Match accounts of the Drakwald Death Squad -

First game played against Varhaug BBC Norse team. 7 K/O's, 2 Badly Hurt, 1 Seriouse Injury and 1 Dead. Who said Norse were tough?



2nd game against EastCowboys Human team. Killed his ogre, badly hurt 3 others. He gave up after half time and retired his team. Can't say I all together blame him.



3rd game against Khem-Spawn-Ri Khemri team. First turn, first play of the game, and The Gooch stuns himself and wont get off the floor the entire first half (damn bonehead!). The Blitzers get slapped about by skeletons, even when they gang up on one. Catcher can't dodge, and Jobe Konrad takes most of the match to pick up the ball, only to fumble it and drop it in his own endzone....
The DDS coach was quite glad when a Blitz-Ra came along and broke his hip.


4th game against Green Avalanche Orc team. The Gooch badly hurts himself this time. 2 players get fouled to death, and the rest of the team are determined to hit themselves to save the opposition the bother. Green Avalanche's black orcs made top notch catchers the entire game. Neary scraped a draw, but they scored on the final turn.

5th game against Warriors goes to Heaven Chaos team. Down goes The Gooch, again, most of the blitzers end up badly hurt or worse. The DDS thought they'd at least injure a few on the final line up, but it wasn't to be. Only got past a beastmans armour once the entire match... Still, could've been worse. The DDS need some softer meat to squelch.

6th game against Kislev Hornets Amazon team. First half was very competetive, lots of horrific luck and miracle plays by both sides. Started the Second half 1-1, and it all went wrong. One catcher badly hurt himself dodging, the other by going for it. spent the last 5 turns making one action, failing, and ending my go. Started off fun, went down hill fast. Tho the Kislev Hornets coach was good fun to play against.

7th game against Nenes Pederosos Skaven Team. After seriously injuring 2 of my blitzers, I started to get worried. However Gooch to the rescue! He killed a lineman and badly hurt another to help even things. He must have thought that his job was done though, as he got Badly Hurt himself next turn. Very close game. All for grabs until the last move of the last turn.

8th game against Khaotikus Chaos team. Another close match which Khaotikus scoring on the final whistle. Lots of blood and fouling. Gooch is on a roll with another casualty. Excellent match

9th game against Diabolical Experiments Chaos Dwarf team. Ok, I lost...again. Good fun all round, inflicting a Serious Injury (finaly!) on the last roll of the game. The only other note worthy thing is my Captain Janus Bromley finally got knocked out. The worse this far is a serious stunning. Though to be fair it was a fan who chucked a rock, not the other team, so I don't think it
should count.

10th game against By Royal Assent Amazon team. Started strong with the DDS KOing 5 players, then the crowd throw a rock at my Captain who was thought dead until the doc got a look at him. This meant that the death and injury of 2 more Blitzers was unavoidable. The Gooch did his fainting act again and hid in the Dug out. It started off so well...

11th game against Occidentals Wood Elf team. WE DIDN'T LOSE!!! Ok, we didn't win either, but still an improvement. All sorts of fun with woodelves going splat all over the place but shooting the ball up and down the field and nigh on uncatchable. The Occidentals pulled it back to a draw with some brilliant dodging and a handy long pass. Not much you can do about that really.
Bugger still made more money than me though.

12th game against Fighting the FAT High Elf team. It should be noted that the DDS coach was high on painkillers when this match took place, but even then the Elves couldn't be faulted. The only hiccup in the Elfy plans was fumbling the ball near their endzone, which at least allowed the DDS to regain some dignity with a touchdown. Still, the most enjoyable (though highest) loss to date. And the DDS have had a few!

13th match against Dead For Fun Undead team. The opposing coach must be taking the 'undead' thing seriously, as he refused to speak the entire match. Not even to say goodbye! The fact that they won is a serious bone of contention within the DDS, who look forward to stuffing them at a later date. Highlights include a killing and seriously injuring (both regenerated) and The Gooch catching the kick off ball! This new show of dexterity has obviously paid off, as he can now dodge as well as he can block!

