"Good evening, sports fans! Pull up your favourite La-Z Squig reclining armchair, crack open an ice-cold Bloodweiser and get ready for action, because it's time once again for Blood Bowl Round-up! As always, I'm your host Jim Johnson..."

"...and I'm Bob Bifford."

"Say, Bob- am I remembering wrongly or are you a fan of kills in Blood Bowl games?"

"You're more right than something a Nehekharan uses to animate the dead."

"Well you're in for a treat with the newest match on Blood Bowl Game Pass- the Sludge River Shamblers VS Athens Turns Green."

"Why? Did the Orcs slaughter those useless Nurgle-worshipping scumbags?"

"Yes and no, Bob- the Orcs won by a score of two touchdowns to nil, but the Shamblers managed an astounding three kills in their defeat!"

"Three? Is that a record?"

"I don't know, but the Guild of Statisticians tell me they'll have an answer for that question very shortly!"

"Oh, hooray- I love me a good stat."

"Whilst I figure out if my co-host is being sarcastic we'll take a short break, but don't touch that dial folks- we have Atherns Turns Green against the Bradford Bulls after this short commercial break!"

"Who?"

"The Orcs we just reported on, Bob."

"Really? I forget things so easily these days- maybe I gave out one too many hits to the head whilst I was playing..."