It was a crisp summer day in the Border Princes as a small party of Bretonnians trudged their way along a dirt path. 4 knights in their shiny (but strangely mobile) armour, 4 squires running behind carrying banners and 4 filthy peasants with bad teeth and worse smell. Their red and white livery fluttering in the breeze. In the middle of the path stood a hooded figure, the party halted in front of the stranger.

"Make way you wretched vermin!" shouted the lead knight from atop his horse as he struck a multitude of 'heroic' poses. "You are blocking the way."

"Roll sixes." uttered the stranger.

"Now listen here you, I have no time for riddles. I am on a noble quest for the NAF Grail."

"Roll pows." the stranger said again, not even acknowledging the pompous knight with the ridiculous mustache.

"Argghhh!" the knight shouted, "Marc Throwec!"

At command one of the dirty peasants made his way forward "Yes, M'Lord."

"You promised me you would guide me to the great Wizard Malmir and it's been months and still nothing and all we have found is this weaselturd who stands before us. Come here so I may strike you for your incompetence you knave." Marc approached the noble whimpering as he prepared for a firm slap but before the knight had time the stranger raised his head and a booming voice echoed out.

"Be still you fool!"

"Fool!? Me? I am the great Stella d'Artois, player manager of the greatest Bretonnian team to ever grace the field and future NAF champion! You will learn to treat me with respect you ragamuffin! Seize him!!"

On order the peasants swarmed forwards towards the stranger who simply raised his hand before a bolt of lightning leaped from his fingers and hit the lead peasant who was a bruising brute of a man and dirtiest of the dirt called Carl S Berg. Moments later the peasant disappeared, only his raggy clothes remained in a pile on the floor. The Bretonnians looked on in shock, as the pile began to move before a bright green toad emerged. The pompeous knight looked up at the stranger.

"It is you isn't it, I have found the great wizard and champion of past..." as one of the peasants pocketed the toad for a later snack.

"It is I yes, the great Malmir! And rule three is you don't need a bench." Malmir lowered his hood revealing his face.

The Bretonnians stepped back in horror... "Oh Christ-er! You are even more ugly and disgusting than the legends said, you truly are of foul appearance! But if I must face your ghastly face in order to complete my quest so be it."

"We have much work to do." Malmir clicked his fingers and a great purple chest appeared beside him. He opened it and began rummaging inside as training helmets and white boards and balls flew out. He then pulled out what he was looking for.

"A camera? Why do we need such sorcery for training?"

"Because we don't have much time and so we need.... A MONTAGE."


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After my entry into the NAF Dungeonbowl with Brets I've decided I will be taking them again at the next NAF tournament which may be over Easter. Malmir also very kindly offered to give me some advice and as such I will be playing a few Bretonnian league games to get some play time under my belt. If anyone would be interested in a game I would be very grateful!

I hope you enjoyed this fluff and I will be doing the same thing as I did at the last tournament but do it as an actual in fluff match report as opposed to me just talking through the games.

I promise I will stop the Bret blog posts now XD