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swladmin



Joined: Sep 22, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 02, 2019 - 02:35 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season LXXVII Round 3 Axe

SWL Premier League LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Fraud Squad Conference LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Colour of Money Conference LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Impak Regional LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Wychwethyl Regional LXXVII

All Clear

Round 4 due 8th July

_________________
oryx wrote:
swladmin... now that's one mother#@*$er you don't mess with.

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Redgum



Joined: May 19, 2009

Post   Posted: Jul 02, 2019 - 09:16 Reply with quote Back to top

ramchop wrote:
In case you missed it, the All Stars for Season 76 are up.

This was a group effort with 5 coaches involved, and using a variation of Redgum's secret sauce selection formula.


Huge Kudos to Ramchop and all the others who stepped in and resuscitated what was a little passion project of mine which grew too large for me to manage. I still have the passion, but seeing others come in and take the lead and put in the work I wasn’t able to put in was really fantastic, and I think SWL is all the better for fluff like this.
So thanks everyone involved. I (and I’m sure many others here) really appreciate your work.

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Tomay wrote:
Thanks Redgum, you are a legend...
swladmin



Joined: Sep 22, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 08, 2019 - 18:47 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season LXXVII Round 4 Axe

SWL Premier League LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Fraud Squad Conference LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Colour of Money Conference LXXVII

In De Nile vs Morning Breakfast Cereal - extension

SWL Impak Regional LXXVII

Sutho Shire SharkBait (B team) vs Nuffle's Decaydence - Pending double forfeit no communication

SWL Wychwethyl Regional LXXVII

All Clear

Round 5 due 15th July

_________________
oryx wrote:
swladmin... now that's one mother#@*$er you don't mess with.

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MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 09, 2019 - 07:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Death Watch Week 4

"Welcome back, Bob. Now what was that you were saying about a big week? I don't see more than eight fatalities."
"Relax, Jim. In De Nile and the Mighty Mighty Breakfast Cereal might be stuck in traffic somewhere, and those pesky goblins and stinky Nurglers are apparently lost somewhere in the Wastes, but there's been enough quantity
and quality to go around."
"Bob, what
are you talking about? Have you been at the fungus wine?"
"It's been a bumper week. The Curses have kicked in properly, and -"
"Here we go with your curse nonsense again Bob. Can you just -"
"Enough of your scepticism. Here are the facts!"


Image Tauresaur, Chaos Pact Minotaur, too sore to play ever again after a second turn foul by Brian, The Scoundrel. 9 SPP.

Image Drax Max, Chaos Pact Ogre, drastic to the max after taking it hard from The Blood Red Cock Of Hell. 9 SPP.

"Crikey. The Greyskulls' coach really shouldn't have used his apo on a badly hurt elf, should he?"
"That's Norse for you, Jim."
"Anyway, we now have enough big guys to start a new Pact team."
"The politically correct term is Renegades, Bob."
"Sorry Jim!"


Image Barugon, Chaos Dwarf Blocker, sent into the red by Sceledrus Black. 9 SPP.

"Another last turn kill as Barugon turned into Barugone gone gone, eh Jim?"

"So now I see we're minus a Skaven Lineman."
"Don't you mean Minos the Skaven Lineman?"
"There's no positive there for the little guy."

Image Minos, Underworld Lineman, blocked by Flint Warmantle. 1 SPP.

Image Kana Koumoto, Orc Lineman.

""Kana Koumoto cannot come out to ... er... I've got nothing more Jim."
"Neither has he after that hit from the Ur-Nugget."

Blocked by The Ur-Nugget. 3 SPP.

"Good to see another recruit at the end of the match though."
"Yep, the legend of Kana Koumoto will live on."
"If you call it life..."
"Speaking of life, here come those Wood Elfs, those happy forest folk, defenders of peace and tranquility, gentle guardians of the plants and trees and -"


Image Radley Rubeola, Nurgle Rotter, from Radley to Sadley via Caging Rollins. 0 SPP.

"That was a big hit from the limping lineman of Bravado, wasn't it?"
"Hang on a minute Bob and there'll be another!"



Image Lach Legionellosis Jr, Nurgle Bloater, that horrible stench cured by the lovely syrupy smell of Douglas Maple. 9 SPP.

