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Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Sep 30, 2020 - 04:43 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 6 Dead and Injured

Smoke if you got em... not so fast C'attle

The Dead

C'attle C'haos Rasheem Smokes Green Beastman 173 spp
Kansas City Thiefs Mitch Morse Minotaur 118 spp
Jakesonville Jortles Jakequell Armstead Catcher 98 spp
Los Angeles Glams Nsimba "Spider Glue" Webber Catcher 49 spp
San Foulcisco 69'ers Rodney "Thunderarm" Dangerfield Ghoul 47 spp
Buffaelo Khills Mylon Brown [VAMP] Pit Fighter 35 spp
Miami Coronablights Austin Jackson Lineman 6 spp
Atlatl Flechettes Brian Finneran Skink 6 spp
Cincinnati Hydras Walter Walters Lineman 0 spp

Newly Broken

C'attle C'haos Jermon Bushrod [HOWL] Blocker 103 spp -ST
Mangledsota Many-Men Scott Lawless [FSU] Human Blitzer 79 spp Niggled
Smaltimore Bedaines Shawn Robinson (QB) #12 Runner 77 spp -AV
Atlatl Flechettes Bronco Tex [BUFF] Saurus 59 spp Niggled
Green Baynana Grabbers Kevin King Bonobo 14 spp -AV
Witchington BloodBowl Team Champ Bailey III Lineman 11 spp -AV
New York Wrecks Sexy Rexy Beastman 6 spp Niggled
Witchington BloodBowl Team Bobby Mitchell II Lineman 0 spp -AV


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 09, 2020 - 13:51 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 7 Dead and Injured

A good week for the Apos

The Dead

Atlatl Flechettes Michael Turner Skink 53 spp
Carolin' Reapers Jaylon Smith [DAL] Flesh Golem 45 spp
Nawlins Lost Saints Lasco Lineman 30 spp
Houston Treants Borick Smashim [ND] Lineman 21 spp
Decay Bay Bloateneers Shelton Quarles Rotter 13 spp
Jakesonville Jortles Jake R Reed III Lineman 8 spp
New York Kroaks Dexter Lawrence Kroxigor 8 spp

Newly Broken

Las Vegas Sinners Cameron Turley [NCBB] Witch Elf 93 spp -AV
San Dogo Chompers Kwame Feathers Blitzer 84 spp -AG
Witchington BloodBowl Team Clinton Portis Lineman 32 spp -AV
Houston Treants Will Fuller Catcher 14 spp Niggled
Icelandic Dolts Auður Dolt Thrower 6 spp -AV
Witchington BloodBowl Team Santana Moss IV Lineman 6 spp -MA

----Recap from the first half----
--Dead Superstars--

C'attle C'haos Rasheem Smokes Green Beastman 173 spp
C'attle C'haos Boss Cockrell [DUKE] Beastman 123 spp
Kansas City Thiefs Mitch Morse Minotaur 118 spp
Nawlins Lost Saints Bush Lineman 117 spp
Jakesonville Jortles Jakequell Armstead Catcher 98 spp
Destroit Lynels Ye Olde Stoneface [DUKE] Bull Centaur 97 spp
Denver Brontos Vernon "The Vice" Davis (Maryland) Saurus  94 spp
Witchington BloodBowl Team Mascarita Sagrada [POLI] Blitzer 80 spp
Denver Brontos Porthose Baneschild Saurus 76 spp


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 10, 2020 - 03:45 Reply with quote Back to top

Breaking down the NFC at the halfway point

Current Seeds

1. Green Baynana 6-0-1 --- 42 points
2. Atlatl 4-3-0 ---37 points
3. New York 3-3-1 ---30 points
4. LA 3-2-2 --- 27 points


5. Destroit 5-1-1 --- 38 points
6. Cattle 3-2-2 --- 27 points

In the Hunt

7. Dallas 2-4-1 --- 26 points
8(T). Witchington 3-1-3 --- 24 points
8(T). Shytown 3-1-3 --- 24 points
10. Decay Bay 2-3-2 --- 23 points

Probably getting the draft board ready
11. San Foul 1-4-2 --- 19 points
12. Nawlins 1-3-1 --- 16 points
13(T). Carolina 1-2-3 --- 13 points
13(T). Mangledsota 1-2-4 --- 13 points
15. Pull-o-sel'elfia 1-1-4 --- 10 points
16. Arizona 0-3-3 --- 9 points

What to watch in the East
Ribbit Ribbit, The Frogs lead the East! Go Frogs Go, but this is the tightest of divisions with just 6 points between first and 3rd. Could produce a wild card with the West and North beating each other up.

What to watch in the North
A race at the top with two of the best records in the league. They have a tough matchup with the West, and Shytown is gunning for a wildcard spot of their own. This could lead to another season of producing the dreaded 7 and 8 seeds (you know, non playoff teams). The Old World has produced a team that has proven they'll put up a fight and can play spoiler.

What to watch in the South
The Lizards seem to be running away with this one with the largest lead in any NFC division, but their division rival Decay Bay will be fighting to knock them off now that they have been beat up a bit.

What to watch in the West
The usual race between C'attle and the Glams, but this time they may not be able to hang on for a wildcard spot with what is still the toughest crossover in the NBFL and a San Foul team wanting to find their own wildcard spot if they can't get hot and steal the division. C'attle is beat up for the first time in team history after a brutal first half, but the Glams are beat up after several seasons of playing C'attle 3 times a year.


Seeds remain as they are with only Witchington knocking off C'attle to steal the last wildcard spot.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 10, 2020 - 17:21 Reply with quote Back to top

Breaking down the AFC at the halfway point

Current Seeds

1(T). Icelandic 5-1-1 --- 38 points
1(T). Pittsburgh 5-1-1 --- 38 points
3. Miami 5-0-2 ---35 points
4/6. San Dogo 3-2-2 --- 27 points


5. Houston 4-2-1 --- 34 points
4/6. Kansas City 3-2-2 --- 27 points

In the Hunt

7(T). Las Vegas 3-1-3 --- 24 points
7(T). Cleved land 3-1-3 --- 24 points
9. Denver 3-0-4 --- 21 points
10(T). Jakesonville 2-2-3 --- 20 points
10(T). Cincinnati 2-2-3 --- 20 points

Probably getting the draft board ready

12. Buffaelo 2-1-4 --- 17 points
13. Titannesse 0-4-3 --- 12 points
14(T). Wrecks 1-1-4 --- 10 points
15(T). Samltimore 1-1-5 --- 10 points
16. Noo Squigland 1-0-5 --- 7 points

What to watch in the East
Move along, nothing to see here! The biggest runaway in the first half. This was not the division we thought we would get. Miami has a 18 point division lead with a sweep of their division after the first half. The division as a whole got beat up by the NFC north, and the defending champs and preseason darling orcs are at the bottom of the NBFL standings.

