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Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 07, 2021 - 07:10 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Death Watch Season LXXXVIII - The End Of An Error

"Er... shouldn't that be 'era', Jim?"
"Oh, now you're the one who knows how to spell, are you?"

Due to lightning strikes, illegal holidaymaking and general goblin antics, the Death Watch has been delayed for several weeks. With each delay, the pile of bodies mounted ever higher, and so only with a herculean effort have we cleared the backlog in time for the Great Apocalyptic Reset that is coming for Season LXXXIX. Pinch your nose to hide your tears or just avoid the disgusting smell that is the last Death Watch of the ruleset formerly known as 'BB16':

Image Afogato, poured over a scoop of ice cream by Xander. *Lizardman Saurus, 14 SPP.

Image Grumpiness, didn't exactly have a smile put on his face by Talltrunk Leafbringer. *Chaos Dwarf Blocker, 27 SPP.

Image Julius Coldrock, warmed over by Vanthiel the Visionary. Chaos Dwarf Hobgoblin , 0 SPP.

Image Paphia, sent down the mines by Thardrakk Coalface. Underworld Goblin , 0 SPP.

The "You Don't Have A Leg To Stanza On" Laboured Rhyme Department

Image Frano Botica, notica anything any more after a hit by Duluk Zombieeagle. High Elf Lineman, 0 SPP.

Image Galla Fiacus, suffered a bad smackus by Groa. Amazon Linewoman, 10 SPP.

Image Beatrice Rogeir, living nowhere after another hit by Groa. *Amazon Linewoman, 9 SPP.

Image Katerwaul Krescendo, suffering a diminnuendo by Cah. Chaos Pact Skaven Renegade, 19 SPP.

Image Patrick Duorn, all forlorn after getting stuck in a rabid Tumult. Ogre Gnoblar, 0 SPP.

End Of The Laboured Rhymes ... For now!

Image Bubbles, blew every chance while tripping on his shoelaces. *Nurgle Pestigor, 24 SPP.

Image Bazza Kriega, blitzkrieged Detestation. *Old World Alliance Dwarf Blitzer, 2 SPP.

Image Bear, squeezed so hard all his stuffing came out by Rocky Balboa. Norse Berserker, 2 SPP.

Image Herbad Kakr, shattered by Brittle. Lizardman Skink, 3 SPP.

Image Vanthiel the Visionary, timed out by Cronus. *Wood Elf Wardancer, 10 SPP.

Image Matchsticks Maruthel, clocked off by Cronus. Wood Elf Catcher, 6 SPP.

Image Kerosene Kerrithel, without a spring in his step (or any of his movement) after a hit by Cronus. Wood Elf Lineman, 9 SPP.

"Can we stop with all these references to watches and clocks?"
"Why, are you getting ... wound up?"

Image Kurz Dreadstealer, deadstealer more like after a resounding smash by Theodore Nuffleson the 7th. Orc Black Orc Blocker, 16 SPP.

Image Steve McDowall, with micro enthusiasm for Mega. *High Elf Lineman, 17 SPP.
"I knew we couldn't get through this without some of those silly names!"

Image Bowman, retired with a nasty splinter in his hand, or did he just get the shaft from Banba Tricus? *Human Lineman, 17 SPP.

Image (), Failed dodge. Human Blitzer, 0 SPP. Fell down so embarassingly hard that he isn't even listed on the roster.

Image Agitated, helped to calm down by Deacon Jimmy Van Phirramid. Chaos Pact Marauder, 0 SPP.

Image Jaelan Phillips, certainly lacking in Vigour. Undead Zombie, 0 SPP.

Image Going to be pushing up at least one Daisy thanks to Big Jobo Hairyfoot. Amazon Linewoman, 7 SPP.

Image Lint Biscuit, chewed up and spat out by Lady McDeath. *Snotling Fungus Flinga, 10 SPP.

Image May-Bae Tears, well, may be lots of sad things happen when you get run over by Fungus the Loon. Dark Elf Lineman, 2 SPP.

Image Timmy Lemoncake, bit off more than he could chew when he encountered the sharp end of Gazza Blunt. Halfling, 0 SPP.

