“FUMBBL CUP IV Quarterfinal!!!
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WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Death
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Kill
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
Whiner
Whining
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Unfortunately for a lot of the specs, this was a one sided dice rape of a game and Circ had little chance with the way the dice were rolling.

Circ hosted, and I got a message saying "Your opponent is not using an authenticated FUMBBL roster. This game cannot be uploaded" or something like that. before I clicked OK to options changed etc. We restarted and the handicaps were:

Illegal Drugs (given to Str 3 Mighty Blow Tackle Frenzy Blitzer)
Iron Man (given to AG4 Catcher)
Duh It Wasn't Me (on one of my Str 4 Witches)
Doom and Gloom
Morley's Revenge (on one player, Valdrek)

I had hired Hurkon (poisoned dagger) and Circ had hired The Count. I failed 1 from 3 niggle rolls (my Strong Arm Safe Throw Accurate Thrower) and my opponent made his single niggle roll

The Humans started in offence and were soon under pressure when a thrown rock stunned one of their two backfield players and the ball went reasonably deep and wide whilst nearly all of their players were pressed forwards.

The Humans flattened the line of scrimmage and then possibly made a tactical error. After throwing the ball to The Count deep in the backfield, the Humans had three players left that could screen the Count from my players. Instead, Circ went sent all three forwards to get a good foul.

The bad luck started to get worse for Circ as he his +3 foul only caused a stun and his DP was sent off leaving him with 10 players after his own first turn.

I had 3-4 players down, but most importantly, there was a wide open gap on my left to send players at The Count. It took 4 GFI in total I think, and I had my Witch Elf, Dara Bloodorgy had a two dice blitz on him. I got the pow and a lucky bounce so the ball land in Dara's Str4 hands.

A nice bit of luck that scatter as Circ still had his AG5 Sure Hands Thrower nearby, but also it was also an opening that he left me when he went sent three players to set up a foul instead of protecting the count with even one screener to negate assists.

Anyways, the Count stands and gazes one of my two players next to the Witch with the ball. He then cleverly tries to negate my last assist and get a two dice blitz on me by trying to dodge his Catcher around the back and draw out my Diving Tackle (if he failed the first roll but then makes the reroll dodge, then he would have two assists to my none), However his Catcher failed the dodge and the Falcons ran the ball deep and delayed scoring.

The Humans sent players back to chase Dara. The Falcons responded by pushing the Mediocrity's Catcher Absolute is Relative, towards Hurkon Venomspike who slipped his poison blade between the human's ribs.

Whilst the Catcher was being stretched off (Badly Hurt), the Falcons inflicted another casualy, this time a niggle on their drugged up Blitzer Shortsightedness is Wisdom. The Mediocrity used their apothecary's supply of magic sponges immediately whilst the Falcons ran in the score to take a quick 1-0 lead.

The Medicority started in offence and immediately flattened the Falcon's line of scrimmage, seriously injuring one player. A poor sidestep move by the Falcons (I was busy chatting and moved to the wrong square heh) left an big gap for the Mediocrity to set up a big hit on one of my Witch Elves. The first block was rerolled with Pro when no pows came up. Still pushes on that and the follow up Frenzy second block so Circ used his reroll to buy some pows and it caused a stun on my Witch.

Circ then prophetically announced that he would roll a 1 to pick up the ball and he did! If only he had not used his reroll on my Witch, but then he was going to get hit hard the next turn...

The Falcons attached the ball but failed to pick it up themselves (I rolled a 1 too after rolling a 1 when doing a GFI to put a tackle zone on his Thrower).

The ball bounced around, but the Mediocrity were able to get their super thrower to it (after making some dodges and GFIs) but then failed his AG5 Sure Hands attempt to pick it up (snake eyes)!!!

Whist this was certainly bad luck for Circ, had he made his pass, I still have a 2 dice blitz on his ball carrier (Witch with Jump Up has free blocks to push his screener out the way, then I had the Diving Tackle, Tackle Blitzer within 7 squares...

Anyways, with the ball scattered into Shortsigtedness is Wisdom's hands and he caught it. The Falcons decided to use their Wizard there and then and knocked the Mediocrity's Ogre over.

Jenna the Deathdealer blitzed Shortsightedness and caused him a serious injury for a second time! The ball spilt free and was caught by a Falcons Blitzer who then lost it when blitzed and knocked over by The Count.

Mediocrity pushed a player onto the ball and luckily for the Falcons, it was caught by one of their players.

The Falcons got greedy and did not advance far with the ball. The Mediocriy now had a great chance to steal the ball. Some great planning by Circ set up a one dice block on my Witch Jenna the Deathdealer, which he could then push into my ball carrier onto the sidelines next to his Catcher. He would then had a two dice block my favour to get me out of bounds, needing pows/pushes on both dice (44.44% chance without a reroll).

Anyway, Circ's horrid luck contineud when his Thrower who was needing just a push rolled a skull, and rerolled it into a skull and badly hurt himself!

The Falcons consolidated and when Jenna the Deathdealer killed a lineman (with Block Guard Tackle) and Zakaris Vileblade ran the ball deep, Mediocrity was left with 8 players on the pitch, 5 of them prone and with no way to stop the score.

At this point, Circ decided to call it a day and asked me if I minded if he conceded the game. I was happy to take the concession as it meant no more injuries for me though I did want to skill up my 28 SPP Str 4 DP. As luck would have it Hurkon took a MVP!
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Well the game really was a combination of dice rape and one possible tactical error up to just before half time.

Circ was very unlucky to get his DP sent off on the first foul, but he also ran in the three players to set up the foul and left The Count with no protection. I would not have stolen the ball on my first turn if he had put 1-2 screeners to protect him.

On his next drive, not getting any pows on my witch on 6 dice was unlucky. Circ then chose to use a RR to knock me over and then bad luck struck him again when he rolled the 1 to pick up the ball with his AG4 Catcher.

I was a little unlucky not to pick up the ball, but then Circ had the cruddly luck again when he snake-eyed the pickup needing just 2+ on either dice. I had some luck in the following turns when I caught the bouncing ball twice.

Further bad luck for Circ when he could not get a push with his Thrower (67% chance, using a RR it was a 77.8% chance) and instead injured himself. It was a good play by Circ setting the play up and he deserved better than the skull rerolled into a skull.

Then I caused another injury, this time a death on a decent lineman and Circ had had enough. Three of his best four players were out. He had 11 kicking off to my full team less one minor Linemen in the second half, and that was assuming I did not do more damage to him on my turn 8 in the first half.

Understandable so I don't blame him, if the game is sucking majorly, why waste another hour of your life if your opponent doesn't mind you conceding?

Some specs were not happy with Circ not trying to fight it out in the second half and try to soften my team up for PMG. Whilst I agree Cup coaches owe it to the specs/fans to entertain them somewhat, ultimately Circ won his way to the quarter-final and it was up to him how he wanted to play the game.

Anyways, it was understandable that Circ wanted to concede with all the bad luck he had had to date, my luck with bouncing balls and the casualties I had caused.

Circ was a top opponent even with the crud dice and I am sure he will back next year and do really well.






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