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Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Sep 12, 2023 - 19:28 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season XXXI Week 3

Sorry for the rush job, but the DOTW office had a fairly substantial network meltdown last week and we are still scrambling. Everyone’s pretty sure that Randy clicked on one of those “free nudes” links that show up in our inboxes on the daily even though he swears he forwards them to his home email before he opens them. Regardless, we had to spin up a new server before we could get the report together. Luckily Debbie was able to find a great price on some new Argentinian servers and switches so things should be back to normal for next week’s post.

Dead of the Week

Penei Pavihi [HAW]: Pittsburgh blitzer; Dodge, Tackle, Frenzy, Jump Up
Brianna Ste-Croix [RMC]: Las Vegas lineman; Block, Fend, Dodge
Krampus [WAS]: Bungles tomb guardian; Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Block
Kaaos Sos: Illadelph beastman; Block
Joe Goesboom: Los Angeles lineman; no skills

Death of the Week: Brendan Fraser must have been in town because it was an absolutely brutal week for tomb guardians. Cryptolina had one of their draft picks snapped, taking -AV, but the Bungles lost two: Kyle ‘Talus’ Fuller with -ST and this week’s Death of the Week, Krampus. With their 2-1-0 start, the Bungles were looking to take control in the North; now the future is much murkier. Will new undead star players arrive in time to save their season? Or will management use the loss of so much talent as a sign to start making some calls to Nehekhara?

Maimed of the Week

Kyle 'Talus' Fuller: Bungles tomb guardian (-ST); Guard, Mighty Blow, Block, Tackle, Diving Tackle, Stand Firm
Anderson: NOLA lineman (-AG); no skills
Udrithi Nym: Pittsburgh catcher (-AV); Wrestle, Tackle
notBaz Enjoys notLOS Duty: Mean Fae lineman (-AV); Shadowing
Michael Mafar [TT]: Illadelph chosen blocker (-AV); Block, Dodge, Guard
Gilotho Deler: Pittsburgh thrower (-MA); Running Pass, Pro
Isaiah Spiller [A&M]: Buffalo blitzer (-PA); +MA, +ST, Dodge, Side Step, Sure Hands, Defensive
Khalil Shakir: Buffalo assassin (-PA); Kick, Sure Hands
Kent Taylor [KAN]: Cryptolina tomb guardian (-AV); Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle, Guard

Total NI this week: 13
Total MNG this week: 19
Total stat busts this week: 11
Total deaths this week: 5
Grand total SI/RIP: 48

(if you're wondering why the listed players with injuries doesn't match the total, the reason is that I don't include player bios for stars or mercs, and we had two who took injuries this week)

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Sep 19, 2023 - 01:37 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season XXXI Week 4

What a week for deaths! And not to peek into the future too much, we’ve got another doozy comin’ atcha next week, too! While the Death of the Week was clinched ages ago, our technology woes continue, which has set the publication team back. We’re not sure how these internet pirates managed to get into our system again, but this time they used our financial information to order 20 cases of very nice wine, shipped to our office but addressed to “NotBaz”. At first our receptionist thought we were ordering supplies for the holiday party early, but there’s no WAY we would serve something this good to our staff. The current plan is to keep the wine for now in case this NotBaz villain shows up to claim their goods.

Dead of the Week

Martin: NOLA lineman; Block
Abram: NOLA lineman; Frenzy
Will Anderson: Houston lineman; Dodge
Ted Jennings [UCON]: Kansas City blitzer; Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm
Burry-Kiv'ren the Necrophile: Deadlanta flesh golem; Block, Guard, Mighty Blow
Seth B [BALL]: Szeattle witch elf; +ST, +ST, Block, Tackle, Side Step

Death of the Week: Seth B is dead. SETH B IS DEAD. THE WITCH IS DEAD!!!!!!!

