Season XC

In the teams' sophomore season, their first ever piece of actual silverware - the Silver Boot for Fructose Overdose's 35 fouls (more impressive yet, as he took the last two matches off and didn't bother kicking anyone).



Season XCIII

Greatest Hits	Players
Killed
Minus Strength
Minus Movement
Minus Agility
Minus Armor
Minus Passing
Niggling Injury
Missed Next Game

A shocking lack of achievement in their first season: 6 losses, and a win by default when the opposition couldn't be bothered to show up (that's snobby elves for you). Worst of all for the team, they couldn't even get the prize for the most fouls, beatn to it by the New Blacktown Expatriates with 45 fouls in 7 matches. (The Asylum were justified in complaining about this robbery, as in 6 matches they had 43 fouls and one hand on that glittering prize. Arguably if Doreen hadn't blown Unfriendly up and taken him out for a game, he could have got close to the 21 fouls of Ivar, but with two games less he quit with only 14 fouls to his name.)

XC
Despite this lacklustre performance, the Asylum still sneaked their way out of the Regionals and into the Conferences for their second season, enjoying their best run ever for a goblin team coached by MrCushtie, winning three and drawing two of their first five matches. Part of the success of this can be put down to their recent acquisition, the big headed (and even bigger fisted) Morgue N Throgson, who provided extra muscle in three of those matches. Morgue's value wasn't just in hitting things, he also provided handy TTM assistance, but here's his tally of carnage. (Note that like every other member of the team, Morgue is expected to put his heart, his back and of course his boot into supporting team activity - everyone fouls!)
Handsome Git (first turn kill, denied by the apo)
Snaglak Mummyfella (killed)
Dolph Lundgreen Mamba (niggling injury)
Bruce Leeaf Viper (badly hurt via a foul)
Sadly, the wheels fell off the goblin train at the end of the season, with a woeful performance against perfidious dark elves, following by a collapse against one of the bogey teams from last season, the Ophidian Infidels. Fatally, the team had got used to spending time at the top of the division, and the precipitous fall at the end was hard on all those little green guys little egos.
However, rebuilding for next season looks like some good prospects, with a new generation of sneaky gits readying themselves for utter carnage. When third place in the division is viewed as a disappointment by the Asylum's leadership committee, it's clear that high standards are going to be applied for the next season...
Total fouls: 52

XCI
Broken hearted by their failure to make it to the Premiership, the team slumped to a 0-0-7 season. Truly terrible, forgetting to play the ball, and scoring a total of two touchdowns. Total fouls: 50. With both trolls turning Pro by the end of the season, a violent rampage through the Regionals might enable them to recover some of their joy.

XCII
Having managed 39 fouls in the first four games of the season, the team looked en route to securing another trophy. At this rate, they'll be more than a third of the way to their grand target by the end of the season. And a new plan has been mooted, to sack the entire team in the offseason so they can afford Morg for the entirety of XCIII. After 6 games, the boot count was up to a team record of 61 (still some way off the all-time record of 80 by the Macabre Morticians back in LXVIII, but a few low-booting games early in the season made getting that trophy impossible for now). However, next up is the 431 fouls that the franchise's parent team, the Scoundrels, put in. At 206 fouls from 4 seasons (with a game in hand) we expect to be eclipsing that record in short order. With a paltry 6 fouls in the final game, the grimy silverware for this season was secured.
Total fouls: 67

XCIII
Distracted by illness, the Asylum failed to do much this season, but with only five games attended, still made the most fouls in the Regionals. Better luck next time.
Total fouls: 36

XCIV
IN a season where the odds were stacked against the Asylum (not one, but two dwarf teams to contend with) it's a miracle they won a game and drew two more. Final game of the season was against dwarves who cheated by (a) turning up and (b) not putting enough money down to bring Morg to the pitch. Next season we'll do better. Because next season, we're bringing Morg to the pitch.
Total fouls: 52

XCV
49 fouls, would have been more if those pesky Nurgle hadn't failed to show up for the final match of the season. Or our boots would have got dirty. One of the great goblin-chorf matches that the Asylum are proud of happened here.

XCVI
49 fouls only, but a couple of vicious wins, along with 5 defeats (revenge hits from both Underworld and Wood Elves suggesting there were some grudges against the poor little goblins...) A solid way to remain in the Conferences, stepping on the heads of others.

XCVIII - 30
Returning after the entire coaching staff had a mysterious illness that prevented the team competing, the Asylum slouched to the Regionals, following 6 straight losses (well, 5, and then the team refused to show up for a game against the Bloodwolf Bandits) before a proper bankjob-level theft where they stole the final game of the season from some flings with an inspired draw. Total fouls: 30, a real low, but with two games with less than 5 fouls each, they must have had their minds on other things. Cumulative fouls: 428 from 58 games, or 7.38 per game...