"It's a dynasty of death, Jim! Lach Legionellosis got killed. Then his son, Lach Legionellosis killed Filo Undermaul and made a rotter of him! And less than a season later, he's dead too! Incontrovertionable evidence!"
"Don't you mean incontrovertible?"
"Don't be silly, Jim. That means driving around in a car with no roof!"

"
And look - the invisible hand of the Death Watch pushed another player into the welcoming arms of the crowd:
Image Hoopstein, Necromantic Wight, went surfing, left nothing but a hoopstain. 8 SPP.

"Bob, stop it. Hoopstein didn't kill anyone this season."
"Oh yes he did - poor little Wilford Long, in a preseason 'friendly'. Still, Wilford had the last laugh - he went to his grave only once,
and he had more SPP than Hoopstain!"
"Well, can we stop with this curse nonsense now?"
"No, we can't, Jim. We've hardly started! What about Fructose Overdose, smashing his ankle in the Scoundrel's second win of the season?"
"He never even killed anybody, Bob. He lied about killing a journeyman linerat last season, when everyone knows that was Avo Smash Toast."
"Well, I'll tell you what else is cursed, Jim.
The SWL All Stars team!"
"No, Bob, no!"
"Hergal Goldbrew, damaged back. Socrates, smashed ankle.
Mr Popularity himself, Impak, smashed knee. That's four of the 11 All Stars injured, and we're hardly past the half-way mark. Not to mention Socrates was double cursed after he put that flesh golem to permanent rest last season!"
"Bob, the simple fact is that the All Stars mostly play in the Premiership, where the most violence happens. It's obvious."
"That's where you're wrong, Jim! I got the mad monks to crunch the numbers! Everyone knows the Wychwethel Conference has the most bone-crushing action this season, with 36 serious injuries and deaths from just 20 games."
"That's because the Regional teams can't afford proper healthcare."
"No, Jim. That's almost double the injuries in the Impak Regional, and everyone knows all people do there is stand around talking to each other when they should be playing Blood Bowl!"
"Well, there must be some other explanation. Say, because the high value of the All Stars makes them targets for every other team."
"Jim, stop coming up with these mythical ideas when it's quite obvious there's a curse!"
"Can we just get on with the statistics, please?"


Gratuitous Statistickal Analysis Sectione
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That's now enough Big Guys to staff a full Chaos Pact team that have left the Southern Wastes permanently.
Wood Elfs remain the players most likely to die, but Bravado are now the clear leaders as the killiest team, averaging one permanent removal per week. The chaff is really being winnowed now, with any dead player in week 4 being worth an average of just 6 SPP, down from 11.8 in week 2.
And Secret Wasteland Love are slipping; only 7 deaths and serious injuries, against the Yeast Lords, now up to 9!

Did you know: the Blood Crag Stripes haven't suffered a serious injury since the season began. (Their skinks just die horribly, rather than hanging around to complain).

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oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post   Posted: Jul 09, 2019 - 21:17 Reply with quote Back to top

Very nice work, MrCushtie.

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Never moon a Werewolf!
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 10, 2019 - 05:17 Reply with quote Back to top

Death Watch Week 4: Late Breaking News

Image Muddy Boots cleaned off the pitch by Violet. Khemri Skeleton, 3 SPP.

"Well Jim, those Elfs might have been late to the party, but it goes to show you should always be careful with your breakfast cereal!"
"That's right Bob. Or else you could choke on your -"
"Say it, Jim!"
"I'm not going to say it, Bob..."
"Go on, Jim!"
"I'm not the one who does the belaboured puns, Bob."
"Say it! Say it say it say it!"
"... Khorne flakes."
"Doesn't that feel good Jim?"
"No Bob. I'm going to be sick in a bucket now."


Join us next week for the first contribution of the Sutho Shire Sharks B Team since they sacrificed a Troll in Week 1!

"Are goblins on the menu Jim?"
"That would be telling..."

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swladmin



Joined: Sep 22, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 15, 2019 - 17:43 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season LXXVII Round 5 Axe

SWL Premier League LXXVII

Pugs Not Drugs vs Styx αnd Warpstones - Forfeit to Pugs
Wildwood Windlords vs [adult swim] - Extension

SWL Fraud Squad Conference LXXVII

Skye Hoppers! vs Secret Wasteland Love - Extension

SWL Colour of Money Conference LXXVII

TingBuDong vs In De Nile - Double Forfeit No Comms -1 point each

SWL Impak Regional LXXVII

Cocoa Speed vs Kraka Drak Kneecappers - Forfeit to Kraka Drak -1 point Cocoa

SWL Wychwethyl Regional LXXVII

All Clear

Not happy with this round people. Everyone should know the rules about communication by now.