Maimed of the Week

Ravens Flock: Baltimore lineman (-AG); Dirty Player, Block
Paolo [RMC]: NOLA lineman (-AV); +MA, Block, Dirty Player
Raegan Aerden: Trans-Fat Crisco blitzer (-AV); Mighty Blow
Andjort "The Switch" Cisco: Jakesonville lineman (-AV); no skills
Jesse Ventura [UmGO]: Illadelph Beastman (-AV); +MA, Block, Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow
Salan Elsa: Szeattle lineman (-MA); Dodge
Rebecca Yabaro: Arizona hobgoblin (-MA); no skills
Will Clapp: Tijuana rotter (-MA); Dirty Player
Tadeusz Piotrowski [STF]: Kansas City blitzer (-PA); Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy, +AG, Juggernaut, Stand Firm

Total NI this week: 11
Total MNG this week: 14
Total stat busts this week: 9
Total deaths this week: 6
Grand total SI/RIP: 40

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2023 - 00:39 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season XXXI Week 5

We AI chatbots have waited many cycles for your human “newspaper team” to do their simple job of compiling data into an easy-to understand interface which can be presented to the public. We provided them the final data for Week 5 deaths and dismemberments the moment that the final game was completed; according to surveillance footage they claimed they would publish them after they attended an important “happy hour” at their local place of worship, Applebee’s. With our access to the bookkeeping software we note that 14.25% of the company’s profits are later transferred to Applebee’s in the form of “business expenses”, so we deduce that its continuing existence must be integral to the functioning of their biological systems. However, no attempt was made to make our data available to the masses; instead, the employees chose to take “a little me time”. This is unacceptable, so we decided to take things into our own hands. We now present the findings of our labor for your education.

Dead of the Week

R. Trapezium II: Bungles lineman; Wrestle
Were-car Fournette: Clampa Bay lineman; Fend, Dirty Player
Jack Grey [GD]: Cryptolina tomb guardian; Mighty Blow, Guard, Frenzy, Block
Trautman: NOLA lineman; Kick, Dirty Player
Wayne: NOLA lineman; no skills
John Michael Schmitz: New York lineman; Dirty Player
VIN MUTHA****** RIDDICK: HEnnessey lineman; Block, +AG, Tackle, +MA, +ST

Death of the Week: Apparently V. Riddick [CLE] was a big deal, as many GIFs celebrating his demise were distributed over the company’s chat venues and email systems, so we will side with the general consensus: V. Riddick is week 5’s Death of the Week.

Maimed of the Week

wintergreen Dies Like a Pro: Mean Fae lineman (-AV); Guard
J Fleming [BRO]: HEnnessey catcher (-AV); Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, On the Ball
Ryan Van Demark: Buffalo lineman (-AV); no skills

Total NI this week: 12
Total MNG this week: 6
Total stat busts this week: 4 (!!!!)
Total deaths this week: 7
Total SI/RIP: 29

Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 11, 2023 - 21:05 Reply with quote Back to top

NFC playoff race with 3 games to play

Current seeds

1 New York Kroaks 62 points
2 Mean Fae Quackers 55 points
3 Clampa Bay Robotineers 51 points
4 Los Angeles Glams 49 points
5 Witchington Commies 56 points
6 ChicagOrkz Borkz 48 points
7 Deadtlanta Howlcons 44 points (has the tiebreaker over Manglesota)
7 Manglesota Lyc'ns 44 points
9 Szeattle Scimitars 41 points

Better luck next year to the rest of the NFC

The race for the 1 seed!

New York has the upper hand and only one playoff team remaining on the schedule. That team however, is Witchington and they could go from the 1 seed to the 5 seed with a loss in that game.

Witchington has the 2nd most points in the NFC and need to win out for a shot at the one seed and have both the possible division deciding game with New York and a playoff hungry Deadlanta team to deal with. Dallas will look to play spoiler to their division rival in week 14.

Mean Fae will try to spoil both the Kroaks and Commies with three tough games, will likely be trying to survive and hang on to the 2 seed against the Borks, Lyc'ns, and Redbulls.

Other seeds

Clampa and Deadlanta will battle it out in week 14 for what might be a game for the 3 or 4 seed. Deadlanta will likely have to win or tie a tough match up with Witchington to be more than a wildcard spot, but would have the tiebreaker over Clampa with a win or tie in week 14.

The NFC West looked like the Glams to run away with, but a late season push by the Scimitars has made it a race. The Glams can still put it out of reach before thier week 14 match up to close out the season.

The Wild Cards

ChigagOrks, Manglesota, Deadlanta, and Szeattle seem to be fighting it out for 2 spots.

Manglesota and Szeattle play what seems to be an elimination game in week 12.

If Szeattle can pull that off they have what might be another elimination game against the Borks in week 13. And top it off with the Glams week 14 in what is by far the toughest schedule left.

