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The Rover Chronicles, as reported by our very own Daily Herald correspondent Clarke o'Kent.

Choose your article to the left.
After more than three years of inactivity in the realm of BloodBowl based PR, Tothaus Beer and several other minor sponsors apparently decided, that it is time to reactivate the since defunct 'Realms of Chaos Koalition Blood Bowl Leagues' (RoCK BBL). Looking at the recent decline in Tothausbräu sales, and the positive effect that earlier Blood Bowl activities had on Tothaus' public image, this move might not have been the worst idea.

With the first RoCK Round Robin League on the horizon (tournaments seem to be out of fashion at the moment), my editor-in-chief summoned the whole staff to share his newest revelation. "Do you stupid gits know what people really want to read nowadays?" he asked. "It's all about hands-on behind-the-scenes coverage! They want to get sucked into it! They want to feel like they're there themselves, right in the middle of the action! That's why I've decided, that you, my obedient underlings, will provide exactly that. Well, unless you want to see your ugly butts getting sacked that is! There's going to be a Blood Bowl league hosted in town, choose a team and get on with your job!"

I had a quick look at the list of enrolled teams. Orcs, Ogres, Elves, two bands of Chaos Dwarves, two squads of Necromantics, and a yet unconfirmed mystery team that was running late (which later turned out to be a Nurgle Cult). Not thinking twice, I volunteered to cover the Elves. They sure seemed to be the ones that could be handled most easily. "Elves," I thought, "gentle, noble beings, maybe a bit conceited, but they'll most likely be nicer to talk to than the rest. And they'll definitely be less dangerous to my health." Boy was I wrong - at least about the first part.

First thing the next day I was following my intuition and checked the best hotels in the area around the Tothaus Arena to find 'my' elves, the Arnheim Rovers. But lo and behold, none of those establishments were accomodating Elves, at least not a whole Blood Bowl team. Great start. I have heard that elves could be hard to find in the woods, but this was about a dozen of them, in a city. Nevertheless, it was time for lunch, and finding them would not be easier with an empty stomach. Going for a bite was a wise choice as it turned out, for then I overheard a conversation in the very tavern I decided to eat in. A farmer was just saying that a bunch of pointy eared drifters had offered to rent his fallow field, now, in the middle of winter, and for a nice sum of gold too! "That could be the Rovers" I thought, asked him for directions to the field, and off I was.

As I arrived there, I found a few horse carts and a number of tents next to the field, all surrounding a single black and white flag. On the muddy and snow speckled field, I cought my first glimpse of the guys that I was to follow around from now on. Eleven tall figures, apparently beating the snot out of each other. I have to admit, I am no expert when it comes to Blood Bowl, but it took me a while to realise that there was a ball amongst the elves. Sitting on the sideline of this improvised pitch I waited and watched. Watched them practice and watched my preconceived notions of elves crumble. Those guys were fast and agile, but there was no prancing around, no gentleness, no effeminacy. To me, it rather looked like an organized, brutal, right in the face pub brawl.

"Elves of the Old World, elves of the New World,
whether hailing from the Heartlands of Ulthuan, or the Naggaroth Wastes,
whether hailing from the depths of Athel Loren, or from one of the enclaves,

whether born on land or born on the sea, whether Asur, Druchii or Asrai,
whether of mixed blood or pure, whether noblemen or peasants,
whether artisans or warriors, criminals or paragons -

As long as you are fit for the pitch, willing to sever the ties to your old life,
willing to bury your quarrels and feuds, and willing to forget all that was,

this is your chance to start anew! Join the Rovers and take your chances!
Put on the Black and White and become a Pro Elf Blood Bowl player!"
- Leaflet handed out by the Rovers
Their training came to an end around dusk, and I seized the moment to introduce myself. Well, they did not ignore me, but they certainly did not open up either. When I asked for information on the team, things that I could publicize, I was handed a leaflet. "Feel free to spread that. We will need replacements." And with those words the elf disappeared into one of the tents. A bit baffled I read the piece of parchment, which almost raised more questions than it answered (its contents will be added to this article for you, our esteemed readers). Unfortunately, I could not really buttonhole more of them. The basic gist was "We are here to play Blood Bowl, and as the league has not started yet, there is nothing of note to talk about".

While this first encounter was definitely very interesting, it was not as informative as I had hoped. But, dedicated journalist that I am, I did not stop my investigations there, and got in touch with all my street contacts and a self-proclaimed Blood Bowl expert that I know. Well, let me tell you what I have found out since then:

According to my knowledgable friend, the forthcoming RoCK league will be the Rover's first major appearance. Some of the players might have served other teams as stand-ins or journeymen, none of their performances seem to be listed anywhere though.