Image Cromwell, went beyond the pale during Lockdown. *Underworld Blitzer, 36 SPP.

Image Simon Bolivar, headstomped by Swabbie. *Underworld Lineman, 25 SPP.

Image Lost Button, couldn't be found no matter how much help we got from Vaxinator. Snotling Stilty Runna, 0 SPP.

Image Fluff, gobbled up by his own teammate, Bograt Loo Roll. Snotling, 0 SPP.

Image Judith Leyster, reconsidering a career in fine art after an encounter with Ard 'Ead Banger. Vampire Thrall, 0 SPP.

Image Pedro Penzance, fell off the end of the world (or at least Albion) after being shoved by Durbul Treeseer. High Elf Lineman, 7 SPP.

Image Sparky, zapped by Sathriel Spark-Spray. *Skaven Lineman, 8 SPP.
"Well, they do say electricity and water shouldn't mix... what about ratmen and hippy elves?"

Image Fharrakka Metalhand, had all the shine smeared off by Putrid Patricia. Chaos Dwarf Blocker, 0 SPP.

Image Dexterity, Block by Muzz. Undead Zombie, 9 SPP.

Image Nellie Bly, heard a buzz in his ears just before a foul from Bumble. Underworld Goblin , SPP.

Image Emily Hobhouse, from hobhouse to hobbledhouse by Viago. Underworld Goblin , SPP.

Image Vladislav, staked out by Porfirio Díaz. Vampire Vampire, 27 SPP.

Image Graham Darkstone, enlightened by Duluk Zombieeagle. Human Lineman, 0 SPP.

Image Gat Ghoulburster, gobbled up by Carnivore. *Orc Blitzer, 23 SPP.

"What's with all the stars after players' names, Jim?"
"Those are all players who successfully hurt somebody before. Also, this was the last time any of them will be seeing stars."
"That's so kind, Jim! And now: for the Curse of the Death Watch!"
"Three weeks I've not had to hear your nonsense..."

Image Lucuma, Block * 1 kill. Broken Neck
Image Grumpiness, Block * 1 kill. Dead
Image Loranda Hagborn, Block * 1 kill. Fractured Arm
Image Thyla the Unseen, Failed dodge * 1 kill. Pinched Nerve
Image Vanthiel the Visionary, Block * 1 kill. Dead
Image Marrahki Daemonfire, Block * 3 kills. Smashed Hip
Image Mazorn Zombieburner, Foul * 1 kill. Smashed Ankle
Image Raekwon McMillan, Block * 1 kill. Smashed Hip
Image Cromwell, Block * 1 kill. Dead
Image Craig Green, Foul * 1 kill. Fractured Arm
Image Revereng Boyle De Feathers, Block * 1 kill. Smashed Hand
Image Cah, Block * 4 kills. Smashed Collar Bone

And now, as we put all the wrecked and ruined bodies on the cart to the abbatoir, let's pause and reflect on every one of the 4,796 deaths and serious injuries that have occurred since the start of SWL LXXI. Heartfelt thanks to the statistickal goblins that had to watch every single game to write these all down, even if the lazy greenskins just fastforwarded to the end. Death Watch Awards to follow once we get over the tidal wave of emotion, but first, wave at all these victims:

Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2021 - 07:23 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: Big news Terence! There's some sort of huge clerical error accessing the book of faces and the players have had enough!

T: Spreading unsubstantiated rumours is not what the awards show is for, Phillip.

P: I, but, news!

T: This awards show is for the permanent record of our top performances in the SWL.

P: Oh, fine then, tell us who was best this season, even if it was their last!

The SWL LXXXVI Team Achievements

T: We pay our snotling clerks well, and the troll enforcers hardly need to eat any of them this season, certainly not all of them.