What to watch in the North
The orcs moved in and asserted dominance in the first half, (another team from the former NFC north that swept their division in the first half). The 2 game lead over Cleaved land probably holds as Cleavd land and Cincy try to fight for wild card spots in the 2nd half.

What to watch in the South
Norse Norse Norse! The rookie north team shakes up the division with the wood elves from Houston eagerly awaiting the rematch to try to take the division back. It looks like Jakesonvilles run may be over after a couple of seasons of injuries and attrition, but they could still leap into a wildcard spot.

What to watch in the West
The tightest and most interesting division in the NBFL. Just 6 points between the top and 4th. All the teams have a shot at the division, but a brutal season for Denver has them chasing the pack. A tough match up vs the North means every game in the 2nd half counts.


The South produces 2 playoff teams and Jakesonville ain't one of them, Vegas jumps in front of the West and San Dogo sneaks in as the last wildcard. Pittsburg dominates to take the 1 seed and Miami hangs on for the 2 despite limping into the playoffs after turning over 1/3 of the team in the 2nd half.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 19, 2020 - 00:14 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 8 Dead and Injured

More teams than players this week

The Dead

Jakesonville Jortles Froma Crypt [NV] Blitzer 81 spp
Miami Coronablights Tristram "Blue-Winged Teal" Night [O] Lineman 35 spp
Carolin' Reapers Mike Vrabel [OHIO] Zombie 6 spp
Denver Brontos Dawson Lenas Skink 0 spp
Houston Treants Brennan Scarlett Lineman 0 spp
Smaltimore Bedaines Team
Noo Squigland Punchdrunx Team

Newly Broken

Los Angeles Glams Des Troy Hill Catcher 272 spp -AG
Noo Squigland Punchdrunx T. Sambrailo Black Orc 116 spp Niggled
Smaltimore Bedaines Shawn Robinson (QB) #12 Runner 77 spp -AV
Buffaelo Khills Mark Nzeocha [DAL] Pit Fighter 55 spp -MA
Nawlins Lost Saints Rosebowl Elf [ND] Lineman 51 spp -MA
Green Baynana Grabbers Geronimo Allison Bonobo 11 spp -MA
Witchington BloodBowl Team Doug Williams II Lineman 6 spp Niggled
Carolin' Reapers Morte Amulator Ghoul 1 spp Niggled
Houston Treants Charles Omenihu Lineman 0 spp -MA


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 25, 2020 - 15:59 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 9 Dead and Injured

Blood for the Blood God in Buffalo

The Dead

Buffaelo Khills Landon A. Completion [DET] Bloodletter 95 spp
Buffaelo Khills Silver Bullet [NEV] Bloodletter 86 spp
Houston Treants Khorey Kholeman Wardancer 84 spp
Witchington BloodBowl Team Swiss Chedda [UW] Witch Elf 77 spp
Shytown Leapers Buff Dutkis Lineman 8 spp
Las Vegas Sinners Katimox Littleton Lineman 6 spp
Pittsburgh Steelcurs Vincenzo Williams Blitzer 0 spp

Newly Broken

San Dogo Chompers Dashing Dan Helmworth [ND] Catcher 89 spp -AV
Buffaelo Khills Beyond The Veil [DET] Herald 84 spp Niggled
C'attle C'haos Shamar Stephen Minotaur 69 spp -MA
Kansas City Thiefs Itchy Lineman 63 spp -AG
Buffaelo Khills Jim Khelly Pit Fighter 57 spp Niggled
New York Wrecks Edwardo Nuenez Beastman 54 spp -MA
Witchington BloodBowl Team Clinton Portis Lineman 32 spp -MA
Decay Bay Bloateneers Trent Dilfer Rotter 25 spp -AV
Las Vegas Sinners Dhondraen Harris Lineman 16 spp -MA
Atlatl Flechettes Eric Dickerson Skink 12 spp -MA
Hot Arizona Sticky DeAd'ndre Slopkins Rotter 6 spp -MA
Houston Treants Deshaun Watson Thrower 6 spp -ST
Jakesonville Jortles Big Nick Swoles II Thrower 6 spp Niggled
Witchington BloodBowl Team Darrell Green IV Lineman 0 spp -MA


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 02, 2020 - 18:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 10 Dead and Injured

Jakesonville, show us on the doll where the Dolts haven't touched you.

The Dead

Destroit Lynels Chris Spielman Chaos Dwarf 92 spp
Carolin' Reapers Brian Burn Werewolf 65 spp
New York Wrecks "The Smart Guy" Mowry [PEP] Beastman 34 spp
Houston Treants Tytus Howard Lineman 21 spp
Green Baynana Grabbers JK Scott Bonobo 0 spp
Shytown Leapers Oatus Anders Lineman 0 spp
Jakesonville Jortles Dajake Smoot Lineman 0 spp
Miami Coronablights Matt Cole Lineman 0 spp

Newly Broken

Jakesonville Jortles Aaron "The Puller" Fuller Catcher 53 spp
New York Kroaks Bushwacker [IVCC] Blitzer 41 spp
Kansas City Thiefs Martinas Rankin Minotaur 15 spp
San Dogo Chompers Hunting Hound Henry Lineman 10 spp
Houston Treants Bradley Roby Niggled 8 spp
Destroit Lynels Quintez Cephus Hobgoblin 6 spp
Cincinnati Hydras Randal Deathwish Lineman 6 spp


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 06, 2020 - 02:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 11 Dead and Injured

