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Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Aug 22, 2019 - 00:55 Reply with quote Back to top

We'll be going in depth to cover the Destroit Lynels Season 23 campaign in the NBFL. Each week we'll preview and recap the teams games.

Season 23 Preview
With turnover in the division and the conference as a whole, the Lynels are picked for a Wild Card Spot. We'll see if they live up to the hype or shame themselves by being bitten, mangled, and covered in poo by the toughest coached division in the NBFL, the NFC North.

The Team

Destroit was a season 22 post draft expansion team. The rookie season saw building pains, but the team managed a 4-6-4 record to finish an even .500. Not good enough to get the job done, but importantly all the initial draftees survived the rookie season and are ready to contribute the 2nd campaign.

Best Player Big Ben the 3rd

The Bull put up 9 TDs and 6 Cas last season and looks to make himself a candiate for Leauge MVP

Best Hitter Chris Spielman

The undrafted Chorf put up 9 casualties last season and only got better down the stretch

Best Fouler Quandary Diggs

With the retirement of Matthew Stafford and his 43 fouls in 13 games the team will look to Diggs and his 9 fouls to step up (or down?)

The Lynels' season starts Tomorrow night at 0400 bbtime
Game 1 preview to follow!


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Aug 22, 2019 - 03:19 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 1 - Chorf on Chorf Violence!

Opponent: Vigilante Shingles
Record 0-0 (5-6-3 season 22)
Coach: rodney_dangerfield

Quick preview: A true clash of styles in what is a mirror match, that sets up to answer the age old coach question: Who should carry the ball? A proud majestic Bull, or a wimpy hobgoblin? Vigilante just missed the playoffs in season 22 and look to make a strong push this season.

Opposing Team strengths: Hobgoblins?

The Shingles have Super Star hobgoblins. Just lots of impressive little guys led by the blodging 7447 Tom Mack. But he's only one of 3 real difference making hobgoblins.

Opposing Team weaknesses:

Lots of star hobgoblins come with lots of bloat. If they can't get away from the heavy hitting Lynels that AV7 will see them short handed guys they need. Expect the bloat to give the Lynels enough treasury to lure out some big time star players.

Prediction: I think we got this.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Aug 23, 2019 - 05:03 Reply with quote Back to top

Game 1 Recap

The Lynels receive the season opening kick in the pouring rain. They're joined by Hthark the Unstoppable and they immediately start hitting, but Big Ben fails to get the wet ball. The Shingles pressure but are knocked around more and players leave the field as Big Ben gets the ball and gets out of the way. Quandry's boot pick up and he just hurts player after player. He sends a Bull to the Apo before he does serious damage to Cedric Ogbuehi. The ref wants to step in. He doesn't, and his pants pockets sag for the remainder of the game, and Cedric's career is likely cut short.

Mark Ingrumm takes offense to Spielman's best hitter designation and tries to show he's the top dog. The Lynels make quick work of the Shingles and score as time runs out.

The weather clears and the Shingles line up and and look to be in trouble early, but the armor is holding and the positioning is very solid. Big Ben makes his way into the crowd trying to free up a hit on the ball, but it doesn't happen. Shingles get the late equalizer.

Time for a 2 minute drill and the Lynels push guys down the field for the desperate pass. Big Ben manages to throw the ball over a scrum. The 2nd round rookie Nicole "T.A." Kidman has the chance to make the catch and walk in but drops it and the game ends.

1-1 tie. Not a great start, but something to build on.

Season Record: 0-1-0


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Aug 27, 2019 - 01:12 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 2 - Chorfs take on Rookie Orcs! (division game)

Opponent: Manglesota Vile Kings
Record 0-1
Coach: Kzarik

Quick preview: After a hard luck first game the Orcs will be without their Star thrower as he waits to see if his career will continue. The orcs will be relying on a raw strength advantage, While the Lynels will hope a season of experience can lead them to a victory in the first division game of the young season.

Opposing Team strengths: This guy

The Vile Kings are lead by Nick Egads, and he's really going to have to strap the rest of the team on his back.