Turns (1139): Silent Sydney
Completions (14): Count Homogenised's Mōkai & Feyenoord Rotterdamned
TDs (17): Zealots of Change
Cas (24): Redgum's Repugnance
SPP (130): Zealots of Change
Passing yards (84): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (253): Zealots of Change
Blocks (360): Silent Sydney
Fouls (37): Zealots of Change
Blocks/Cas (13.70): Redgum's Repugnance
Pass/Cp (6.45): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1130): Chaos All Sorts
Completions (20): Amateur Professionals
TDs (15): Amateur Professionals
Cas (27): Heroes Before the Fall
SPP (130): Heroes Before the Fall
Passing yards (123): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (246): Har Ganeth Hellbores
Blocks (375): Blue Mountain Giants
Fouls (36): Heroes Before the Fall
Blocks/Cas (9.30): Banner of the Black Stag
Pass/Cp (6.15): Amateur Professionals
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1118): Bronzed Raiders
Completions (7): Ouch in a Pouch
TDs (13): Bronzed Raiders & Cult of the Firedrake
Cas (24): Crazy Beard Express & Cult of the Firedrake
SPP (87): Bronzed Raiders
Passing yards (31): Ouch in a Pouch
Rushing yards (245): Bronzed Raiders
Blocks (333): Cold Rock
Fouls (30): Crazy Beard Express
Blocks/Cas (8.35): Styx αnd Warpstones
Pass/Cp (4.43): Ouch in a Pouch
Kills (?, ??spp): ???

P: It's a team effort, and many of the teams will of course be returning, despite the news.

T: Don't interrupt the Mr Whippy part, Phillip.

P: It's my job to provide you with softball questions, Terence, stop being mean about it.

T: We've been asked not to talk about the news! Stop asking me about it.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Leo Rumster (Pipton Picnickers) 15 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Cah (Concussion Protocol) 19 spp

P: No wonder Leo's leaving, lifetime supply of cones!

T: Shush, Phillip, it's time for the Twahns!

The SWL Season LXXXVI Awards

T: It was one huge party in the regionals again, fourteen teams setting a record for participation in one pool. Maybe this is what the problem was?

P: I thought we weren't speculating?

T: On with the show, then! Silenty Sydney winning the tournament, but no show offs in that squad.

Image Image Valerie Page (Zealots of Change) 8 TDs
Image Image Detestation (Redgum's Repugnance) 9 cas
Image Image Decjuba Belt (Killer Heelz) 114 turns
Image Image Gangrene Greg (Redgum's Repugnance) 150 rushing yards
Image Image Christiano Alonso (Mexican Standoff) 53 pass yards
Image Image Swabbie (Social Distance) 8 fouls
Image Image Cherrytwig (Pipton Picnickers) 75 blocks
Image Image Willy Winger (Olde Skye United) 9 cps
Image Image Rocky Balboa (Zealots of Change) 5.75 block/cas
Image Image Christiano Alonso (Mexican Standoff) 7.58 pass/cp

Image Image Óli Johansen (Bear Island Berserkers) 25 SPP & Image Valerie Page (Zealots of Change) 25 SPP

T: Amateur Professionals and Chaos All Sorts winning the two conferences, totally different approches to the game there, but shows any team can make prem in the SWL. Any team at all. There is no secret hidden rule preventing the Chaos All Sorts making prem, for instance.

P: Certainly not, Terence. Scandalous rumors, those.

T: And not at all true.

Image Image John Kirwan (Amateur Professionals) 9 TDs
Image Image Duluk Zombieeagle (SWL Dorruks) 11 cas
Image Image Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 114 turns
Image Image Disorder (Chaos All Sorts) 163 rushing yards
Image Image David Kirk (Amateur Professionals) 119 pass yards
Image Image Krycek (Federated Fowlers) 20 fouls
Image Image Enthusiasm (Heroes before the Fall) 87 blocks
Image Image David Kirk (Amateur Professionals) 14 cps
Image Image Egill Þrasison (Banner of the Black Stag) 3.88 block/cas
Image Image David Kirk (Amateur Professionals) 8.5 pass/cp

Image Image John Kirwan (Amateur Professionals) 33 SPP

T: Play Fetch, Loec's Loggers, and Cold Rock were all in it to the end, but Brozed Raiders took out the final game to take their fourth premier title, off the back of an amazing cut-through play by Kofaer that couldn't quite be matched by Diana Wynn Jones. Questions have been asked about the agility and speed of these players for a while now, and the poor snotlings trying to keep up with their records ... is it any wonder?