Shocked A new record. 15 dead! Twisted Evil

The Dead

Nawlins Lost Saints Carrier Lineman 124 spp
Dallas Crowbar C'Bo "Death by GFI" Flemister [ND] Runner 78 spp
San Foulcisco 69'ers Joe "the Jet" Perry Werewolf 52 spp
Cincinnati Hydras Fanchizmo Ruedebaker Blitzer 39 spp
New Zigguratland Chariots Kevin Minter Bull Centaur 36 spp
Mangledsota Many-Men Justin Kh'Timberwood [BU] Lineman 33 spp
Cleaved Land Bedlam Crank 'Gunner' Gatski Beastman 27 spp
Titannesse Kraken's Holden McNealy Rotter 11 spp
Icelandic Dolts Friðrik Dolt Lineman 9 spp
Chicago Вeаrds Brenda Urlacher Linewoman 6 spp
Witchington BloodBowl Team Doug Williams II Lineman 6 spp
Denver Brontos Terrell Davis Skink 6 spp
Green Baynana Grabbers Kevin King Bonobo 0 spp
San Foulcisco 69'ers Boss Cockrell [DUKE] Zombie 0 spp
Witchington BloodBowl Team Darrell Green V Lineman 0 spp

Newly Broken

New York Wrecks Jordan Smashkins Minotaur 38 spp -ST
San Foulcisco 69'ers J.R. Wheezy VII Zombie 8 spp Niggled
Houston Treants Darren Fells Lineman 7 spp Niggled
Hot Arizona Sticky Dripstian Klirk Rotter 6 spp -AG
Witchington BloodBowl Team Bobby Mitchell III Lineman 0 spp Niggled
Pittsburgh Steelcurs Chris Kemoeatu Lineman 0 spp -AG
Las Vegas Sinners Nukzus Agholor Lineman 0 spp -MA


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 06, 2020 - 03:52 Reply with quote Back to top

NFC Playoff Race update

With 3 games remaining the playoffs are shaping up.

Seed Team points

1) Green Baynanan 63 points
2) Atlatl 58 points

other division champs

3) LA Glams 51 points
4) NY Kroaks 47 points

Wild card

5) Decay Bay 51 points
6) Destroit 44 points

In the hunt

7) Witchington 41 points
8 ) Dallas 39 points
9T) C'attle 36 points
9T) San Foulcisco 36 points

Probably out
11T) Nawlins 30 points
11T) Beards!! 30 points

Playing for Pride
13) Arizona 26
14) Mangledsota 19
15T) Phulloselfia 13
15T) Carolina 13

In the North vs West match up

In the home stretch the apes will try to hold off the Glams in a head to head week 12, but can probably drop a game and still get the bye. Glams have the West just about locked. C'attle and San Foul need Destroit to stumble to have an outside shot at the wild card, but need lots of help and have no room for error. Destroit has the best remaining schedule they could hope for, but have been tripped up enough in the 2nd half to be worried.

Key games
week 12 Glams vs Grabbers
week 14 Glams vs C'attle is usually important, but not this year.

In the East vs South match up

The Frogs are barely holding off Witchington and Dallas. A week 14 Kroaks vs Team match up is likely for the division with the loser or non winner hoping for the wildcard. Decay Bay hoping to win out including the week 14 game with Atlatl to steal the division. Week 14 in this bracket is must watch!

Key games
Week 12 Atlatl vs Kroaks
Week 12 Decay Bay vs Witchington
Week 14 Atlatl vs Decay Bay
Week 14 Witchington vs Kroaks

My midseason prediction was that the seeds at the halfway point held, with Destroit as the 5 and Witchington jumping into the 6 seed. No reason not to ride that horse to the finish line, but Decay Bay probably proves me wrong.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 06, 2020 - 04:53 Reply with quote Back to top

AFC Playoff Race update

Meh-sure why not

Seed Team points

1- Miami 59 points
2- Icelandic 55 points

other division champs

3- Denver 49 points
4- Cleavedland 48 points


5- Houston 51 points
6- Pittsburgh 45 points

In the hunt

7- Las Vegas 44 points
8- Cincinnati 41 points
9- Jaksonville 37 points

Probably done
10- San Dogo 33 points
11- Buffaelo 31 points

Playing for Pride

12- Kansas City 27 points
13- NY Wreks 24 points
14- hot sticky? 23 points
15- Titannesse 21 points
16- New Zigg 10 points

In the North vs West match up

The north is the most fun division. It's a three way race after Pittsburg has start the back half 1-0-3. Clevland leads but 3rd place Cincy is within a game. Vegas is only five points behind Denver with a key week 13 match up that could easily decide the division.

Key games

Week 12 Clev vs Pitt
Week 12 Vegas vs Cincy
Week 13 Vegas vs Den
Week 14 Clev vs Den

In the East vs South match up

Rats and Norse hold the 1 and 2 spots. Miami is practically locked in for a bye if they can keep rats on the field! Norse will have to fend off Houston but the runner up likely gets a wildcard. Jakesonville seems out of players but not out of the race.

Key games

Just watch Miami because they're the most fun

week 12 vs Jakesonville
week 13 vs the Dolts

The midseason prediction was bad and I should feel bad. But Jakesonville misses the playoffs, Pitt wins the north, Norse fall get banged up a bit and slip to the wildcard, with Houston and Miami getting byes. Sticking with Vegas and Denver recovers from a rough start to take the final wildcard.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 12, 2020 - 20:03 Reply with quote Back to top

NFC playoff race with 2 games to go

(games remaining)

Top seeds

1- Atlatl Flechettes -65 points

(Dallas/Decay Bay) playoff lock and a week 14 tie vs Decay Bay and any points vs Dallas gives them the division and a playoff bye.

2- Green Baynana Grabbers -63 points (NFC North Winners)

(Mangledsota/Arizona) playoff lock. Any points and they win the division. They'll be holding of the Glams and a win and a tie give them the bye.

Division leaders

3- Los Angeles Glams -58 points (NFC West Winners)
(San Foul/C'attle) Just a matter of seeding for the Glams

4- New York Kroaks -47 points

(Carolin'/Witchington) Leading the closest division race. The Witchington game in week 14 is likely for the division and the playoff spot.

