"I hate Nuffle. I hate players who sell out for his favor. I hate the fans. I hate the rules that are clearly made just to increase League profits."

"Im so gonna be an Assassin. I even bought the new iDagger. Pre-Release of course."

"This beard was around BEFORE dwarves were even born!"

"I only play on organic, non-GMO turf. No sorcery, that totally corrupts the vibrancy of the natural grass."

"Ugh, your uniform is like, so corporate. It must suck to wear a jersey made by sweatshop goblins."

"I sacrifice only pure Elven blood to the Blood God. Anything else would be like, gross."

"It is plainly obvious that you learned how to tackle from some corporate, new employee video. It must be such a burden lacking skill and finesse."

"So you noticed my new boots? Yeah, they are made from naturally raised, organic-non-warpstone troll skin. The steel toe? Dont be stupid that isnt steel. It is a highly refined titanium alloy. Its also 100% recycle-able should it get too stained with blood."

"The formula to success is clearly a team of a few elite Legends and the rest a support team of replaceable 'linos'. This ensures an even distribution of pay but keeps team value artificially low so other teams have to meet us at our preferred team weight. yeah some call it cheating or min/maxing. They are just like, sour losers who dont know how to do it properly."

"No, son, i dont drink BloodWeiser. That swill is for the masses. I brew my own spirits and ale at my friend's refinery. Northern Wastes Distillery? Havent heard of it? That isnt surprising. How would you know? You have to be invited and they only process natural ingredients. They dont advertise or give out free samples. It is for the refined palate. Now the line for the consession stand is over there, run along."

"Those poor Pro Elfs, they will put anything in their hair. I use only pure liver fat from naturally raised Cold-Ones."