Life in Stunty Leeg is often short, painful, unrewarding, short, difficult, and short. Players strive to be the best, giving their all, knowing that ultimately the fans want nothing more than to see them die in spectacular fashion.

Today, Swarmy of Darkness, in an otherwise one-sided match, lost the brightest star they've seen so far. Lord Arthur II is gone, not truly dead, but returned to the Warp from whence he came.

Leading the team out on to the pitch for the second half, his Lordship could have no clue that his fate awaited him in the shape of a rabid, frothing ball of teeth going by the name of Ñam Ñam. This fearsome Squig notched up 5 casualties in the match, but the loss of Lord Arthur II is the one that the team will really feel.

The Swarm soldiers on, knowing that there can be no doubt that this is all part of a grand and ineffable plot to further the ascension of Tzeentch; The Architect of Fate moves in mysterious ways indeed.

The team's coach, when asked for comment, could only say that he would 'blaze a fatty in Arthur's honour'. Whether this is an indication that some poor obese fan was to be plucked from the stands and sacrificed on a ritual pyre, or, as some say, a reference to an esoteric intoxicant used in the team's deviant post-match celebrations, remains unclear.

On a brighter note, the game also saw Shebutch sprout a pair of pulsing, iridescent stumps, giving the coach hope that The Changer Of The Ways has seen fit to reward this promising Firewyrm with the highly unusual gift of legs, spurred no doubt by her recent propensity to launch herself through the air at her foes. Only time will tell.



Oh, and to save lizvis the effort: emo