"We have to interrupt your broadcast to bring you a report on the grisliest spectacles I've witnessed that did not involve Bob and an all-you-can-eat ribs buffet-"

"Hey! I always wear a bib and warn people that the people in the first three rows will get splashed!"

"-the game that just took place between the Vampires of Regal Schæßerg and that valiant Imperial Noble team the Waldenhof Warpfire."

"Vampires and lightly-armoured foes? I'm salivating already, tell me more Jim!"

"The Vampires had apparently been celebrating a festival the previous night- something to do with the birthday of an ancient king that I of course don't know anything about- and so were blood-crazed from the opening whistle."

"Fantastic!"

"Or possibly fang-tastic- the poor thralls of Schæßberg suffered more at the hands of their own team than they did their opponents. It didn't help that the match was played in pouring rain, either."

"I pity their poor mothers- blood and grass-stains are the worst to get out of sports kit."

"The final score of the game as a sporting contest was three-nil to the Warpfire, but the most important statistic was how many players were left standing at the end of the match- five vampires and six humans."

"Wow, what a match!"

"I urge any of you with a Blood Bowl Game Pass to go watch it- especially as it's currently available for the low, low price of only ninety-five Gold Crowns a month."

"What? When did the league get so altruistic?"

"It's Black Friday, Bob- the offer ends tomorrow!"

"Of course it does, Jim. Of course it does..."