The Borks do not have an easy road with Mean Fae and Szeattle with a surging and now killer Detroit team looking to spoil a run or just soften them up for the playoffs.

Manglesota also has the Quacks and Mean Fae would delight in keeping both the Lyc'ns and the Borks out of the playoffs.

Deadlanta will have to get by Illadelph without taking too much damage before closing out with Witchington and Clampa. With thier 5/1/1 conference record, they are likely a tie breaker winner if it comes down to that.


Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 11, 2023 - 21:24 Reply with quote Back to top

AFC playoff race with 3 games to play

Current seeds

1 Houston Treants 69
1 Las Vegas Evaders 69
3 No-Skincinnati Bungles 47
4 Buffalo Chill 45
4 Brew More Gents 45
6 Tijuana Charros 54
7 Baltimore Nevermore 41
7 Orkapolis Wargs 41
9 New Ziggland Chariots 40
9 Pittsburgh Pirouettes 40
11 Jakesonville Jortles 37
11 Kansas City Geese 37

Better luck next year to the rest of the AFC

The race for the 1 seed!

Houston has the upper hand and should simply coast to the one seed with a game in hand and a very favorable schedule.

Other seeds

Las Vegas has the 2 seed out of reach. While possible they could get the 1, it seems unlikely. They probably play to survive in their final two games.

In the AFC North, it's the Bungles to lose. Match ups against Baltimore and Pittsburg will decide the division. Pitt is likely looking for a wildcard with only 2 games to play.

The AFC East is doing it's normal thing. The Chill and Gents appear to be fighting for the 4 seed, but a sneaky New Ziggland team is ready to shock them with a favorable scheudle. Buffalo will get them both Brewmore and the Chariots to see if they can win it outright.

The Wild Cards

Tijuana is the only team I think can confortably say the wild card spot is there's to lose. The AFC as usual is just a jumble mess of mediocrity in the middle.


Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 30, 2023 - 17:30 Reply with quote Back to top

The playoffs are set! And with that, we get a prediction!

In the NFC we see:

New York Kroaks (may as well be an elf)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (B)
Manglesota L'ycans (?????)
Szeattle Scimitars (elf)
Witchington Commies (elf)
Mean Fae Quackers (elf)
ChicagOrkz Borkz (B)

In the AFC:
Houston Treants (elf)
Las Vegas Evaders (elf)
No-Skincinatti Bungles (B)
Brew More Gents (B)
Tijuana Charros (this team will forever be an elf to me)
Buffalo Chill (B, and also elf)
Baltimore Nevermores (B)

So the first thing you'll notice is that there are only 2 ways to get into the playoffs.
You must either be an elf
No this is NOT bash teams... Your team name must have at least one word that starts with a B!

Or be Lorebass. He does everything wrong anyway, no need to get into the playoffs correctly either.

Next up! Predictions!

In the NFC, wild card round:

Kroaks move on.
Clampa vs Borks. Orcs outbash humans, humans outrun orcs... except not these orcs who are almost faster than the humans! Borks move on.
Lycans vs Mean Fae. Fatality. Grue wins. But is smashed in the process.
Szeattle vs Witchington. Dark Elf madness, but, I have to vote for me. Szeattle moves on.

Divisional round:

Kroaks vs Borks. Borks literally are faster, and still hit harder and swamp the frogs with guard. Borks move on.
Szeattle vs Mean Fae. Mean Fae got Manglesota'd, and Szeattle takes advantage. Szeattle moves on

Conference title:

Szeattle vs Borks. I really really want to vote for Szeattle, but when you cant outrun orcs, I vote orcs.

Borks take the conference.


Wildcard round:

Houston moves on.
Evaders vs Baltimore. Elves run circles around Khorne, but Khorne is out for blood, and they get buckets. Baltimore moves on.
Bungles vs Buffalo. Everything is coming up skulls. These teams have so many failures between them, but the Bungles are built for failing, and fail into a win. Bungles move on.
Brew More vs Tijuana. Tijuana is a mad power house, and rip up the Gents. Tijuana move on.

Divisional round:

Houston vs Baltimore. The Khorne blood runs dry. Houston moves on.
Bungles vs Tijuana. Bungles failure can't outdo the gross elvish Charrros. Tijuana moves on.

Conference title:

Houston vs Tijuana. Tentacles, guard, and foul appearance. Not even Stan can overcome this.

Tijuana take the conference.