Wild Cards

5- Decay Bay Bloateneers -58 points

(Nawlins/Atlatl) A playoff lock, but a win in Nawlins and the division is theirs to lose in week 14. If they don't win in Nawlins they must match the result of Atlatl to have a shot at the division. Winner of the division is likely to get a first round bye.

6- Destroit Lynels - 51 points

(Arizona/Mangledsota) Looking for one tie in the last two games to wrap up a playoff spot.

In the hunt

7- Witchington BloodBowl Team - 41 points

(Phull-o-s'elfia/New York) How are they still around? They win out and they win the division.

8- Dallas Crowbar -39 points

(Atlatl/Nawlins) Need to win out and hope for a tie between Witchington and the Kroaks.

8- C'attle C'haos -39 points

(Chicago/LA) I guess it's theoretically possible? Win out, Destroit loses out. A bunch of other games break their way?


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 19, 2020 - 02:08 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Playoff scenarios with 1 game left to play!


1- Atlatl Flechettes -72 points
(Decay Bay) A game to decide the division. Atlatl needs a win or tie to claim the bye. A loss and they are the 5 seed.

2- Green Baynana Grabbers -70 points (NFC North Winners)
(Arizona) 2 seed with Atlatl win. A win in their final and an Atlatl loss or tie and they take the 1 seed

3- Los Angeles Glams -61 points (NFC West Winners)
(C'attle) Three seed, just waiting to see who they’ll play

4- New York Kroaks -54 points
(Witchington) A win or tie and they are the 4 seed. A loss and they wait on Destroit. A Destroit win and they are out. A Destroit loss or tie and they take the 6 seed.

Wild Cards

5- Decay Bay Bloateneers -65 points
(Atlatl) A game to decide the division and a bye. A loss or tie and they are the 5 seed.

6- Destroit Lynels - 51 points
(Mangledsota) Win and they’re in as the 6 seed. A loss or tie and they need a New york win or tie to hold off Witchington.

In the hunt

7- Witchington BloodBowl Team - 48 points
(New York) Win and they take the 4 seed and the division.


1- Miami 69 points
(Tenn) The 1 seed is theirs. They’ll be hiding in the corner this week

2- Icelandic 61 points
(Wrecks) Need to match Houston’s result to win the division. Needs to match Pittsburgh to hang on to the 2 seed.

3- Pittsburgh 59 points
(HSA) Win and they’re in as the 3 seed. Win with ties by both Icelandic and Houston to take the 2 seed.

4- Las Vegas 54 points
(KC) Can be the 3 seed with a win and Pitt Loss. A loss could see them miss the playoffs.


5- Houston 61 points
(New Zig) Can outpoint Iceland and steal the 2 seed. The 5 seed is secure

6- Cleavedland 55 points Can still win the division with a win and a Pitt loss. A tie gets them the 6 seed but a loss and they are out.

In the hunt

7- Denver 52 points
(Cleavedland) Win and they’re in! Either as the wild card or the division winner. They could tie and win the division with a Vegas loss.

Some crazy seed shake ups are possible in the AFC.


Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Nov 26, 2020 - 19:06 Reply with quote Back to top

Ex-con's Season 25 NBFL Playoff Preview

Yes-yes, it is time for another playoff preview in our beloved NBFL, which means it's time for yet another ex-con curse. Last season saw Meno selected as the Super Bowl champ, only to have his team fold late in the 2nd half of the big game, before falling in overtime. Not to be outdone, in this season's preview, both teams that I predicted to reach the Super Bowl missed the playoffs entirely! The projected winner, the Jakesonville Jortles, got beat up so badly that they would probably qualify for the McNurgles Bowl in the NCBB at this point.

Overall, this is a very different group of playoff teams than we are used to: not a single chaos team qualified, while some wood elves, rats, and norse all made it (av7!!)

If anyone was wondering, some upstart frogs narrowly missed out on winning their division after a late snaked GFI, combined with a supreme tactical foul by a witchelf, resulting in the NFC East going to Witchington. It was all part of the Great Plan, or at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself of!

Regardless, let's take a look at who made it this far and who will (not) be taking home the trophy.


1. Atlatl Flechettes (10-3-1, 79 points)
2. Green Baynana Grabbers (10-1-3, 73)
3. Los Angeles Glams (8-4-2, 68 )
4. Witchington BloodBowl Team (6-5-5, 55)
5. Decay Bay Bloateneers (7-3-3, 65)
6. Destroit Lynels (7-3-4, 58 )

This is quite the field in the NFC, with four teams that have three losses or less over the entire season. The top two teams, Atlatl and Green Baynana earned byes with ten wins each, though they both had a division rival scrap their way in for some potential revenge!

Wildcard Round

(3) Los Angeles Glams (8-4-2) vs (6) Destroit Lynels (7-3-4)

The Glams very quietly only dropped two games all season, and comfortably won the NFC West after eternal rival C'attle had a titillating year. Destroit trudged through injuries all season but will unfortunately be without the services of star bull centaur Big Ben the 3rd, as he took a perm in the season finale. The Glams are missing several pieces as well, but they should have enough left in the tank to get out with the dub.

Prediction: Los Angeles 1 - 0 Destroit Lynels

It won't be pretty, and the game will be closer than it may seem at first glance (the missing players for LA are pretty good); there is a path to victory for the Lynels, of course, since LA does not have a deep roster for the match and I imagine more than one bribe being in play. But, odds are that Stimme finds a way.

(4) Witchington BloodBowl Team (6-5-5) vs (5) Decay Bay Bloateneers (7-3-3)

After a late season-surge that saw them take the division, Witchington is back at full health, though their roster is literally 'stars and scrubs' at this point with so many rookie linos. Will this formula work against theoretically the toughest defense in the league from Decay Bay? The Bloateneers are missing the hard-hitting Jawuan Johnson [TCU] for the contest, but with no inducements currently in play, it will come down to coaching and old-fashioned dice rolls.

Prediction: Witchington 1 - 2 Decay Bay

In what will be a hotly contested game right down to the finish, the hordes of annoyance from the Bloateneers will eventually be too much for the elves to overcome. Garc will go down swinging, but Decay Bay escapes the elvish BS and moves on.