Image Image Kofaer (Bronzed Raiders) 10 TDs
Image Image Cronus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 13 cas
Image Image Talltrunk Leafbringer (Loec's Loggers) 115 turns
Image Image Stampede (Crazy Beard Express) 161 rushing yards
Image Image Torduken (Bronzed Raiders) 22 pass yards
Image Image Splat (Crazy Beard Express) 19 fouls
Image Image Cronus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 93 blocks
Image Image Torduken (Bronzed Raiders) & Image Theseus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 5 cps
Image Image Marrahki Daemonfire (Bronzed Raiders) 4.67 block/cas
Image Image Numb Bat-Bat (Ouch in a Pouch) 6 pass/cp

Image Image Kofaer (Bronzed Raiders) 31 SPP

T: Our predictions last season prooved, well, disturbingly accurate, Phillip. Should we try again?

P: Ooh, well, what if one was to predict a mass player strike due to clerks stealing all their wages and the entire lot of the sacked due to disturbing contract clauses that prevent them playing ever again?

T: Almost like you're predicting a complete rewrite of the rules for player's funds, the rules of the game, the rules for blocking, fouling, passing, money management, and who knows what else?

P: Almost, yes. Wouldn't that be amazing if we were so close to being accurate once more, Terence?

T: Surely impossible to guess that well, Phillip, why, such a thing would've only happened a couple times before in all the history of SWL.

P: Third time's the charm, Terence?

T: We may not see the likes of the stacks of agility boosts on teams that won their divisions this season, if that's all true, Phillip. Who knows.

*SWL remains awesome, come get some, mega-draft on the 13th.


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Dec 20, 2021 - 08:02 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: It's all conferences Terence!

T: A few teams managed to gather some new players for the league, Phillip, most said goodbye. But the league is bigger than it's been in years, 50 teams competing, with rumours of more missing out for lack of forms.

P: But it's all conferences!

T: Yes, that is the tradition, after the great war, the great collapse, and the last one (don't mention the plague), ... wait, does that imply a fourth one on the way?

P: Don't say that, Terence! We're just getting started! Tell us who stood out from these young go-getters.

The SWL LXXXIX Team Achievements

T: The clerks have been toting up the books once more, rumours of improper fielding of extra players are scandalous nonsense and will not be entered into, and also the rules committee are expecting a change there too.

Turns (1194): Zealots of Change
Completions (16): Kingdom Decay (SWL)
TDs (16): Zealots of Change
Cas (24): Gits and Shiggles
SPP (79): Gits and Shiggles
Passing yards (80): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (260): Hell's Mischief
Blocks (391): Turbo Wolves
Fouls (45): New Blacktown Expatriates
Blocks/Cas (11.60): Pitch Painters
Pass/Cp (6.67): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

P: Huge group to conquer for the teams who went all out for farming their special talents. Some smaller than usual with the field of young players, some quite a bit larger with the new rules.

T: That underworld team is a disgrace.

P: They're fabulous, and could do well in prem, give or take for the Goblins.

T: I refuse to admit Goblins have made prem, it makes no sense! These rules need a good looking at if you ask me.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Gotham Green (Pitch Painters) 22 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Yog, Master of the Spoon (Git Dynasty) 18 spp

P: A snotling! That must be first.

T: He's even beaten all the Skinks, though they're still rightly disqualified. No one likes Lizardmen.

The SWL Season LXXXIX Awards

T: Fifty teams. Amazing stuff.

P: So many games, so many chances to pass this tricky new floaty ball, who had the courage to throw it long, surely a High Elf!

T: It's always a High Elf, Phillip.

Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 10 TDs
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 11 cas
Image Image Umug Ratbasher & ImageOrok Flingthar (Dirrty Duzzin) 116 turns
Image Image 3rd Umpire (ERGH [Ex Ref Gobbo Hitskwad]) 177 rushing yards
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 79 pass yards
Image Image Ivar (New Blacktown Expatriates) 21 fouls
Image Image Robespierre (Zealots of Change) 74 blocks
Image Image Femme Fatale (Kingdom Decay (SWL)) 16 cps
Image Image Fritz Berger (Ostland Horns) 1.34 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 7.19 pass/cp

Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 34 SPP

T: Underworld! That horrible combination of Skavens and Goblins has proven half way unstoppable. Up there with the acknowledged powerhouses of modern Blood Bowl, Skaven, Undead, Pro Humans, the Green Tide, Amazons, and Chaos Dwarfs!