XCIX - 28 fouls
Winning a match by default, getting two draws and almost wiping out a Skaven team on its opening game, the Asylum had a pretty good run of things, before a crushing defeat from some zombies who murdered their recently rented giant ogre, and then a drawn out loss to Nurgle that could almost have gone their way. Still, pleased with their outing. All eyes are now on the budget for the end of season party - a bit too much fungus wine and they won't be able to afford all of the veteran players, and some hard decisions will have to be made...

Disappointingly few fouls this season: 28 fouls in 6 games. That brings the grand total to 456 fouls in 64 games, or only 7 and an eighth fouls each time, now more than 70% of the way to their goal.

C - 50 fouls
50 fouls in SWL C took them to 506 fouls, comfortably breaking through the 500 foul barrier. Did Legneck finish his final game with a casualty and a TD, or will he be back again for CI?

CI - 46 fouls
Started ok with a draw, then two dreadful losses, first against the scum of the North, then against halflings capitalising on Boyshape's week off. Still, 20 fouls wasn't bad, with 11 (possibly a record) in the third game of the season. Legneck is much missed, and his daughter is reviled by the ref, sent off after 4 turns of her third match for doing nothing whatsoever. #justiceforlegneck

A slump to only 5 fouls in the 4th match, plus Boyshape taking another game off to 'recuperate' leaves us worrying where the final 3 games of the season will take us... off to the shops to hire some star players, probably.

The 5th match was a utterly shambles, Bomber hardly throwing a bomb, the wizard whiffing a hit on 4 players, and a 2-0 trouncing with three dead goblins, only 6 fouls. 6th match worse yet: a BH was insultingly apo'd early on, and although Auntyshape made it to the peak of trolldom in that game, we went down 1-0 with only 4 fouls. We may have lost 3-0 to elves in the final game, but at least we did 11 fouls... Still, that was 552 total fouls since the team started work on the record... The end is less than 100 fouls away...

CII (10+10+19+11+9+12+5) = 66
First time ever facing Imperial Nobility, and although John Biscuits died, 10 fouls count as some sort of victory. Second match also brought us 10 fouls, including the death of an amazon who'd been so cheeky as to score against us earlier in the game. Nobody gets away with that! (not without also winning 3-0 against us). Third game in, we had enough to hire the Black Gobbo, leading to our best ever fouling performance (and 11 fouls from Thunderfoot is pretty great too, equalling the all-time team record to date...)
When 9 fouls in one game is a bit of a slump, it's clear standards are high. A slump in the last game, fighting snotlings in the sweltering heat to get pitch cleared, meant we were just off our all time season record. But we're getting close, 618 fouls.

CIII (10+8+12+9+8+?+?) = 665 fouls in the first five games
A brutal first match in sweltering heat against the returning Moonrakers saw 10 fouls, a dead Puggy Baconbreath, and a draw in the last turn when the halflings were almost pitch cleared, their trees having chosen to spend most of the match standing perfectly still. Turns out the chef was no match for the menu at the Asylum that day...

A tremendous result and the first win of the season with a revenge match against the tropical ladies of 2 Girls with a Dream meant the Asylum eclipsed the previous SWL all-time fouling record. There will be parties way into the night in goblintown this week...

Going up against the team from a Land Up Over, the asylum was worried that there'd be revenge for their previous outing, but very hot weather helped to keep the pitch clear, even if the ref failed to accept 100,000 gp of bribes to keep Bomber on the pitch. No bones broken (apart from Buxton Belle, another victim of Auntyshape...). This was the first time that Boyshape ever scored a TD. Will he three-peat (or even two-peat) before the end of the season?

At the end of 'the good old daze' (SWL LXXXVIII), 3 of the 8 greatest goblin positionals were from the Scoundrels:
Manshape Gutwart, troll extraordinaire (159 SPP),
Irene Shandyhands, slightly gimped super agile bombardier (56 SPP), and
Mrs Legneck Won't-Stop-Bouncing, top pogoer (57 SPP).
The Scoundrels managed this in less than 70 games. With commitment to doing a century in their new form, who knows what heights they might ascend?

*** Did you know...
The team offers a full medical plan to all players, providing by the It Won't Stop Hurting If You Don't Get Better School of Medicine. The team has promised to never drop any players due to injury. Death, for now, has only be the escape of a very few... Misbehaviour during the off-season is of course punished as harshly as possible.

The all-time fouling record by a team in the SWL stands at 650, by the Wonga Wonga Whalekillers. This took them 204 games. (3.2 fouls per game)

In three seasons, the Asylum have already completed 145 fouls (7.25 per game). With the team aiming to beat the Whalekillers' record then retire, we expect their goal to be complete by their thirteenth season, or as long as the little green men can hold on for.
At the end of the fourth season, the fouling pace had accelerated to 67 in season (7.85 fouls per match since the team started), a pace far outstripping the Whalekillers

SWL Season LXXXIX