Opposing Team weaknesses: Surprisingly not much

With no real strengths, the team is pretty well balanced and doesn't really have too many holes. The one weakness would be the lack of sound tacklers on defense. A ball carrier will emerge for sure and will likely be Dug Netherland.

Prediction: I think we got this.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Sep 11, 2019 - 01:04 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 2 recap

It was bad, really bad 2-1 orcs

2 dead chorfs included first season draft pick Mark Ingrum who decided to feed himself to a troll rather than live with this result.

Not much to say other than out muscled, out bashed, and out played.


Last edited by dashergeaux on Oct 09, 2019 - 05:13; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: Sep 11, 2019 - 01:14 Reply with quote Back to top

Now that I have become aware of this forum post, I imbue you with Nuffle's powers of blood.

Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 01:35 Reply with quote Back to top

Editors note: many weeks of footage was piled up. Partially because of the damage and destruction at the hands of the orcs. Partially because of a small trip by the NBFL films crew to Chaos Cup.

We now continue with match highlights and a first half breakdown.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 01:55 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 3 recap

Green Baynana Grabbers

After getting completely out muscled by orcs the week before, taking on the apes with 8 str 4 or better players was not something the Lynels were looking forward to.

They lined up without bull Sam Pier recovering from a fractured skull and star rookie Naashon Hughes recovering from broken ribs.

They filled the team with two brand new chorfs, a merc chorf and Rashnack Backstabber on rental to try to get by.

They received the opening kick, but a blitz put them in a tough spot early as chimp Blake Martinez ended up catching the kick. Big Ben was able to pop the ball free to the open field but a failed pick that scattered onto LeGarrette Blount up meant there was still trouble... Until Ape coach decided to take the skull? Yeah he took the skull, monkeys got hurt. Lynels score on turn 8 with 3 apes badly hurt and 2 ko'd. No one turn chance as the apes failed a pick up.

2nd half starts with Gorilla Temistocles skulling out against Rashnack. Chrofs pressured the apes and Fractured Davante Adams skull, but the apes maganged a long pass on turn 7 to tie it up.

Star fouler Quandary Diggs trips on a snake as the buzzer expires to prevent the go ahead score.

It's a tie that should have been a loss, that should have been a win.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 02:08 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 4 Recap

Out of conference matchup with dark elves

This time the team shows up with both bulls and Grashnak! Who the Mavens fans don't like so he's knocked out by a rock before the opening kick.

It's an ugly drive The elves don't want to engage, but outbash the chorfs. Quandary Diggs goes to work removing any elf on the ground, but poor ball handling by the bulls give away the first half.

Grashnak comes out for the 2nd, but is carted away by his personal apoth before the lynels see turn 1. The chrofs really turn up the damage and have the darkies down to just 6 players after 2 turns. Lynels play up the man advantage and tie it up as time expires.

Another tie.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 02:22 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 5 recap

The seasons turns around against the Necromantic team

Another cross conference match, but against the only team more beat up by the season than the Lynels. With one legendary wolf dead and one missing, the Kneelers were just overmatched. The Lynels were them down and just 3 undead remain on the field as they score late. A riot appears to give them a shot at score before the half, but a failed pass ends the half.

The 2nd half sees a full 11 for the necro with neither team bothered at all by the heat.

In a rush to score early for the shot at the win the still young wolf can't break through the lynels line and gives up the ball. The ball falls into a scrum that no one seems to break and eventually a wild pass is intercepted by ghoul Chuck the human rock lobber. Chuck losses the ball and later dies trying to go around Sam to get it back. Big ben escapes the scrum and goes in for the 2-0 win.

A win! Nice change of pace!


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 02:36 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 6 recap

A bloody, bloody affair for visiting wood elves.

It was not a good day to be from the forest. The opening kick saw the big str 7 tree get killed as the apo stood by doing nothing about it. (6,6) armor, (6,6) injury, 6 apo 6.

The Lynels then snuck an extra man on the field and went to work removing elves. Van Ridick almost saves the day taking out Big Ben for the game, but the half ends 1-0 Lynels.