Divisional Round

(1) Atlatl Flechettes (10-3-1) vs (5) Decay Bay Bloateneers (7-3-3)

A rematch of NFC South rivals, the Flechettes have been impressive all season with their efficient TV management and almost outright refusal to lose. Indeed, these two teams met in the season finale, where the ATL emerged victorius. Given that they tied earlier in the year, will the third time be the charm for Decay Bay?

Prediction: Atlatl 2 - 1 Decay Bay

Whatever coach Nelphine is doing this season is working, as he piloted this lizard team to the best record in the league. Not even a pissed off division rival will keep him from advancing!

(2) Green Baynana Grabbers (10-1-3) vs (3) Los Angeles Glams (8-4-2)

Oh my. Here, we are treated to a showdown between two of the most respected NBFL coaches, Grue and Stimme, who have a combined eight Super Bowl titles between them. Both squads also have quite a few injuries on key players, and LA will likely not get through the wildcard round unscathed. But High Elves are far faster than Apes, and if they get that one lucky scatter to go their way, they may be able to put some (literal) distance between them.

Prediction: Green Baynana 2 - 1 Los Angeles (OT)

That is easier said than done, however, and this smells like an instant-classic in the making. In the end, the Apes emerge victorious thanks to their suffocating defense and versatile offense.

NFC Championship Game

(1) Atlatl Flechettes (10-3-1) vs (2) Green Baynana Grabbers (10-1-3)

Though it is a bit rare in the NBFL to have both top seeds make the conference title game, the ATL and the Grabbers were clearly the class of the NFC this year, and they will battle on the pitch for our enjoyment. And, you know, to see who goes to the Super Bowl. Assuming both teams get through their one game relatively healthy, the Flechettes will have a large amount of inducements to try and swing things in their favor. It will also feature a battle of two of the top bigs in the league, as fearsome kroxigor Malcolm "Tree Hugger" Pridgeon [BSU] faces off against the legendary NCBB rat ogre-turned-silverback Joseph Broadnax Jr. [TCU]. The winner of their head-to-head battles will probably not decide the outcome of the game, but we'll pretend it does to help the average unintelligent blood bowl fan be entertained.

Prediction: Atlatl 1 - 2 Green Baynana

The Grabbers are a tough matchup for lizards, as they literally grab their way to victory by keeping the saurii away from each other, and eventually wear them down. Though Nelphine and the scaly bois will fight to the bitter end, not even a baynana peel will slip up Grue, or something.


1. Miami Coronablights (9-3-2, 72 points)
2. Icelandic Dolts (8-4-2, 68 )
3. Pittsburgh Steelcurs (8-2-4, 62)
4. Las Vegas Sinners (6-4-3, 61)
5. Houston Treants (7-5-2, 64)
6. Denver Brontos (8-1-5, 59)

Quite a changing of the guard, as the historically bashier AFC conference has three Av7 teams with the most victory points this season. The skaven and norse secured critical byes, giving them a much needed reprieve from anymore potential damage. Can anyone figure out how to beat their low-tv, inducement heavy strategy?

Wildcard Round

(3) Pittsburgh Steelcurs (8-2-4) vs (6) Denver Brontos (8-1-5)

If you like classic AFC bloodbowl, then this is your playoff game. Both teams have shown the ability to go-big-or-go-home, with a mere three ties between them all year. Both teams are essentially the same TV right now (2480:2450). Both teams are healthy with a deep roster. But goddamnit Jmon, I literally have to pick against you because of something that has no bearing on the game.

Prediction: Steelcurs 10 : 0 Denver


(4) Las Vegas Sinners (6-4-3) vs (5) Houston Treants (7-5-2)

If you like a clash of styles, then do we have a matchup for you. At first glance, it wouldn't seem like Dark Elves and Wood Elves are that fundamentally different. But after looking at the rosters, you understand the big picture. On one side, we have a massive 2820 DE team led by not one, but two Ag6 legends, along with a cadre of excellent and experienced players. On the other side, we have essentially a NCBB team with Stan Jones {MD} leading a roster of neophytes at a spectacular 1670 TV. Inducements are supposed to make up the difference between small gaps of TV (100-300)...can they possibly turn the tide in a game with over one thousand TV difference!?!

Prediction: Las Vegas 2 - 1 Houston (OT)

While the Baz-dakastine offense will do everything in its power to prove the haters wrong again, I don't foresee them having the...no, this is what he would want me to say. I've got to change it.

New Prediction: Las Vegas 1 - 2 Houston

In Baz We Trust.

Divisional Round

(1) Miami Coronablights (9-3-2) vs (5) Houston Treants (7-5-2)

The man who once shocked the NBFL world with low TV rats finds himself starring down a team that is essentially running his playbook, yes-yes. Coach Relezite ran circles around the dreaded AFC East, smoking both the division and the conference in the process. For perhaps the first time all year though, they will be giving away inducements to an opponent; will the inability to cast fire or warplightning flummox the rats?

Prediction: Miami 3 - 2 Houston

By my count, Miami currently has six professional-level players. But Houston has a mere two. And without a ton of inducements of their own, the woodelves may be barking up the wrong tree.

God that was bad.

(2) Icelandic Dolts (8-4-2) vs Pittsburgh Steelcurs (8-2-4)

On paper, this is probably the matchup that coach Asteflix wanted the least. Though he should get several players back during the bye, Orcs could easily remove half of his team from the pitch before fans even get their hotdogs and popcorn. But he should still get some inducements to work with, and no one denies the People's Champ!

Prediction: Icelandic 0 - 2 Pittsburgh

Ok so it turns out that Kzarik denies the People's Champ.

AFC Championship Game

(1) Miami Coronablights (9-3-2) vs (3) Pittsburgh Steelcurs (8-2-4)

I don't want to say that this game will come down to how effective the wizard is, but uh, it would be a bad time for Gandalf to have performance issues in his old age.

Prediction: Miami 2 - 1 Pittsburgh

In what will likely be the shortest game in NBFL history time-wise, two rats are left on the field as time runs out. Fortunately for the skaven, they've had plenty of practice against St4-based teams this season, and will find a way to get the job done again.