Round 6 due 22nd July

_________________
oryx wrote:
swladmin... now that's one mother#@*$er you don't mess with.

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swladmin



Joined: Sep 22, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 17, 2019 - 15:42 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season LXXVII Round 5 WAxe

SWL Premier League LXXVII

Wildwood Windlords vs [adult swim] - Forfeit to adult swim

SWL Fraud Squad Conference LXXVII

Skye Hoppers! vs Secret Wasteland Love - Forfeit to Wasteland

Round 6 due 22nd July

_________________
oryx wrote:
swladmin... now that's one mother#@*$er you don't mess with.

Image
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 19, 2019 - 16:04 Reply with quote Back to top

Death Watch Week 5
"It's been quiet this week,hasn't it, Jim?"
"That's right, Bob. With some scheduling mishaps there's been more teams failing to play games than players dying."
"Shocking, Jim, shocking."
"Still, it's not all bad. The Sharkbait finally put some points on the board in a nail-biting game with some of those pesky Norse."
"Jim! Don't go spoiling things."
"You're right Jim, let's get on with the Deaths Of The Week."



Image No reprieve for Steve, Norse Lineman, fouled by Ben Gore. 0 SPP.
"First example I can think of of the Dreaded Reverse Curse Of The Death Watch."
"Come again, Bob?"
"You must have heard of the Dreaded Reverse Curse Of the Death Watch, Jim. It's when a player gets injured, and then comes back and gets killed a random number of matches later."
"... isn't that just Blood Bowl, Bob?"


Image Grant, Norse Ulfwerener, Chainsaw by Ben Gore. 18 SPP. "Serves him right for there being two Grants on the team!"
"That's right, Jim. The Hammers were just asking for it with that kind of roster. And great to see the plucky little guy Ben Gore getting two kills in one game. We need to see more goblins here."
"Er..."


Image Burning Sensation Grogg, Goblin, got his last dose of antibiotics ever from a foul by spare parts. 9 SPP.
"That's not quite what I meant, Jim, but a death is a death."
"Anyway, up next is a classic bit of scantily clad Amazon-on-Norse action!"
"Bob, you need to think about what you're saying..."



Image Brad, the Cleric, Norse Lineman, gentleman of the cloth folded up and put away by Nae. 25 SPP.
"Nae?"
"Neigh?"
"Nay, neigh is what you hear from a horse of course. Nae is when you no longer hear from a Norse."
"Jim?"
"Yes Bob?"
"I'll do the laboured puns and wordplay here, ok?"


Image Vannirel Waste-Walker, Wood Elf Lineman, wasted by The Ur-Nugget. 0 SPP.
"You know, it's a real surprise when an AV6 Wood Elf dies."
"It is?"
"It's surprising it took him this long."


Image Gael Gorgongaut Jr, Nurgle Pestigor, blocked by Faustus Gratidius Mordanticus. 31 SPP.
"Gorgongaut? Gore gone, more like."

Image George Darklightning, Elf Lineman, thundered off the pitch by Aenesidemus. 0 SPP.
"We don't say anything about journeymen, do we Bob?"
"No. Nothing nice, anyway."


Image Bo, Skaven Thrower, Block by Gigan. 9 SPP.
"See, Jim! It's the Curse of the Death Watch once more!"
"Bob, do you really think there's an occult agency avenging the deaths of rotters?"
"There's no other explanation for Bo dying. Or don't you think it's suspicious that the apothecary could do nothing to save him?"
"The apothecary didn't bother doing
anything[i], Bob."

"Well, that was a week. Join us next week for a few more deaths (we hope!)"
"Jim! Don't forget the stats!"
"Of course, Bob. Everyone comes here for the cutting edge graphics and analysis, don't they? Well, here goes..."

Statistickal Analysis
Most Dangerous Division: Wychwethel Regional - 12 deaths
Worst job: Lineman - 15 deaths
Most broken:[/b] 5 way tie between the Trondheim Hammers, Loec's Loggers, Eternia Greyskulls, Chrimean Chimera and Secret Wasteland Love, all on 3 deaths each.
Most battered: Yeast Lords (8 serious injuries, 1 death). Secret Wasteland Love and Eternia Greyskulls tie for second place, with 4 serious injuries and 3 deaths each.
Killiest team: Bravado, with 4 deaths. Nobody bashes like Wood Elfs, apparently. Unless somebody kills a few of them, they're probably not winning the Glass Cannon this year.
Late To The Party: Secret Runners of Sydney, Singed Poor Scoundrels and Morning Breakfast Cereal made it through 4 weeks without sustaining a single death. That stopped this week.