P: I like how you snuck Orcs and Goblins into one there, Terence, but they've made it up seperately!

T: Madness! Goblins have never even made premier before. History is kind to Undead teams in these early premier, but also to the rest of them, with solid starting skills on these rosters. Surely the Minutes or Centuries have the best tools, but with the new low-tackling allowed on the big boys, well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Even a Bull Centaur is more easily bought down now trying to save the day.

P: Make enough holes, like The Ticker was doing all season, well, who even needs to dodge?

T: We shall see, the golden Twahnlows are back on the table early next year, there's a raging Trial of Blood on for some new teams looking to enter, polishing their skills before hitting the regions, and rumor is some old team's players may have even snuck off to the Deserted Isles to try to make something of themselves.

P: If they wanted to make a real legend of themselves, Terence, it was the SWL they needed to be in. These young stars are well on the way.


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jan 24, 2022 - 07:38 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P Show

P: There's no twahns for the trials, but if there was!

The Trials:
ImageTopaz (Born to Rock) & ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 6 TDs
ImageMorg 'n' Thorg (Zenana) 8 cas
ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 115 turns
ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 131 rushing yards
ImageIovain Noke (Lone Lada) 14 pass yards
ImageHalser Springpot (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 13 fouls
ImageMain Screen (All Your Balls) 63 blocks
ImageIvy Sprywood (Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors) 10 cps
ImageWalter Looeast (Know Your Station) 4.25 block/cas
ImageIovaine Noke (Lone Lada) 2.8 pass/cp

ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 24 SPP

T: Blooding teams near completely dominant in the Trials, as it should be. Zenana's Goodrun Ophelia being one to watch out for as she quickly grows in skill, and being the mainstay of the team's run to take the Bloody Cup.

P: Congrats to Zenana, now on with the main show, SWL kicks off late tonight! Go the High Elves!

T: Not even any High Elves in prem, Phillip.

P: Not yet, you mean, Terence, you just watch this season!


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Mar 23, 2022 - 00:59 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: Our first premier champions of the new era are here, and who would've ever picked greenskins?

T: I was picking goblins years ago, Phillip, it's about time a team of them won prem.

P: Bigger greenskins, Terence.

T: The Black Orcs are also part of some Goblin teams, yes.

P: No, the other ones, though they did have a few goblins, so, fair enough, well predicted.

The SWL XC Team Achievements

T: The clerks were down with something, but the survivors have come back strong, who even fears the Nurgs about the place these days.

Turns (1187): Miskatonic Misadventures
Completions (16): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
TDs (12): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Cas (30): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
SPP (147): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Passing yards (22): Skye Babes
Rushing yards (227): Scranton Business Park
Blocks (360): Miskatonic Misadventures
Fouls (42): Redgum's Ravagers
Blocks/Cas (7.90): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Pass/Cp (4.33): Celtic Ruin
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1156): Styx and Warpstones
Completions (11): Amateur Professionals
TDs (14): Turbo Wolves
Cas (20): Lobrot Asylum
SPP (110): Amateur Professionals
Passing yards (69): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (279): Turbo Wolves
Blocks (374): Freedom Fouler
Fouls (52): Lobrot Asylum
Blocks/Cas (11.87): Pitch Painters
Pass/Cp (7.67): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Turns (1133): Ostland Horns
Completions (6): Ostland Horns
TDs (12): Hell's Mischief
Cas (23): Blackwater Picaroons
SPP (103): Blackwater Picaroons
Passing yards (9): Zealots of Change
Rushing yards (235): Hell's Mischief
Blocks (314): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (32): Ostland Horns
Blocks/Cas (8.68): Blackwater Picaroons
Pass/Cp (2.00): Hell's Miscief
Kills (?, ??spp): ???

P: Hopefully our coaches avoid whatever's going around.

T: I'm sure there's a couple of Nurgle teams just want more of it.

P: Eeeew. So, Is there a stunty cone?