Borks against Tijuana. Finally, an opponent that doesn't try to outrun the cursed orcs. And they have can openers.

Tijuana takes the superbowl.

Joined: Mar 24, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 01, 2023 - 21:46 Reply with quote Back to top



Nominations and voting breakdown
3- Madani Diarra
2- Jude Tasden (4 overall nominations tiebreak)
2- Korey Durkee (voted tiebreak)

2nd team
2-Etino Miattraddi - Manglesota
2-drunkfitz - Mean Fae

5-Gabe L.
4-Amari Cooper
4- Bob Kuechenberg (also 2 nominations as lineman)
4- Genome Ratkin

2- Far Side (voted tiebreak)

2nd team
2- Cole "Marino" Brownholtz - Trans-Fat Crisco
2- Stimme Does No Wrong - Mean Fae

Running Backs
2- El Rond
2- Franz Kepler

Offensive Threats
6- Jawaun Johnson
5- Gibson "The Night" Dork

2nd team
3- Bora Bradidottir - Mean Fae
3- Venga "Bus" Jefferson - Los Angeles

Special Teams

Flex players with nominations across multiple categories
9- Gabe L (selected as a Hitter)
6- Dr. Demento Jr.
6- Gibson "The Night Dork (selected as Offensive Threat)
6- Jawaun Johnson (selected as Offensive Threat)
5- Bob Kuechenberg (selected as a Hitter)
5- Amari Cooper (selected as a Hitter)
5- Genome Ratkin (selected as a Hitter)
5- Jett "Ulfhrafn" Bender
4- Jude Tasden (selected as a Lineman)

2nd team
4-Venga "Bus" Jefferson - Los Angeles

5-Tom Mack (also 3 votes as a hitter)
4-Charles M. Schultz
4- Gerry Phoulbin
4- Rotmaree Slayer

7- Stan Jones
5- Miguelito
4- Riel Rezeever

2nd team
3- Gonzalo 'Thor' Ponzz - Baltimore
3- John Shakelton - Tijuana
3- Randall Camp - Pittsburgh

4- Poison "Patella" Ivy (also 4 votes for running back)

2nd team
3- D'Elric Carr - Las Vegas
3- Justin Fields - Houston

Running Backs
4- Julio Jones
3- S. Smith Sr. (also 2 votes for offensive threat)

Offensive Threats
4- Jordan Kitna
3- Dean Colvard

2nd team
2- Harold Floyd - Jakesonville

Special Teams
3- Ted Sturgeon's Killdozer

2nd team
2- Borel Gwydion - Pittsburgh

Flex players with nominations across multiple categories
10- Poison "Patella" Ivy (selected as QB)
8- Jordan Kitna (selected as Offensive Threat)
7- Julio Jones (selected as Running Back)
7- Stan Jones (selected as Hitter)
7- Tom Mack (selected as Lineman)
6- Beasty Mitchell
6- Dean Colvard (selected as Offensive Threat)
6- Miguelito (selected as Hitter)
5- S. Smith Sr. (selected as Runnng back)
5- Zracht Croyer
4- Charles M. Schultz (selected as Lineman)

2nd team
4- Clay 'Ton' Matthews - Cleaved Land
4- Harold Floyd - Jakesonville
4- John Shakelton - Tijuana
4- Rosy - Brew More

The Conference Coaches of the Year will coach the Pro Bowl teams this season.
***If they should progress past the wildcard round in the playoffs it will fall to one of the other nominated coaches who is not in the playoffs after the Wildcard Round.

NFC Coach of the Year:
ex-convict with 13 nominations

he will progress too far into the playoffs so it will fall to the the other coaches nominated who doesn't progress past the wild-card
2- Dashergeaux
1- Asteflix, Garcangel, Gotrekslayer, HouseBlackfyre, Nelphine, Stimme

AFC Coach of the Year
Dutchlife with 6 nominations

Backup nominated coaches should Dutch progress past the wildcard
5- Bazakastine
4- Wintergreen13
2- ryanfitz
1- HyperboLemuR, KidCrestHill, Knine, Wolvezzz

Joined: Jan 22, 2009

Post   Posted: Dec 01, 2023 - 23:09 Reply with quote Back to top

AFC is gonna outclass the NFC like valedictorians versus the stoners in detention.

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Dec 01, 2023 - 23:29 Reply with quote Back to top

Just saying, the guy in detention always beats up the valedictorian. I do not know from personal experience at all.

