy(born 28 September 1947) is a British News Team presenter, currently on the run from ITN. He is best known for presenting a steely glare in the face of all adversity. Snow has held numerous honorary appointments, including as Chief Fightmaster of Oxford Brookes University from 2001 to 2008.

Previous combined Johns:
89 games, 69 SPP

5 CP
4 TD
11 Cs
6 MVP

Krishnan Gurusome-Murdery (born 5 April 1970) is a British action hero and fightman employed by Channel Brawl. He presents the Channel Brawl Evening Bruise and the foreign affairs programme "People I have beaten up".

Previous Combined Krishnans:
89 games, 122 SPP

12 CP
26 TD
6 Cas
4 MVP

Nasmasha Noregrets Kaboomsky (born 9 September 1972) is an English fightin' presenter, best known for her mercenary roles on Sky Bruise, Newsfight, Channel None-Will-Survive, and ITV's confederation of death.

Inzanab Badangry (born 24 November 1959) is a Sudanese-British fightin' kickpuncher. She was the first presenter of the ITV Morning Biffs and was engaged in a vicious nine-year struggle with John Snow Mercy (1989–1998), until both collapsed in exhaustion. Badawi was the presenter of Reports, a weekly showcase of huge kicks from the BBC.