T: Of course there is, for dynamite teams!

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Gotham Green (Pitch Painters) 18 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Michael Scott (Scranton Business Park) 14 spp

P: Is that big guy Sundae going to the right player?

T: He wanted it, he gets it, Phillip, hush.

The SWL Season XC Awards

T: Solid turnout of new teams in the Regionals, guess who's the rising stars, eh?

P: That's the other show, Terence, this is the Twahns.

T: That's what I said! Onto the Twahns!

Image Image Strezzar (Khornacopia) & Image Hound of Tindalos (Miskatonic Misadventures) 6 TDs
Image Image Michael Scott (Scranton Business Park) 7 Cas

Image Image Hound of Tindalos (Miskatonic Misadventures) 151 rushing yards
Image Image Carmen Miranda (Skye Babes) 16 pass yards
Image Image Hunter (Scranton Business Park) 18 fouls
Image Image Valmanek (Khornacopia) 69 blocks
Image Image Willow Barkley (Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors) 10 cps
Image Image Meh “The Awfully Medi-Ogre” (SupercalifrgilisticxpaliOgre) 2.80 block/cas
Image Image The Morrigan (Celtic Ruin) 4.33 pass/cp

Image Image Strezzar (Khornacopia) 25 SPP

T: The new Khorne worshippers making their mark on the SWL pitch, and the other teams.

P: Absolutely bloodthirsty, but taking a few good hits themselves.

T: Hopefully keeps them trim and not killing everything in sight.

Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 7 TDs
Image Image Buck Shelford (Amateur Professionals) & Image Baugar (Banner of the Black Stag) 9 cas
Image Image Heavy Git (Gits and Shiggles) 113 turns & ImageSurprising Git (Gits and Shiggles) 113 turns
Image Image Gotham Green (Pitch Painters) 177 rushing yards
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 64 pass yards
Image Image Overfriendly Fructose Overdose (Lobrot Asylum) 35 fouls
Image Image Shadowleaf (Munchausen Moonrakers) 78 blocks
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 8 cps
Image Image Vic Sponge (Munchausen Moonrakers) 2.34 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 8 pass/cp

Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 35 SPP

T: And our first premier since the ... well, best left unsaid, eh, knock wood, throw salt, turn circles ...

P: Not like you to be suspicious, Terence.

T: Still, new premier, and who won it but Goblins, eh, so I'm not suspicious, just foresightful.

Image Image Flee-Sulk (Hell's Mischief) 6 TDs
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 11 cas
Image Image Mogak Trollfist (Dirrty Duzzin) 114 turns
Image Image The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries) 164 rushing yards
Image Image Paul Atreides (Zealots of Change) 9 pass yards
Image Image Fritz Berger (Ostland Horns) 28 fouls
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 73 blocks
Image Image Hermann Gemmel (Ostland Horns) 6 cps
Image Image Howling Man (Call of the Zombie) 5.67 block/cas
Image Image Paul Atreides (Zealots of Change) 1.8 pass/cp

Image Image Flee-Sulk (Hell's Mischief) & Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 22 SPP

P: I don't see any goblins outside that disturbing little chap in the conferences. Quite a show from the halflings though.

T: It's the quiet achievers that win prem, phillip, that rookie Big Un, just tanking the hits all season, and now declaring he'll be the team's next ball carrier! See how that works out for him come the redraft, eh.

P: At least he'll leave with the Touchstone Heart to his name, right Terence?

T: Right indeed, Phillip. What a season, our second greenskin champs, proper Goblins playing midfield in premier, skavens pipped at the post, and mixed goblin-skaven taking them out at the last. Goblins! Glorious.

P: And the Orcs too, congratulations to all the Twahnlow winners.


Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Mar 23, 2022 - 07:19 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season 91 Draft

wintergreen13: Elven Union
tribalsinner: Dwarf
Plonkl: Necromantic Horror
oozeboss: Snotlings

Late Draft Options:
Elven Union, Norse, Imperial Nobility, Khorne, Lizardmen, Wood Elf, Chaos Renegades, Ogre


Last edited by Wozzaa on Mar 23, 2022 - 09:27; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Mar 23, 2022 - 09:26 Reply with quote Back to top

Season 91 Late Draft

buuface: Human


Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Apr 01, 2022 - 10:27 Reply with quote Back to top

The Season 90 All Stars. Image

With the league in it's 2nd season of it's newest recovery plan, officials have announced an all star team has been named. Congratulations to the chosen few.