NBFL Super Bowl XXV

Green Baynana Grabbers vs Miami Coronablights

In one corner, we have the man who has many, many trophies with frogs trying to capture his first with apes. In the other corner, we have the man that has trophies with necro, human, norse, and vampires, who is looking to add rats to that list. Obviously, we are in for one hell of a game. Assuming relatively good health, the rats will be getting their typical boatload of inducements to help swing things. But this game will ultimately come down to one thing: a late break-tackle 3d blitz on the ball by Joseph Broadnax Jr. [TCU], who pops the ball free for the monkies to fling down-field like a piece of feces, securing the win.

It turns out that the draft-day trade-up by Green Baynana from #16 to #7 to select Mr Broadnax Jr was not some random, fluky, fortuitous event. Nay, it was preordained as part of the Great Plan, as the team they traded up with was of course the New York Kroaks.


Best of luck to everyone in the playoffs as you attempt to thwart fate!

Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.

Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Jan 10, 2021 - 23:38 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season 26 Draft Preview

With another season in the books, it's time to start preparing for the next campaign. And that means another exciting NBFL draft! Made up of mostly (maybe entirely) former NCBB graduates, pro scouts are measuring, interviewing, testing, and perhaps even tentacling these prospective players to see if they are the right fit! The league itself is going through a fair amount of change, as there appears to be eight franchises who are changing either management, roster design, or both! And of course, there are even larger changes on the horizon for the fall season...but we'll worry about that another day! For now, let's look at what each team could do for their first round draft pick:

(Sidenote: at the time of publication, the order of the Expan Draft is unknown. Thus suggestions are made off of fit)

1. Chicago Name TBD / DrPoods / Dwarfs

Poods returns to us in a new location, armed with the first pick in the draft to start his glorious franchise. Unfortunately, he'll have to deal with both Dash (CDs) and Grue (Apes), two teams that are consistent playoff contenders. Still, choosing Dwarfs gives him a fighting chance every week to at least pull out a tie; figuring out how to get some W's will be key.

Main Pick: Nob Carson, Runner (+AG,Side Step,+ST,Sure Feet,Block)

The inability to score reliably is perhaps the biggest weakness of Dwarfs, and while you would like to have some extra movement on a runner, a 6/4/4/8 Block/SS/SureFeet player is a hell of a problem for other teams to take down.

Expan Pick: Otaro Alaka [EnM], Blitzer (+MA,+MA,Guard,Mighty Blow,Tackle)

Speed is the other big weakness of Dwarfs, and getting a double +MA player with the other three key skills on that position is a perfect fit.

2. Arizona Redbulls (?) / Klazam / Chaos Dwarfs

Coach Klaz leaves the NFC South for the brutal NFC West, but hopes the change will let him find the race that fits him better. Now armed with Chaos Dwarfs, he'll have to find a way to deal with both Stimme (High Elves) and Meno (Chaos), who have dominated this division for quite some time.

Main Pick: Buck Slowhand, Bull Centaur (Block,Mighty Blow,Tackle,[Skill],[Skill])

Stuck in a bit of an awkward spot because of all the stat freaks in the Skilled category, but having Bull Centaurs come from Blitzer and Strength categories, Klaz has several ways that he can go. Taking Mr Slowhand would provide a solid, albeit unsexy mobile hitter Bull that would hopefully combo with a more ball-centric Bull from the expan draft.

Expan Pick: Baby Thompson Jr., Bull Centaur (+AG,Block,Dodge,Pro,Side Step)

Again spurned by the awesome players in the Skilled category, Thompson Jr is still a very solid Bull-carrier option.

3. Mangledsota Many-Men / Lorebass / Old World Alliance

The Many-Men are the first attempt at using the Old World Alliance in the NBFL, and the results were, predictably, not great early on. But that will do little to deter coach Lorebass, as he seeks to embarrass a few teams every season by not losing to them.

Possible Pick: Paul Bunyan, Human Blitzer (+AG,Tackle,+MA,+MA,Mighty Blow)

Last season's Human Blitzer draft pick ended up with a niggling injury, and it just so happens that an amazing former Human Blitzer (albeit from an actual Human team) is sitting there for the taking.

4. New York Wrecks / robocoyote / Chaos Chosen

After spending years climbing up the mountain and finally reaching the top by winning Super Bowl 24, it took all of one season to fall down to the bottom again. But hey, no one can take that trophy away. And despite the awful record, the Wrecks still have a core of eight players that is arguably better than anyone else's!

Possible Pick: Seth B, Beastman (+ST,Block,+ST,Side Step,Tackle)

Although he doesn't have Robo's preferred Dodge skill, he would have to still be drunk from the Super Bowl after-party to pass on a player this good.

5. New Zigguratland Chariots / Wolvezzz / Chaos Dwarf

Rejoining the league mid-season, Wolvezzz looks to compete once again for a playoff spot. With both Rel (Skaven) and Robo (Chaos) in the division, he'll need to find a formula that can beat two opposite styles of play.

Possible Pick: Griffin Rilia, Bull Centaur (Block,+ST)

While certainly a long term pick, locking in +ST and having a ton of room to grow (only 23 Spps) could pay dividends down the line.

6. Philadelphia Regal Eagles (?) / Fool / High Elves

Taking over for a franchise that had fallen on hard times, coach Fool looks like he'll keep the same gameplan in place and hope that a new voice inspires better results. Twas only two seasons ago that this team won the division, after all.

Main Pick: Cinco de Mifflin, Catcher (Block,Leap,+ST,Tackle,Strip Ball,[Skill])

The former NCBB star naturally becomes the focal point of this new franchise, immediately becoming a huge sacking threat for turns to come.

Expan Pick: Peter Awesomewife, Blitzer (+AG,Dodge,Guard,Leap,Side Step)

When you think of the ideal support-Blitzer, this would literally be the blueprint for elves.

7. Baltimore Name TBD / Uber / Skaven

Coach Uber joins the NBFL and will perhaps try to emulate the success that Rel had in Miami last season, using Skaven scheme-schemes to success. But in a bruising division with both Malkor (Chaos) and Kzarik (Orcs) having playoff experience, he'll have his work cut out for him.