14th match against 125.Armor Attack From Mars Chaos team. A very close game with some great plays from both teams. Only the fans didn't seem to think so as the DDS earnt no money this match and some fans left them in disgust. Despite inflicting the only casualty for his team, Blitzer Henrich Korcut as been dropped to Assistant Coach due to numerous injuries. It's starting to look bleak for the Drakwald Death Squad.

15th game against Underdark Fishbusters Darkelf team. DDS WIN!!!. The DDS patron god Jebus has finally shined his light upon the stricken team. Man of the match must be Blarius Banstone. Initially thought seriously injured, Blarius was revived my the team doc. It appears the doctor may have slipped him a little something extra, because as soon as he was up, Blarius sprinted across the pitch, sacked the Underdark thrower (with a little help from Janus), dived in between two other players to pick up the ball and ran on for the winning touchdown!

16th match Warpstone Point Runner Runners. What a fiasco. Jeramia manages to stand in between a gutter runner and the end zone and and gets ripped apart by an angry crowd when he gets barged into them. Blarious manages to get injured, and most of the rest of the team and up hiding, hurt, in the dug out. The main blame must go on the DDS coach though, who was clearly not focused on the game. The upshoot of morale from the previous game has plumeted to dangerous levels for the DDS.

17th match Mittergorge Heretics Chaos team. Could the DDS be finding their feet? A total thrashing for the mutated ones. 5 badly hurt, a chaos warrior crippled for life and a beastman dead. Man of the match is the newest signing, Blitzer Baphomet Thelios with 1 casualty and 2 touchdowns. Special mention must also be made to Janus Bromley, who finanlly managed to injure someone other than himself.

18th match against Ye Olde Pub Night. Jebus is fickle. Jebus is cruel. Every dodge failed. Every block thrown injured the DDS member throwing it. Every 'go for it' fell over, and the Gooch spent most of the match in a world of his own, before waking up, attacking the closest player and falling on the floor, where he spent the rest of the match. Even the opposing coach was sympathising by the end. The fans won back with the previous matches entertainment have left again. Probably the same ones that killed Jeramia.

19 match against Badly Drawn Boyz Woodelf team. The game was going well with the DDS 1 up, then Janus Bromley trips going for a 2nd touchdown and badly hurts himself. This is soon followed by Forvus Gorge badly hurting himself trying to block a woodelf catcher. The DDS struggled valiantly with Blarius scoring a second touchdown in the dying seconds of the match, but it wasn't enough. This is the final straw for Janus Bromley in a long list of incompetence. He has been replaced as Captain of the team by Igor Irongrad.

20th match against Me 2 Chaos Dwarfs. A respectable draw from the DDS. Igor's new training program must be working, as not only did the 'Sqaud avoid a defeat, but it was Janus Bromley who scored the equalising touchdown. Forvus Gorge, the other embarrassment from last match, has also pulled his socks up with his time down the gym having finaly paid off. The fans seem to think so at least, as they gave him the MVP.

21st match against StrawberryKiss' Friends I Chaos team. Fouled to oblivion. The DDS didn't give up, but with The Gooch asleep at the wheel and players being carted off in pairs, it was tough going. A truly stupid play in the second half conceded an unecessary 3rd touchdown. Only the casualties from Igor and Diomed kept the the DDS' long suffering fans from leaving in disgust. The newest signing, DDS Catcher Conelius, has managed to injure himself in his first game, and as such has been let go. Harsh. but this struggling team can't afford to carry anyone.

22nd game against Sentinels of JUSTICE Ork team. The DDS are learning, but will it be fast enough? with 1 TD and 2 Cas on their side, the team expected to at least keep the fans content and make a bit of money. Alas, no. More have left the team. It seems only a win will do. No pressure