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Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Apr 29, 2021 - 13:46 Reply with quote Back to top

The end of the season is nigh and as we all dust off our Tuxedo’s waiting for Silkys Shout where we all go and get our wonderful prizes and eat quail eggs while listening to Sea elves make long acceptance speeches.I am the Mascara Snake long time session clarinet player for the Silky’s band the Tentacles and now the proxy pseudo commissioner. I am here with the much under utilised sideline commentator the hung who was hung out to dry Mr Chuckles.

Chuckles what do you make of the season?

Well since you have decided to blow all the money on listening to strange ambient Music instead of following the Secret league grass roots it is hard to fathom. A cracking season though with lots of highs and lows.

Lets us have a look at the squads currently lining up for the Sucker cup Chuckles me friend.


Larry Vaughans Love Spawn

A legacy side this squad but they have only ever threatened the Mullet and never gone past the first round of the Sucker cup. Have they got it in them to cruise through to the final Chuckles.

Hell no Snake! This side will once again end up chewing on their own squad as they amble into mediocrity (steady on-ed) once again. They may give someone a scare but that is unlikely. The chat of a Blender Monkees Love Spawn final is just the idle chatter of the Morgue workers. If they have any hope it will be from the behemoth that is Hooper with an average of nine hits a game he will get his teeth into something and the coach will hope that something isn’t Mrs Taft.

The Cheese Eating Blender monkees

The team every team hates to face and holders of the OSBBL blender their brutality on the pitch is only rivaled by the harsh way they treat their slaves. What do you reckon Chuckles.

Well these Rat entertain and are truly frightening. They could sneak into the semi finals if they don’t just concentrate on devouring everything on the pitch and pick up the ball. What are the odds on them meeting the nemesis the Dirty Stinking Rats in round 1? Snuggles is the Rat Ogre everyone wants to avoid truly beast like.


The Putrid crew have been hanging around for a couple of seasons now and threatened the Sword Semi finals though the Dwarven march of Beers Beards and Bikini’s put their hopes to an end. They are another Skaven team nobody wants to face or quite knows how to handle. Not as lethal as their Moulder Cousins and not as fast as their Eshin brethren they still pose a unique threat. If the draw is kind they will make an impact on the competition. Leopold is the Monk nobody wants to get near and he holds the key to their success.

Beers Beards & Bikinis

These Iron breakers are nasty, very nasty. They even have some pace in the back line. The crowds chant as they slowly march “1-0 to the pacy dwarfs 1-0 to the pacy dwarfs” and usually they do just that. Every little bit of Iron doing its bit in a unison. One player after playing them said it is like chewing Musket balls. The scoring comes from the two Blitzers, Broudgran and Jondron the twin threat. I think all fans of Osbbl would like to see a battle between the two biggest ever Cas sides in the Osbbl Beer and Cheese is a match made to happen.

Delicious Heresy

They are back the deviants of the Deserted Isles. With their reincarnated Keeper of secrets. Many a pundit has tried to predict the behaviour of this shower and all we can predict is the after parties will have more stories to be share (amongst other things-ed) than anything they do on the pitch. They still hold the ominous record of the most groin strains in a season. Everyone know this commentary team loves Tom Thundercock (nee-Banjo) but his ego has been surpassed by the Banjojazzler, though prone to hiding in dark KO boxes to startle apocertharies. How will they go this season, I would have them as a dark horse if I was a betting Hung.

Tahlasee Rattlers

The Rattlers the first snakes of Osbbl, apart from the current company! These one season veterans and Smack survivors have looked threatening but is it all the dancing to Snake Jazz and bizzare rituals they go through. Cameron Sapp was a favourite of ours in the past alas his son cuts a lesser figure. Four eyed Ryan Stanley is the one to watch but don’t stare. If they pick up one of the rookie sides in the opening round they might get a slither on meet something big and they are out.

Gun Boat Diplomacy!

Their heavily modified P-class corvette is back ashore and The 3rd Viscount Palmerston is already trying to get back on the after dinner circuit to plump the coffers. These Sea elves made up of the Palmerston family and assorted diplomats and bureaucrats that hang on their coat tails. They are known for their passing game and Ostrich Plume will be looking to show his hand is still worthy of the hand of Cod award. I can see this squad being the runners up in the strong field.