Image Cthonian They say it's easy in the regions, but the beast's dominance on the line set up their team for a run of excellence rarely seen from young Nurgs. One to watch out for in the conferences after the Miskatonic Misadventures creamed their opponents game after game.

Image Mogak Trollfist The quiet achiever of the premier winning Dirrty Duzzin, played every turn of their victorious season, tanking the hits again and again, and celebrated by retiring early. Prem ring and done, why not, rightful champion.

Image Shadowleaf Another excellent lineman for the allstars, crushing his little team-mate's opponents with ease and getting the speed to chase them when they think better of it too. Absolutely no one wants to be on the line against this big boy.

Image Baugar Not that this berserker cared about the treeman, spending all game hunting said little ones and scoring a fistful of casualties in one game for his efforts. Not a bad season outside that game and all.

Image The Ticker was a steady accumulator all premier, one after another, like some sort of regular time piece function. Turned it up to 11 so everyone could hear. Tick, tick, tick, time's up the conference teams next.

Image Buck Shelford How do elves even win hitting awards, they say. What is going on here? Dedication to the practice, is what it is. Pure, mean-spirited, vengeance for what the other team is always doing to the elves. Get them before they get you.

Image Flee-Sulk bagged a stack of touchdowns in premier division, coming within a whisker of the title in the coach's first appearance. They were in it to the end, and so, so close, just not to be after a magical season of keeping the ball away from the best sackers in the SWL.

Image Thanatos was farming like he needed the fans to pull the claws out of his wrists with the constant chants of his name. Who knows, maybe he was, there's definitely claws there now headed to prem, but he's in here for running up the scores in confs more than his hitting.

Image The Grandfather travelled further with the ball than anyone else in the SWL all season, and what better in the all star team than someone who can reliably chase down the fastest ball carriers, and then be so hard to get it back off of when he claims it. Look out confs.

Image Emilio Ferrano The dominant throwing arm in the SWL by streets. Massively better throwing than anyone else got close to, and well, it may not have got them the wins, but the all stars is about the stand outs as much as performance, and any coach would have Emilio throwing for them.

Image "Overfriendly" Fructose Overdose kicked up a storm in the confs, mutilating and killing a few players through the season, and what better thing for a goblin to put his time to. If he could just be a bit sneakier about it, the team might have more money for the other weapons on the squad, maybe win some more!


Prem Stars
Flee-Sulk - Hell's Mischief
Sprint-Steal - Hell's Mischief
Sick Bubblegum - Call of the Zombie
The Grandfather - Minutes or Centuries
The Ticker - Minutes or Centuries
Felix Bressart - Ostland Horns
Phantom Stranger - Call of the Zombie
Hermann Gemmel - Ostland Horns
Fritz Berger - Ostland Horns
Mogak Trollfist - Dirrty Duzzin
Mash Flingchopper - Dirrty Duzzin

Confs Stars
Thanatos - Styx and Warpstones
Kate "the Claw" Chaney - Turbo Wolves
Tarik - Ophidian Infidels
Gotham Green - Pitch Painters
Baugar - Banner of the Black Stag
Buck Shelford - Amateur Professionals
Shadowleaf - Munchausen Moonrakers
Emilio Ferrano - Mexican Standoff
"Overfriendly" Fructose Overdose - Lobrot Asylum
Heavy Git - Gits and Shiggles
Early Retirement - Mandatory Happiness

Rising Stars
Creed Batton - Scranton Business Park
Hound of Tindalos - Miskatonic Misadventures
Dmitri Maslow - Lone Lada
two horns - Talons of the Warp
Michael Scott - Scranton Business Park
Cthonian - Miskatonic Misadventures
Deep One - Miskatonic Misadventures
Petya Petroff - Lone Lada
Hunter - Scranton Business Park
Dunwich Horror - Miskatonic Misadventures
Gorzar Rat-eater - Redgum's Ravagers

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