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oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post   Posted: Jul 20, 2019 - 11:53 Reply with quote Back to top

Great effort again, MrC!

But it is embarrassing - nay ... far worse than that: Humiliating - that my Gobbos are actually deadlier than my previous team, CHorfs. (sigh)

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Never moon a Werewolf!
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 21, 2019 - 08:04 Reply with quote Back to top

Cheers Boss! That game against Norse was like the Claw your chorfs never had...

Also, it looks like you might need to be harder to prone opponents. Here's a graph of your ground game:

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whereas the Scoundrels were (after a slow start)
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My best games this year have been my fouliest (and my worst probably the ones where I couldn't get a foul in). So if you are contemplating Flings next year, put the boot in! When a player costs less than a bribe, it's rude not to Smile

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swladmin



Joined: Sep 22, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 22, 2019 - 19:11 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season LXXVII Round 6 Axe

SWL Premier League LXXVII

All Clear - Seems the Commissioner has been using the "Special" dice no one is supposed to know about. Congrats on wrapping up another SWL title Tomay

SWL Fraud Squad Conference LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Colour of Money Conference LXXVII

All Clear

SWL Impak Regional LXXVII

Praag Riders vs HighShire Darknuts - Forfeit to Praag Riders
Cocoa Speed vs Nuffle's Decaydence - Forfeit to Nuffle's Decaydence, Lostboyzz seems MIA. Search crews have been sent out to the usual dead coach dumping grounds.

SWL Wychwethyl Regional LXXVII

All Clear

Round 7 due 29th July

_________________
oryx wrote:
swladmin... now that's one mother#@*$er you don't mess with.

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MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 23, 2019 - 09:10 Reply with quote Back to top

Charging into the home straight screaming bloody murder, it's this week's fun packed catalog of all the serious injuries and fatalities in the Southern Wastes:
Death Watch Week 6
Image Guilala, Chaos Dwarf Hobgoblin, will never level up after meeting Stuart, the End Level Guy. 3 SPP.
"It's guys everywhere, isn't it? Guy La La, then the End Level Guy, then Guilala everywhere."
"Wasn't Guy La La that Bretonnian coach?"
"Shut up, Jim."


Image Billy Clumsyhammer, Orc Lineman, had his lights knocked out by a guy whose name is up in lights, that bad, bad Neon Joe. 0 SPP. "Just another journeyman, Jim."
"Well, you say that, Bob, but Clumsyhammer turned up for 7 games..."


Image Dryades, Underworld Goblin , dried out by Greenbranch Sister-Stem. 0 SPP.
"11 games without a single achievement, and then a tree falls on him!"

Image Sacrifice of Isaac, Dark Elf Lineman, blocked by Manius Aurius Crispus. 8 SPP.
"Is it time for us to mention that Crispus is bad for your health yet?"
"We already had that one, Bob. I just want to think about the sacrifices that Isaac made."
"What, like a broken neck? Seems to me that player had a season ticket to the hospital, and then he got lost and went to the end of the line."
"I was really expected something more Biblical from you, Jim."
"Well, we're both a bit confused this week, aren't we?"


Image Douglas Maple, Wood Elf Treeman, Foul by Kallabilli. 11 SPP.
"That's treemen for you. First there's the lovely smell of maple, then there's the foul smell of loving."
"The lovely smell of fouling?"
"... Yeah, that too. Anyway, congratulations to the plucky skeleton with that foul, right near the end of the game."
"Right near the end of Douglas' game, anyway."
"And that was the first time the Curse of the Death Watch struck this week."
"And the last, Bob. There's no such thing!"
"You wait and see what our stats department say about that, Jim..."


Image Xenopus Laevis III, Slann Lineman, dealt a death from a Birth at Bethel. 6 SPP.
"Third time unlucky for Laevis there, Bob."
"That's right. The young frog had already missed two games this season with a smashed hand and a broken neck."
"And he'll be missing a lot more games from now on, right?"