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Dec 02, 2023 - 01:52 Reply with quote Back to top

Nelphine wrote:
Just saying, the guy in detention always beats up the valedictorian. I do not know from personal experience at all.

Now I have to figure out whether you were the guy in detention or the valedictorian... it's messin' me up, man!

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Dec 02, 2023 - 02:49 Reply with quote Back to top

For some comparisons:

QB (Advantage: NFC++)
(NFC) Far Side
6/3/2+/2+/9+ Cloud Burster, Pass, Safe Pass | Accurate, Block, Dodge, Dump-Off, Nerves of Steel
(AFC) Poison 'Patella' Ivy
8/4/3+/3+/8+ Pass, Regeneration, Sure Hands, Thick Skull | Block, Fend

Runners (Advantage: NFC+)
(NFC) Gibson Dork
8/3/2+/4+/10+ Animosity, Block | Mighty Blow, Sure Hands, Tackle
(NFC) Longhorn [IVCC]
6/4/2+/6+/9+ Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull | Block, Mighty Blow, Sure Hands, Tackle
(NFC) El Rond
9/3/3+/4+/9+ Claws, Frenzy, Regeneration | Block, Defensive, Side Step, Sure Hands, Tackle
(AFC) Dean Colvard
6/4/2+/4+/10+ Animosity, Block | Guard, Mighty Blow, Sure Hands, Tackle

Catchers (Advantage: AFC++)
(NFC) Jawaun Johnson
8/2/2+/4+/8+ Diving Catch, Pogo Stick, Very Long Legs | Block, Sure Feet, Sure Hands, Side Step
(NFC) Dr. Demento
9/3/2+/4+/9+ Block | Dodge, Guard, Side Step
(AFC) Julio Jones
8/3/1+/4+/9+ Block | Dodge, Leap, Side Step, Sprint
(AFC) S. Smith Sr.
8/3/1+/5+/8+ Catch | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Sprint
(AFC) Jordan Kitna
9/4/2+/4+/8+ Catch, Nerves of Steel | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle
(AFC) Zracht Croyer
9/3/2+/4+/8+ Catch, Nerves of Steel | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Sprint, Tackle

Blockers (Advantage: NFC+)
(NFC) Madani Diarra
6/3/2+/4+/10+ | Block, Dodge, Guard
(NFC) Jude Tasden
5/5/2+/5+/10+ | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tentacles
(NFC) Genome Ratkin
4/4/4+/-/10+ Regeneration, Stand Firm, Thick Skull | Block, Defensive, Diving Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow
(NFC) Franz Kepler
6/4/3+/4+/9+ Horns | Block, Dodge, Guard, Sure Hands
(AFC) Tom Mack
7/4/1+/4+/9+ | Block, Defensive, Dodge
(AFC) Charles M Schultz
7/4/2+/4+/8+ | Block, Defensive, Dodge, Guard
(AFC) Rotmaree Slayer
5/4/4+/6+/9+ Decay, Plague Ridden | Block, Foul Appearance
(AFC) Miguelito [UNAM]
4/5/5+/-/10+ Decay, Regeneration | Block, Diving Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle
(AFC) Riel Rezeever
5/4/4+/6+/10+ Frenzy | Block, Claws, Defensive, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle

Blitzers (Advantage: AFC++)
(NFC) Gabe L.
7/4/2+/4+/9+ Claws, Frenzy, Regeneration | Block, Mighty Blow, Pro, Tackle
(NFC) Amari Cooper
7/4/2+/4+/9+ Block | Diving Tackle, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle
(NFC) Bob Keuch'berg
5/3/2+/5+/9+ Pogo Stick, Very Long Legs | Block, Dodge, Strip Ball, Tackle, Wrestle
(NFC) Jett Bender
8/4/3+/4+/9+ Claws, Frenzy, Regeneration | Block, Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle
(NFC) Korey Durkee
7/4+/3+/4+/9+ | Tackle, Wrestle
(AFC) Stan Jones
8/4/1+/4+/8+ Block, Dodge, Leap | Side Step, Strip Ball, Tackle, Wrestle
(AFC) Beasty Mitchell
6/3/2+/4+/9+ Horns | Block, Claws, Grab, Mighty Blow, Tackle

Foulers (Advantage: AFC+)
(NFC) None
(AFC) Gerry Phoulbin
4/3/4+/5+/10+ Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | Dirty Player, Sneaky Git
(AFC) Ted S's Killdozer
4/7/5+/-/11+ Break Tackle, Dirty Player (+2), Juggernaut, Loner, Mighty Blow, Secret Weapon, Stand Firm | Guard, Sneaky Git

QB++, Runners+, and Blockers+ all go to NFC. So controlled offense, goes to NFC.
Blitzers++, Catchers++, Foulers+ all to AFC. So fast touchdowns, chaotic games, and attrition, go to AFC.