The Mounkain Kings

The Ghoultra’s the frothing fans of the Kings are back and the talk of the late night graveyard is the mysterious John Wayne, the mercenary Zombie who handed them their first ever Wilkinson Sword with a stunning boot has been tracked down and will return. Either way can they take their first ever Sucker cup this pundit says yes. Vârcolac will be the one to lead them to victory and the Ghoultras once again will send messages to their exiled home Mounkain trying to impress those that shun them.

All up in your Swayze

The new lads on the Block who have swept the awards and now are only 2 games away from taking the Wilkinson sword they still have a lot to do but they had a fantastic season. The Squad will go well in this competition and with Nuffle behind them should Ghost to the Semi’s. Ghost is right as the High Elf Blitzer is the Tilean’s talisman and will be a target. All up in your Swayze will certainly do that.

Banda Sagrada de Magritta

Finalists in season 4 the Myrdia are a side not to be trifled with and I am sure they will look to march into the finals once more. The landscape of Osbbl is much changed since they brought their ferocious style of play. Ademar Garcia Menendez is a true allrounder with a thumping blocking and blitzing play an arm for a pass and the ability to score. Watch out for him, an early bath for the Banda though going out in the Quarters methinks.

Troutmask replica

The Mascara Snakes favourite side. The last time we saw this squad was when the Cheese eating Blender Monkees were throwing crab offal up and down the pitch in a triumphant celebration before they inevitably couldn’t get their tentacles on the Mullet. The Troutmask looked threatening a couple of seasons ago but with no crabs they have no hope. Teams will be hoping to have an opening draw against this side. If the have one hope it would be Moonlight on Vermont.

Little Trouble in Big Cathay

This team had a middling run in season 5 just avoiding the Mullet and earning the title of perianal underachievers. They were one of the first sides to meet the Cheese eating Blender Monkees and thus thought twice about entering the league proper. Do not underestimate this squad they are a team that can put a run in and certainly should cruise to the second round. David Lo Pan is the player to watch and is just about always likely to cross the white wash for a touchdown.

DSR (The Dirty Stinking Rats)

DSR twice Mullet winners including their defence of it this year. This squad is lighting and also have a passing game. Give them a halfling they will take a fullun (Oh Mr Chuckles you are so funny-ed). The Rats have not had a great season or even a great last season but they have shown their ability to come up tops in knockout competitions. Even with 4 rats or less on the field they have managed to score. I would definitely see this side in at least a semi final and should the draw fall their way a final appearance may be on the cards.

Half cut

The Holders are back after a long and hearty party in the woods. These dryads have shown they have everything in their tool kit to come up trump's now, despite their previous efforts being cut down early. Half cut will cause a number of problems and Stoli Poli is a real Birch to deal with both on the pitch and in her after match shrieking interviews. Will they be the first team to defend the Sucker cup. No, I do not think so.

Friendly Men In Sharp Suits

This year has seen some leeway in the original rulings on Osbbl and we have our first ever novices allowed in. The Mascara snake says…….. Well lets us let him clear that up later. The worshipers of Malal are welcomed into the Sucker cup and little is known about these strange worshipers of a bizarre deity apart from the uniform is sharp. Athena Ackmard will be wanting to harvest souls but being on debut in round 1 of the Sucker Cup will be a hell of a welcome to Osbbl and possibly a quick exit.


Much on the same ticket we bring you Painnnn. The second wild card handed out by the Mascara Snake. Another Clan Moulder side looking to make an impression on the competition. Again debutants in round 1 it will be tough but nobody will be wanting to face that many Rat Ogres and who is to say that Stone Cold Crunchstin can not be the one of the best in the league?

So that sums up the squads battling it out for the prestigious Cup. Whatever happens, the romance of the Cup is here to stay.

Thank you Mr Chuckles and well done. On the Wild cards yes this was a new ruling for me allowing fresh teams in from non league squads desperate to get in on the action. Turns out everybody loves an underdog and these sides will bring some banter or perhaps they will just be a speed bump for the big squads.

Anyhow folks for full coverage hop on to our Cabbal discord site and witness the mayhem that is.