And now... the High Elf Section

Image Alphon, High Elf Catcher, losing his Orcidas endorsement and dying as he tripped dodging. 6 SPP.

Image Surveillance Doe, High Elf Thrower, won't see anything, won't say anything after a cultural revolution from Wang x Yangming. 21 SPP.

Image Dusty, High Elf Catcher, losing his Orcidas endorsement as - hang on, have we already had this one? 13 SPP.
"No, just a bad week all round for High Elf catchers and shoelaces."

Trumpets blast.

"What's that noise Bob? Not more of your accursed sound effects?"
"No Jim, it's a celebration."
"A celebration of what?"
"Do you remember your first time?"
"Oh Bob, no, stop, that's disgusting - "
"No, the first time you killed somebody? That's the great, great feeling that those plucky Pact guys must be feeling right now. Makes up for all the big guys they've had die."
"One Skaven lineman?"
"It's a start, Jim. It's a start."


Image Verity, Skaven Lineman, blocked by Hotsprings Bannor. 0 SPP.

After that whirlwind of destruction, we just have time for the weekly statistickal roundup, courtesy of Norscan Peninsula University:

Glass Hammer With the death of Douglas Maple, Bravado have one hand on the trophy - 4 kills to 3 deaths mean unless it all goes wrong for Immortalis Inquietus' necromancer in week 7, nobody's getting close. The one threat, the skimpily-clad Blackwater Cockfighters, just haven't sustained enough damage this season to approach Bravado's virtuoso heights.

Are You Sure You're Coming In Today? Commemorative Urn is probably going to War-Failin Pure Goo, seeing as Xenopus Laevis III is never coming in again. Ever. We now have ten players who have sustained multiple injuries this season, nine of which are still alive, including the ill-fated All Star, Hergal Goldbrew. With a fractured skull and a damaged back, it's unclear how much longer the little guy with the big heart will be part of the Giants.

It Takes An Orc To Break An Orc Illegal Demonstration Jockstrap - the Redskins didn't lose a player for 5 straight games this season, and then they met [adult swim]'s Neon Joe. To put that in perspective, the only other team that made it to week 6 without a death were the Skye Hoppers (now down a frog), TingBuDong and the unkillable Pugs Not Drugs.

Glorious Sacrifice Fruitbowl - still being led by Secret Wasteland Love with 4 deaths. However, with only 4 serious injuries, they can't hope to catch the Yeast Lords for the Dangerous Workplace Banana Skin (8 serious injuries and three deaths mean the 'Lords might still overtake the 'Love in the last game of the season.)

Everyone Gets Out Of Here Alive Award: 32 teams have had at least one death this season. That leaves 9 teams that haven't had one death yet. Can you guess who they are? There are two teams that have sustained no serious injuries and only one death each.

456 SPP have been consigned to the graveyard in exchange for only 96 earned SPP. That could have paid for an entire roster of linemen to learn how to wrestle. But then I guess somebody would only have fouled them while they were on the floor.

Positionals:
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Now officially more dangerous to be a big guy than a blitzer in this league. (Although throwers might have something to say about life expectancy...)

Racial focus
19 dead elves. 1 dead Amazon. Turns out AV7 isn't the problem after all... And despite how people on Farcebook will tell you that Wardancers get murdered by fouling as often as the sun rises in the morning, only two Wood Elves have been fouled to death this season (and one was a tree suffering a double dose of the Death Watch Curse)

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swladmin



Joined: Sep 22, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 23, 2019 - 12:37 Reply with quote Back to top

Axing Update

Due to Lostboyzz missing 2 games without reason his remaining games are forfeited and all games played are retrospectively awarded wins to his opponents.

_________________
oryx wrote:
swladmin... now that's one mother#@*$er you don't mess with.

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Foad



Joined: Sep 02, 2007

Post   Posted: Jul 29, 2019 - 12:21 Reply with quote Back to top

Season LXXVIII Draft
--------------------
Wozzaa - Khemri
oozeboss - Skaven
Luisito2036 - Orc
DaemonicLazoth - Amazons
tussock - High Elves
jamesfynmore - Vampires
Ergo Proxy - Slann

Still happy to have more on board as long as you can get a couple of trial games in.

If people are interested in racial balance, "Scissors" teams are now at cap. Chaos, Wood Elf and Elven Union are under represented.

Also, if people are interested in filling with a second team in regionals, please drop SWLadmin a PM.

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