It is very hard to figure out anything substantial about the individual players, as they actually seem to adhere closely to the terms mentioned in the leaflet. Once you join the team, your past life is null and void. If you have the skills to join the team, and are willing to leave everything behind to 'don the Black and White', you will become an equal amongst equals, and noone will ever ask you about what you did or where you came from. All that matters is your life as a Blood Bowl player, your success on the pitch. Almost poetic. Your past back in the black, and nothing but a hopefully glorious and bright future ahead (the rumour that the Rovers might actually be using magic or alchemical concoctions to erase their memories is most likely just that - a rumour). This also means though, that we could have a bunch of lunatic criminals at our hands here.

The team's exact connection to the City of Arnheim lies in the dark, too. Although formally registered as a team of the elven enclave, it is not known if that is where the team was founded, or if a significant portion of the 'Orginal 11' came from there. Rumour has it, that the Rovers could just be using Arnheim as a symbol. Yet, why anyone would use this war-torn cesspool on the godsforsaken shore of Naggaroth as a symbol is beyond me. Someone also told me that I should mention, that the city is actually called 'Arnhelm', and that 'Arnheim' is a human bastardization of that name.

Uncertainty, mystery, speculations. But one thing seems to be clear: They are here to play ball!

Even the greatest things come from humble beginnings. Let us hope that this will also apply to the Rovers, as well as to my series of articles on them. Until next week, esteemed readers! We will have more information on the team and their first match against the Nurgle worshipping 'R.o.C.K. 'n' Rot'.

- Clarke o'Kent (cok)

COMING SOON!

Yet to come.

Yet to come.

Yet to come.

Yet to come.

Yet to come.

Yet to come.


RoCK League 2 - XIII
WeekOpponentTD forTD ag.CAS forCAS ag.SpectatorsWinnings
1Orkos Wilde Horde121532.00070.000
2Syndrome of a Down316323.00070.000
3R.o.C.K. 'n' Rot111336.00050.000
4MosCow Bullsheviks411134.00070.000
5Vicious Vokuhilas111328.00030.000
6Out of the Nightosphere101037.00030.000
7Drunken Apes405030.00080.000

RoCK League 1 - XIII
WeekOpponentTD forTD ag.CAS forCAS ag.SpectatorsWinnings
1R.o.C.K. 'n' Rot02167.00030.000
2MosCow Bullsheviks123219.00070.000
3Out of the Nightosphere020210.00010.000
4Syndrome of a Down501420.00050.000
5Badland 69'ers210025.00060.000
6Orkos Wilde Horde411120.00020.000
7Vicious Vokuhilas322217.00070.000
8Badland 69'ers110322.00050.000
9Vicious Vokuhilas122323.00070.000
10Syndrome of a Down210519.00050.000
11R.o.C.K. 'n' Rot201227.00030.000
12Orkos Wilde Horde200229.00080.000
13Out of the Nightosphere301329.00080.000
14MosCow Bullsheviks401035.00060.000

Gone But Not Forgotten
PosNameGSpImprovementsCpTdItCsvpRuBlPaFoInjuries
Olanis Dustshade10-000000000Dead
Gilgarion Soulsong10-000000300Dead
Laurenor Misttouch81-1000061830-ST
Angrath Bloodtear95-0000101800-MA, N
Valandil Falconpath1530Dodge, Fend24032548060Dead

New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block, Side Step
Dodge
  2 0 1 0 0 1 8/16 130k
(110+20)k
 
2
Blitzer
8 3 4 8
Block, Side Step
Dodge, +MA, Shadowing, Mighty Blow
  20 2 10 0 3 6 68/76 210k
(110+100)k
 
3
Catcher
8 3 4 7
Catch, Nerves Of Steel
Dodge, Block, Side Step, Shadowing
  21 4 10 1 6 3 63/76 180k
(100+80)k
 
4
Catcher
8 3 4 7
Catch, Nerves Of Steel
Dodge, Block, Strip Ball
  20 2 12 0 3 0 44/51 160k
(100+60)k
 
5
Catcher
8 3 4 7
Catch, Nerves Of Steel
Dodge, Block, Tackle
  16 3 7 0 4 1 37/51 160k
(100+60)k
 
7
Thrower
6 3 4 7
Pass
Leader
  19 12 0 0 0 0 12/16 90k
(70+20)k
 
9
Lineman
6 3 4 7   8 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
 
10
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Wrestle, Dodge
  21 0 0 0 4 3 23/31 100k
(60+40)k
 
11
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Guard, Block
  20 0 0 0 4 2 18/31 110k
(60+50)k
 
12
Lineman
6 3 4 7   7 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
 
13
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Kick
  20 2 1 0 2 0 9/16 80k
(60+20)k
 
11 players  
Coach: Jabberwocky Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Elven Union Fan Factor: 10  
Current Team Value: 1640k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 380k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1640k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:21 (13/3/5) |TD Diff:25 (45 - 20) |Cas Diff:-21 (18/7/4 - 33/14/3)
Last Opponent: Drunken Apes