Main Pick: Longhorn, Gutter Runner (Block,+AG,+AG)

A gutter runner with block and Ag6; you don't need me to analyze that.

Expan Pick: Poison Ivy, Gutter Runner (+AG,+MA,+ST,Block,Sure Hands)

A gutter runner with Ma10, St3, Ag5 and Block/Surehands; you don't need me to analyze that.

8. No-Skincinatti Bungles / Dutchlife / Khemri

Coach Dutch joins our league and immediately sets out to test himself by using Khemri! Granted, there is precedent of the bony bois having success in this division in the past, so who knows?

Main Pick: Easy, Anointed Thrower (Block,Strong Arm,+AG,+ST)

Obviously there is a strong temptation here to take a great Mummy, er, Tomb Guardian (whatever), but you're not going to actually win games without some reliable ball handling.

Expan Pick: Kim Nekroman, Tomb Guardian (+ST,Block,Guard,Mighty Blow,Tackle)

But you definitely don't leave the first round of both drafts without one stud Mummy, and Nekroman is a hell of a player

9. Kansas City Thiefs / Arktoris / Chaos Renegade

Always a tough team to deal with, the Thiefs have nonetheless not had the on-the-field success that they desire. Will they find a way to get over the hump?

Possible Pick: Pillsbury Doughboy, Minotaur (Block,Pro,Dodge,Break Tackle,Guard)

When your roster literally has 15 experienced players and a single rookie, it's pretty easy to figure out which spot to upgrade. And when an amazing Big slots perfectly into place? Even easier.

10. Buffaelo Khills / Jeffro / Daemons of Khorne

Plenty of players have been sacrificed to Khorne when Buffaelo takes the field, but a lot of them have been their own players, making victory fairly elusive. With needs at both Herald and Bloodletter, coach 'Fro has a lot of upgrades that could be made.

Possible Pick: Evan "Boom Boom" Boms, Herald (Mighty Blow,Tackle,[Skill],[Skill])

When you don't start with block, taking a player with two [Skill] rolls covers that need while also letting you fish for a juicy stat increase.

11. Titannesse Kraken's / GotrekSlayer / Nurgle

Perennially not quite at the level of their division rivals, the Krakens nonetheless have a pretty solid roster that could stand to replace their two permed Pestigors.

Possible Pick: Jalen Ostrowsky, Pestigor (Block,+AG,Mighty Blow)

While it is always tough to cut veteran players, swapping out an injured one for a young +Ag pesti could be a good move.

12. Nawlins Lost Saints / BillBrasky / Chaos Renegade

The Saints will have some new division rivals to deal with but still need to find a way to get past those damn lizards in the ATL (Nelphine).

Possible Pick: Amani "Handsy" Danjuma, Ogre (Guard,Block,Stand Firm,Dodge)

Replacing a four normal-skill Big with one that has two doubles is a pretty clear upgrade.

13. C'attle C'haos / MenonaLoco / Chaos Chosen

Similarly abandoned by the dark gods after the Super Bowl 24 chaos mirror-match, C'attle had a subpar season and seeks to go on a warpath to make up for last year's disappointment.

Possible Pick: Juan "Speedy" Gonzalez, Beastman (Block,Sure Hands,+ST,Sure Feet,Side Step)

While maybe not a perfect ball carrier, at worst "Speedy" can be a St4/Sidestep defensive piece that frustrates the opposition.

14. Carolina Name TBD / Waagh / Dark Elves

After joining mid-season, Waagh has moved to his preferred home and has unveiled his hedonistic and sadistic ways! With coach FRSHMN leaving the league for now, there is a vacuum for the #2 spot of the NFC South, needing someone to fill it; why not Waagh?

Main Pick: Koka, Blitzer (Mighty Blow,Guard,Tackle,Pro,Dauntless)

While there are several viable options for quality Blitzers, Koka is versatile enough to deal with both Skinks and Saurii, which is very valuable when trying to take down your division's top lizard!

Expan Pick: Vigilante Shingles, Lineman (+AG,+MA,+ST,Block,Dodge)

While it would be strange to not take a Blitzer or Witch Elf for Expan Pool I, the raw ability of Mr Shingles gives you a good runner without having to actually have a Runner.

15. San Foulcisco 69'ers / Nicodemus1 / Necromantic Horror

The 69'ers have more or less been an average team the past few seasons, overshadowed by others in their division. But they consistently field some of the more unique players in the league, and are a challenge to deal with.

Possible Pick: Dag Gunnvidsson, Wight (Mighty Blow,Tackle,Guard)

If Nico wanted to start replacing some of his permed players, this is a decent spot to start.

16. San Diego/Los Angeles Name TBD / Amon242 / Nurgle

Coach Amon is trading the deserts of Arizona for the beaches of San Diego or the nightlife of Los Angeles (not sure if he stated which Charger location he would theme around) and hoping for more success.

Possible Pick: MD The Annhilator V, Bloater (Block,Tackle,Guard)

With one rookie Bloater, coach Amon can choose from a few different styles to upgrade to.

17. Jakesonville Jortles / mrt1212 / High Elf

After getting absolutely destroyed on camera (shameless youtube plug) for everyone to watch for eternity in last year's season opener, things really never got better for the Jortles. While the core of the teams that went to three straight Super Bowls is gone, the mad scientist that led them is still here.

Possible Pick: The Good Boz, Blitzer (Tackle,+AG,Guard)

Letting a U-Dub graduate end up in mrt's hands feels wrong, especially when they're this good.

18. Dallas Crowbar / OTS / Dwarfs

Close to making the playoffs last season, Dallas looks to take the final step in their third full campaign. Can the Dawi finally cross out old grudges with the speedy elves and leapy frogs in their division?

Possible Pick: Dillinger, Runner (Dodge,+MA,Block)

After losing their second runner late last season, picking up a replacement that has some speed isn't so bad.

19. New York Kroaks / ex-convict / Slann

The Kroaks narrowly missed the playoffs in their inaugural season, but will they fair so well when the frog armor inevitably holds up worse this time around?