(Looking to kick off 9/5/2021- Round 1, 16/5/2021-Round 2, Semis 23/5/2021, Final 30/5/2021 OSBBL season 7 starts 30/5/2021)

Stay weird Forks.

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: May 07, 2021 - 10:27 Reply with quote Back to top

Putrid Proud 2-0 Larry Vaughans Love Spawn

The motley shower from Slipper Island fall from grace again never having cruised through the 1st round of the Sucker Cup before yet again.

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: May 14, 2021 - 13:11 Reply with quote Back to top

Return of the Kings.

The Mourkain Kings have only been talked about in the hushed tones since they fled the land with the Wilkinson Sword. Silky still on sabbatical is thought to of found them playing in a little known league and offered them big money and Vârcolac free reign to his blood banks.

Alas they returned to put an end to the Mahrak squad die die die!! Having a run in the cup. Charm offensive of the Mahrak was quoted as saying "For @@@@ sake You F##%% edjit you know how to tackle and I don't care what your friend has!!" In a quote that was far for charming. ”

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: May 15, 2021 - 04:12 Reply with quote Back to top

No diplomacy shown for the Sea Elves they just cut loose. Troutmask replica were all at sea a mercenary Giant crab brought in to steady the ship. What were they thinking. The Sea Elves cruise through to the Quarter finals how will they fare?

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: May 15, 2021 - 09:43 Reply with quote Back to top

Henri de Toulouse Lautrec AKA the Bastard Squig is back this Mangler Squig was very nearly the most violent thing ever seen in OSBBL that is till Libby Schuss turned up and killed all the innocent squig herders who make up the South Paw Stormers.

In a true David Vs Goliath match the South Paw Stormer take on the Sucker Cup holders Half Cut. Who is David and who is Goliath well hopefully Henri will answer that question. Though every interview he has done so far he has chewed the interviewer.

Joined: Mar 30, 2005

Post   Posted: May 15, 2021 - 09:44 Reply with quote Back to top

Where is the link to the tournament?

[SL] Rookie Rumble - New teams ONLY - ALWAYS recruiting

Joined: May 23, 2019

Post   Posted: May 15, 2021 - 11:09 Reply with quote Back to top

The Delicious Heresy changing rooms was a heaving mass of sweating, bleeding, ecstatic bodies as the team celebrated their victory over the minions of Malal, the Friendly Men in Sharp Suits. Mind you, the changing rooms were a heaving mass of sweating, bleeding bodies after every game, win or lose. Or pre-game for that matter. And team trainings were pretty sweaty and bleedy too. It was kind of the team thing. Slaanesh worshippers were like that.

Still, the vibe was just that little bit more positive and upbeat as the team celebrated with unspeakable depravities, breaking approximately 83 local laws in the process. Not that the team cared, the authorities knew better than to interfere, after that group of Judges disappeared into one post-match celebration and turned up three days later, tattooed, branded, scarred, drained and with only a tenuous grasp on their sanity. The team knew that the next game would be tough, Ironbreaker Dwarves with their gromril armour (so hard to hug and cuddle and fondle, and Dwarves weren't very good kissers, and that beer breath!). But that was next week's problem. Besides, they had a few tools to open up that armour, and then further tools to use on the Dwarves inside.

From the warp, Slaanesh looked down with mild amusement on their followers, as they players worshipped them in the manners they best enjoyed. Slaanesh glanced over at Nuffle, their fellow god, and with whom they'd been watching the game. "Thank you my sweet, for dabbling in the game as you did, so pleasing to see fortune favour the brave, or at least, the depraved."

Nuffle just smiled his enigmatic smile and said "You know I'll just screw you over next time".

Slaanesh smiled happily and stretched their lithe body and said "I wouldn't have it any other way".

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: May 17, 2021 - 11:35 Reply with quote Back to top

The Southpaw Stormers ripped out of the their fields on South Paw farm and took on the Sucker cup holders Half cut.

They looked Sharp with Henri "The Bastard Squig" troubling the line for about 5 minutes before being escorted away to the KO room.

The Halfcut go through but they will remember this tussle.

Ian Clumsyfire laid to rest but unfortunately the cremation got out of hand.
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