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2010-03-10 01:32:46
37 votes, rating 4.2
37 votes, rating 4.2
Jan Mattys and JanMattys
Take a seat. Let me pour you a bourbon.
This is not a regular update. I'm here today to clear up a little confusion. There seem to be some people around who seem to think that I'm telling tales about JanMattys, rather than Jan Mattys.
I can understand that. There is a lot in common between those two fine individuals. But here are a few ways that you can tell Jan Mattys and JanMattys apart in future.
Jan Mattys drank bourbon. JanMattys drinks espressos.
Jan Mattys ate pastries. JanMattys eats pizza.
Jan Mattys was a baker. JanMattys ... well, he probably has some corporate job. He doesn't talk about it much, so it probably involves firing people.
Jan Mattys died over 400 years ago. JanMattys is still kicking.
Jan Mattys walked the mean streets of Amsterdam (and Munster). JanMattys walks the mean streets of Bologna.
Jan Mattys fought the bishops. JanMattys fights fascists.
Jan Mattys knew nothing about Pi. JanMattys doesn't either - but he's learned to fool people into believing otherwise.
Jan Mattys baptised good-looking dames. JanMattys ... well, let's just say he's not so much of a holy man.
Jan Mattys ended up with his head on a pike. JanMattys might not. (Although you won't find many who'll give you good odds on that.)
And I'm sure you can add more of your own.
Last but not least: I don't know anything about JanMattys. Everything I just told you about him, I made up. But when I talk to you about Jan Mattys, it's God's honest truth, unfiltered by bishops.
This is not a regular update. I'm here today to clear up a little confusion. There seem to be some people around who seem to think that I'm telling tales about JanMattys, rather than Jan Mattys.
I can understand that. There is a lot in common between those two fine individuals. But here are a few ways that you can tell Jan Mattys and JanMattys apart in future.
Jan Mattys drank bourbon. JanMattys drinks espressos.
Jan Mattys ate pastries. JanMattys eats pizza.
Jan Mattys was a baker. JanMattys ... well, he probably has some corporate job. He doesn't talk about it much, so it probably involves firing people.
Jan Mattys died over 400 years ago. JanMattys is still kicking.
Jan Mattys walked the mean streets of Amsterdam (and Munster). JanMattys walks the mean streets of Bologna.
Jan Mattys fought the bishops. JanMattys fights fascists.
Jan Mattys knew nothing about Pi. JanMattys doesn't either - but he's learned to fool people into believing otherwise.
Jan Mattys baptised good-looking dames. JanMattys ... well, let's just say he's not so much of a holy man.
Jan Mattys ended up with his head on a pike. JanMattys might not. (Although you won't find many who'll give you good odds on that.)
And I'm sure you can add more of your own.
Last but not least: I don't know anything about JanMattys. Everything I just told you about him, I made up. But when I talk to you about Jan Mattys, it's God's honest truth, unfiltered by bishops.
Comments
Posted by Warmaster on 2010-03-10 02:20:16
Preferrable title to this blog should have been Jan Mattys ON Jan Mattys! Much sexier!
Posted by harvestmouse on 2010-03-10 03:03:07
What happened to Pac? I remember Pac, as the rapier of silly forum posts, now he seems to be.......breathing too much mountain air :/
Posted by Purplegoo on 2010-03-10 08:29:05
You ruined it BeeRTRuCK, I was enjoying being totally in the dark and led down a merry Tim Burton esq drug fuelled merry yarn.
Boo!
Boo!
Posted by avien on 2010-03-10 08:57:38
Jan Mattys once was ordered to become a marine, JanMattys once was ordered to become mafia.
Posted by Catalyst32 on 2010-03-11 14:44:14
I think we all knew that we could look him up via wikipedia if we wanted too. But wiki documents don't have a cult like allure that keeps you coming back to read more even though you are pretty sure they are going to castrate you in a few months after your free will disappear like the bishops into their confessional booths... oh no... it's starting to happen.
Posted by JanMattys on 2010-03-11 19:07:23
One day I'll start writing you about the Pac Man.
:D
:D