The elves somehow manage to start with 11 in the 2nd. After star catcher Teddy Brush is killed early, the Briars opt for the quick score to pull it to 1-1.

A blitz kickoff give the elves a real chance to steal the game but a game saving pass gets the ball out of trouble. Elves keep up the pressure, but just amazing luck and a whole lot of murder lead to a 2-1 win.

The game ends with 3 elves moving, 5 seriously hurt and 2 dead stars.

Lynels get their 2nd win.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 02:49 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 7 recap

Wrapping up the first half against the defending NBFL champs Chicagovania Provocateurs

Lynels kick off to get it started on a great day for bloodbowl. Quandary Diggs puts the boot to Superstar vamp and superbowl mvp Maximiliano Hunger and kills him dead. The apo tries, but nothing works and Max gave up on afterlife. Vampires were uncharacteristically poor at moving around the pitch, allowing the Lynels to get the early score and go up 1-0 oat the half.

Rain was pooring down to star the 2nd half. Big Ben had real trouble getting the ball and had to fight off the vamps. Lynels decided to turtle up and not press for a score to secure the 1-0 win. Leaving only 4 Provocateurs on the pitch despite only 2 casualties total (both deaths).

3 wins in a row!


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2019 - 03:11 Reply with quote Back to top

First Half Recap

Lynels are 3 wins, 3 ties, and 1 loss

We're sitting at 3rd in the division, but within striking distance of the division.

-----NFC North---------W--T--L--P
1----Green Baynana--3--4--0--33




The wild card is well in sight as well, but it looks like 2nd in the division will be a must for a shot at the wild card. Just too strong and too balanced a division.

Stars of the first half.

1.Quandary Diggs
Just led the team in pain by fouling early and often. In the one loss of the season he didn't start the game. Enough said. Responsible for the Death of Maximiliano Hunger in an 11 foul game. He ends the first 7 games with 29 fouls. None in the teams only loss.

2.Chris Spielman
A model of consistency. 1 casualty in every game... except the loss.

3.Blaine Gabbert
After an underwhelming rookie campaign the Hobo leads the team with 4 TDs and has started to be a contributor on defense.


Last edited by dashergeaux on Nov 03, 2019 - 04:20; edited 2 times in total

Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 09, 2019 - 03:51 Reply with quote Back to top

2nd Half Preview

NFC North vs the NFC East

We'll start by looking at the East.

NFC East Standings

Phull-o-s'elfia Egos ------ 4 - 2 - 1 --- 34 pts
Witchington Paleskins -- 3 - 2 - 2 --- 27 pts
New York Genocides --- 2 - 1 - 4 --- 17 pts
*Dallas Crowbar --------- 1 - 0 - 5 --- 07 pts*

* Dallas has one game to play. mid season replacement. Better than the record would indicate.

In the rest of the NFC it looks likely that C'attle C'haos and the Los Angeles Glams will take one of the wild card spots. The North and the East will battle it out for the last wildcard.

Phull-o-s'elfia seems to have control of the division, but Witchington can take control with a win in their next head to head matchup. It seems pretty clear one team will win the division and the other will be fighting for the wild card spot with the runner up in the North.

In this round it looks like 6 teams will be fighting for 2 spots in the NFC and the defending superbowl champs are currently the 6th team in line. This will be the match up to watch in the 2nd half.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 09, 2019 - 04:57 Reply with quote Back to top

NFC East Team Specifics

Dallas Crowbar

Short time shorties.

These dwarves are new to the league as a mid season replacement. Having 9 guard players and block all around make them an annoying match up for everyone. No stat ups just put them behind the league, but they'll be well coached and take advantage of any mistakes. I'd rather get them early than late. More skills will make them spoiler for someone late.

New York Genocides

First Season Khorne waiting to pop.

Bloodthirster or Bust! Just a tough roster with not enough block against to much guard. Another team that could easily play spoiler later, but they just need some more time to get block and a few more sprinkles of tackle before they're the team to worry about in the east.

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