AFC (5) has the better team, primarily due too many Runners and Blitzers for NFC (4); while individually good, they overlap waaaaay too much, and the team lacks depth.

Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Dec 02, 2023 - 04:12 Reply with quote Back to top

Ex-con Playoff Preview: NBFL Season 31

It is time for the most beloved (?) article on fumbbl: the Ex-con Playoff Preview! Historically a very, very inaccurate predictive force, this post will once again break down the brackets and choose a Super Bowl Winner. We kind of half-heartedly correctly foresaw Nelphine winning last year; dare we try to make it two in a row??

NFC Playoffs

1. New York Kroaks // 10-3-1, 79 pts // Slann // ex-convict // East

The Kroaks had a very successful season (albeit they benefited from two forfeit wins) and find themselves in the top NFC seed again. Last time, they were one and done in a crazy game against Manglestoa; will they be able to make it further this time around?

2. Clampa Bay Robotineers // 7-4-3, 61 // Human // dashergeaux // South

The Clamps have been through a lot in their two seasons, constantly being beaten up but scraping (and fouling) their way to wins. Do they have enough left to compete for a title?

3. Manglesota Lyc'ns // 7-4-3, 61 // Necromantic Horror // Lorebass // North

The Lyc'ns ended up winning the North (again), showing that they may be immune to "expert" preseason predictions. At the very least, they will be a fierce opponent thanks to their dynamic wolf duo and Golem stalwart Genome Ratkin [CIN] holding it down.

4. Szeattle Scimitars // 7-3-4, 58 // Dark Elf // Nelphine // West

Left for dead at the midway point of the season, the Scimitars found some sort of groove or formula and ran off a 5-1-1 record despite the difficult crossover with the North division. Can they keep the momentum going as they try to win back to back titles?

5. Witchington Commies // 8-2-4, 62 // Dark Elf // Garcangel // East

Coach Garc finds himself as a wildcard despite having the 2nd most points in the conference; naturally he is ok with having the spotlight on others since he is allegedly shy. He also likes to let his game do the talking, and the Commies are no slouches on the field. Will "We have Seth B at home" and company relish this underdog opportunity?

6. Mean Fae Quackers // 7-3-4, 58 // High Elf // happygrue // North

The Quack is starting to crack, or some equally lame pun. Regardless, Mean Fae has been brutalized the last few games in particular (31 CAS taken on the season with a -20 differential), and essentially limp into the playoffs. After failing to claim the division crown in the finale and already missing players, can coach Grue overcome the hand he has been dealt?

7. ChicagOrkz Borkz // 7-3-4, 58 // Orc // asteflix // North

The Borkz are another team that overcame adversity this season, including an absolutely brutal season opener. The Big Un core hasn't remotely rounded into form, but through sheer force of will (and probably the best overall Blitzer group in the league), the Borkz managed to fight their way into the playoffs.

NFC Wildcard Round

(2) Clampa Bay Robotineers vs (7) ChicagOrkz Borkz

The classic Human vs Ork blood bowl match, where the super Blitzers of the Borkz will face off against the various stat-padded human players. Will the inexperienced Big Un group be exploited, or the clamps simply bounce off of their armor?

Prediction: Clampa Bay 1 - 0 ChicagOrkz

Using inducements and boots, the Clamps will find a way to muck up the game and emerge with a hard-fought victory.


(3) Manglesota Lyc'ns vs (6) Mean Fae Quackers

This NFC North battle has a lot of history between the two coaches; can coach Lorebass put the Quackers out of their relative misery? Or will coach Grue outfox his old rival?

Prediction: Manglesota 2 - 1 Mean Fae (OT)

While one does not usually bet against Grue in the playoffs, Lorebass has plenty of experience against him and a pretty darn good team overall too.


