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cameronhawkins
Last seen 9 years ago
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Archive

2014

2014-09-05 02:39:31
rating 5.5
2014-08-31 23:37:55
rating 4.8
2014-03-08 21:43:42
rating 5.9
2014-01-23 10:58:06
rating 4.8

2013

2013-10-31 20:29:01
rating 4.8
2013-05-06 20:35:28
rating 5.3

2012

2012-12-06 17:43:21
rating 4.6
2012-11-13 16:13:09
rating 4.9
2014-01-23 10:58:06
12 votes, rating 4.8
Who doesn't love a massacre?
This was a truly magnificent game. A great end for some great players.

A degree of failure and carnage I have never witnessed before on FUMBBL, by myself or another. There have certainly been games with more deaths, but has there ever been such a high number and ratio of deaths...? The Underworld made 8 casualty rolls with 5 RIPs, while the Undead suffered 1 casualty, 1 RIP, making 6/9 casualties rolled as deaths, and only the good players died! Not bad eh? The Lost Children's TV dropped from 161k to 104k.

But that is all just boring number stuff.
What was so hilariously impressive here was the consistent incremental increase of awful things visited upon the Underworld over the course of the match. Whenever I thought "Well, it can't get much worse," it did. One thing you can say about Underworld–– they will always surprise you!

Itinerary went as follows:

•Turn 1, in the opening foul, a freshly-skilled rat is killed and and raised as a zombie.
I actually considered Apoing him. Quaint, in retrospect.

•Turn 2, our best player (Prosigoreous, Superstar thrower) rolls 1, 1 on a 2+ dodge, breaks and goes BH.
Again, Apo considered, but maybe we can recover.

•Turn 3, our +stat goblin gets killed.
...still small potatoes. Nothing we can't handle.

•Turn 6, our Blitzer fails a dodge and kills himself. Apo is brought out, but he can't help.
Ok.... pretty crappy ... but luckily, we have another one, identically skilled.

•Turn 7, our Team Captain gets killed–– a Wrestle/Tackle/Claw/MB/Kick linerat.
Now we've broken into one-of-a-kind players. Still... he was bloaty... so maybe there's a silver lining...? maybe....?

•Turn 9, our other Blitzer is Seriously Injured by a mummy.
No team left. No game.

•Turn 12, Wrecker is killed by a foul.

Wrecker was the greatest living Underworld player in all of FUMBBL, and–– with the exception of Nestoroide's infamous Legend–– the greatest troll of any troll variety (Orc, Goblin, Norse, Underworld, Chaos, Snotling) of all time, across all FUMBBL divisions.

So, rest well, my departed friend. I apologize for threatening to fire you in every match, even though you did usually deserve it. I wish the last thing I had to remember you by wasn't double skulls, but I will reluctantly forgive you.

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Comments
Posted by cdassak on 2014-01-23 11:04:18
To answer your question:
Usually the one that is on the receiving end of the massacre
:P
RIP to all those great playerz...
Posted by Naru1981 on 2014-01-23 12:33:31
blog is a little late lol.
this happened 11 days ago hahaa
see you have another skilled up blitzer now though :)
Posted by the_Sage on 2014-01-23 12:38:26
Helluva tough game. Great troll you lost there.
Posted by the_Sage on 2014-01-23 12:39:34
On a side note: kudos to your opponent for 'rebooters' as a name for an undead team. That is good on so many levels!
Posted by Chainsaw on 2014-01-23 13:23:10
@Stanley: I think these things are easier to smile back on after a few days to recover from the initial shock!

I think the true evolution of a BB coach occurs when you reach the point that being on the receiving end of such epic dice is something to be marveled at, not hated.
Posted by Calcium on 2014-01-23 13:26:15
Concession = weak
Posted by DukeTyrion on 2014-01-23 15:04:19
I am not sure you love a massacre that much.

Last time we played you went silent after taking a couple of injuries and didn't speak for the rest of the match. You even left without saying anything >.<
Posted by Mr_Foulscumm on 2014-01-23 18:54:14
So what you're saying Duke is that he is a polite opponent? I know that when I get upset I keep my mouth shut, because yeah, I might not be having fun but that's no reason for my opponent to take an ear full of whine.

My opponent isn't the one rolling my dice after all. :D

(at least I try to shut up) :D
Posted by cameronhawkins on 2014-01-23 19:01:21
@Calcium––
At the time we finished, I had 2 goblins remaining on the pitch, and exactly enough cash in treasury to cover the loss of dead players. My opponent played slowly. What possible reason would I have to continue? I value my time a bit more than that.

@DukeTyrion––
I didn't chat with you in that game because in our previous match, you had been exceptionally rude and unpleasant, and when chatting with a FUMBBL coach becomes an unpleasant experience, I generally cease doing it.
Posted by DukeTyrion on 2014-01-23 19:58:22
Really? I don't think so.

The 3 prior games were 2 were you beat me and I had poor dice (where you commented about how well I had taken the game despite the poor dice) and a wood elf v underworld game, which I won 5-0 as you were having a bad time of the dice.

Where in all these games was I exceptionally rude? Because that's not how I remember any of those games.
Posted by pythrr on 2014-01-23 21:43:30
DT is one of the gentlemen of FUMBBL....

I have never seen him be rude to anyone.
Posted by Jeffro on 2014-01-23 22:16:19
Easy ladies... each of you is ugly as Synn...
Posted by garyt1 on 2014-01-24 02:48:36
Well you did cause 3 rips in 1 turn against my humies just immediately this one..Though that was a heavy payback with all those key rats and troll out.