Possible Pick: Lilly, Lineman (Wrestle,+AG,Strip Ball)

Yet another tool to threaten opposing cages with.

20. Tampa Bay Name TBD / Arcayn / Skaven

The rat infestation is in full force, as suddenly we have three Skaven teams in the league after having none for a while. Whether teams will be able to adapt to their fast-paced style and mischievous ways will be fun to watch.

Main Pick: Dennis "Flash" Gordon, Gutter Runner (+MA,Sure Feet,Sprint,Leap,Catch)

Who else knows how to best use a college gutter runner than the same person who coached him there?

Expan Pick: Clayton Greasers, Gutter Runner (+AG,Block,Fend,Side Step,Sure Hands)

Mr Greasers would be an ideal "see ball? get ball" candidate for these rats.

21. Cleaved Land Bedlam / captainmalkor / Chaos Chosen

Able to make the playoffs their first season, and just barely missing it in their second, the Bedlam have established themselves as an above average team. Can the draft help them take the next step?

Possible Pick: Taylor Conley, Beastman (+ST,Block,Tackle)

With few glaring needs, coach Malkor can take the best available player, and getting +ST this far into the draft is a steal.

22. Woodington Barkskins / Garcangel / Wood Elves

After success with both Pro and Dark Elves in Washington, coach Garc seems to think that he might as well try the next flavor!

Main Pick: Veronica Surehands, Catcher (+AG,Block,Guard)

Here's the guard-assist player to tag team with the Wardancers.

Expan Pick: Vin Riddick, Wardancer (+AG,+AG,+MA,+ST,Tackle)

And here's the Wardancer from hell that Garc lucks into when he gets the #1 pick in the Expan Draft!

23. Pittsburgh Steelcurs / Kzarik / Orc

The course of last season, and perhaps the franchise as a whole, was forever altered when this unlikely play happened. (Shameless plug #2)

Possible Pick: Big Richard, Blitzer (Mighty Blow,Guard,Grab,Side Step)

While obviously not a replacement for the departed Egads, Mr Richard actually fits quite well with the two frenzy-blitzers already on the team.

24. Houston Treants / Bazakastine / Wood Elves

Last season Baz tried to push the limits of low TV inducement play in the NBFL (not necessarily by his own choice) and still made the playoffs with essentially a one-player team. Just imagine what he can do with two!

Possible Pick: Raging Ralph, Wardancer (+MA,Mighty Blow,Juggernaut)

A couple of options here, but extra speed that could turn into a huge surf threat (if he takes Frenzy at 51) would be a fun piece to have.

25. Los Angeles Glams / Stimme / High Elves

The Glams have been a model of success for years, but injuries have finally caught up to them and the team desperately needs some reinforcements.

Possible Pick: Bradbury Robinson, Blitzer (Tackle,Mighty Blow,Dodge,Leap)

Needing not one but two Blitzers, coach Stimme could choose one to his liking here late in the first round.

26. Las Vegas Sinners / Doofr / Dark Elves

The Sinners have been a playoff contender for years and have been on the cusp of getting to the conference championship for a while now. Can they finally reach their goals while their two Ag6 legends live?

Possible Pick: Ethan "Thunder" Rols, Blitzer (Dodge,Guard,Stand Firm)

When you need two blitzers, snagging one with two doubles is a good move.

27. Miami Coronablights / Relezite / Skaven

Spawning the rat revolution, coach Relezite took his team as far as he could in their second season. With the core of the team relatively healthy, can they strike while the iron is hot?

Possible Pick: Angus "Hmm" MacGyver, Gutter Runner (Side Step,Block,Diving Catch,Sure Feet,+AG)

While maybe not a perfect player, having another +Ag gutter could be too good to pass up.

28. Atlatl Flechettes / Nelphine / Lizardmen

Very quietly (somehow) the Flechettes were the best team in the league last season, leading the pack with a whopping 79 points. With the saurii in tact, will they look for an upgrade there or look for something special in the skink department?

Possible Pick: Taylor Thompson, Skink (Block,+ST)

Lots of options for a fun skink (and I do know that Nelphine likes passing skinks), but Thompson would be a nice pick.

29. Denver Brontos / jmonforton / Lizardmen

Coach Jmon has slowly but steadily gotten his team further and further in the playoffs, culminating in an AFC Championship game appearance last season. Can they get back to and win that game this year?

Possible Pick: Nathan Cragnose, Saurus (Tackle,Dodge,Side Step)

A saurus one mere Spp away from Block, who is in the player mold (dodge+sidestep) that Jmon seems to prefer? Sold.

30. Green Baynana Grabbers / happygrue / Simyin

After a bold trade-up last season to take legendary NCBB player Joseph Broadnax Jr. [TCU] (who had all of two casualties last season; expect that number to increase significantly), the Grabbers fell just short of making it to the Super Bowl.

Possible Pick: Little Timothy, Chimpanzee (Dodge,Diving Tackle,Tackle)

Needing a new Chimp, coach Grue adds another defensive piece to his roster.

31. Destroit Lynels / dashergeaux / Chaos Dwarf

After making it all the way to the Super Bowl as a wildcard team (which I do have the video for, but haven't yet uploaded it to youtube), the Lynels saw their title dreams slip away about midway through the first half. Still, the team isn't far from where it wants to be.

Possible Pick: Fred Abbott, Bull Centaur (Block,Mighty Blow,[Skill])

When you have a Bull for offense, you need his partner to be good at defense. Down the road, Fred can be great at defense.

32. Icelandic Dolts / asteflix / Norse

Somehow, someway, Asteflix did the impossible and won the NBFL with a rookie Norse team. The People's Champ played well, used inducements to his advantage, and had his core players make big plays all season.

Possible Pick: Thompson, Ulfen-whatever (Block,Guard)

Replacing the -Ag on an Ulf is really the only thing coach Aste needs from the draft, and getting a player at 28 spps could reward him with a nice bonus if he gets lucky at 31.

Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.

Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 12, 2021 - 13:14 Reply with quote Back to top

Pfft. Khleveland?

All you had to mention was the mighty New Tomb Jetz.

"Gallifrey falls no more"
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