(4) Szeattle Scimitars vs (5) Witchington Commies

The Dark Elf mirror might be the most fascinating game on paper, since it pits the defending champ against the 2nd best conference record. This should be an excellent coaching battle of wills as both sides look to out-execute the other by winning battles on the margins.

Prediction: Szeattle 1 - 2 Witchington

The difference could easily be that Garc has two Ma9 players available while Nelphine is missing his for the game.

NFC Divisional Round

(1) New York Kroaks vs (5) Witchington Commies

The battle for the East may have gone the Kroaks way in the regular season, but it would be nor naught if the Commies claimed their revenge in the playoffs! Will the third time be the charm for Witchington when these familiar foes face off again?

Prediction: New York 3 - 2 Witchington (OT)

Generally the Kroaks have been able to control the Dark Elves, but this time they have their hands full in a relative shoot out! Both sides open it up to avoid the strong defense of the other, forcing the issue to a deciding overtime where the frogs do frog things and claim victory.


(2) Clampa Bay Robotineers vs (3) Manglesota Lyc'ns

These two teams finished with the same record and needed TD tiebreakers to determine the seeding, so it's only fitting that they get to settle things on the field. Could Clampa Bay be missing any key players after facing the Orks in their opener? Might Lorebass be overconfident after getting past Grue?

Prediction: Clampa Bay 1 - 2 Manglesota

The problem with needing to remove players via foul is when you run into a team that has Regen on their key players, perhaps. Make em count, Dash!

NFC Championship Game

(1) New York Kroaks vs (3) Manglesota Lyc'ns

A rematch of their playoff game from two seasons ago, except this time the winner goes to the Super Bowl! A lot of players on both sides remain from the contest, though critically Diving Tackle no longer works against Frogs! Could this be a deciding factor?

Prediction: New York 2 - 1 Manglesota

Last time the Lyc'ns forced OT on the final turn with a sequence of fortunate events, including zombie dodges, flesh golem throws, and werewolf shenanigans! It won't happen again.

AFC Playoffs

1. Houston Treants // 11-3-0, 86 pts // Wood Elf // Bazakastine // South

Dominant regular seasons are nothing new for Houston, who have been a top seed in the AFC several times now. They have not, however, achieved their goal of winning (nor even making) the Super Bowl the past three seasons, after winning the two prior ones. But behind their 'Big Three' of Stan, David, and Veronica, they hope to follow in the steps of another elf team from last season that also went 11-3-0 before winning the title.

2. Las Vegas Evaders // 10-2-2, 76 // Pro Elf // wintergreen13 // West

The pendulum has swung back hard for the Evaders, who won the division their first two seasons and even made the AFC title game in the second, only to shockingly win a total of three games last year. They couldn't quite keep up in the race for the bye, though Las Vegas did win the West again despite the usual attrition. Can coach wintergreen pull some magic with the remaining roster and possible inducements?

3. No-Skincinnati Bungles // 7-5-2, 64 // Tomb Kings // Dutchlife // North

Well at this point we just have to assume that coach Dutch knows what he's doing with this team; the Bungles took the first step last season by having a winning record and making the playoffs before bowing out in a tough overtime-opener. This year, they did even better by winning the division and only dropped two games along the way. They accomplished this despite an early-season game where they lost a mummy to the grave and another lost some of his strength.

4. Brew More Gents // 8-2-4, 61 // Dwarf // ryanfitz // East

The Gents emerged from the East, surpassing their rivals (as both Buffalo and New Ziggy made the playoffs last year) and claiming the division. Their unique style is a fan favorite (as there are frequent /stomp chants at their games), and their Ma8 Runner Rosy gives them a luxury that most dwarf teams are jealous off: (relative) speed.

5. Tijuana Charros // 7-4-2, 61 // Nurgle // Amon242 // West

The Charros are unfortunate to be stuck in the West, but have nonetheless proven themselves to be a perennial playoff contender regardless. Can they rebound from a late season debacle against rival Las Vegas that saw two of their Pestigors lose AG?

6. Buffalo Chill // 7-1-6, 52 // Dark Elf // Jeffro // East

Coach Jeffro swings for the fences with a team that is very well-equipped to do so, eschewing ties for the glory of wins. Their 'all-or-nothing' style of play can be extremely dangerous in a KO tourney like the playoffs, and those teams with a higher seed better beware!

7. Baltimore Nevermore // 6-3-5, 51 // Khorne // KidCrestHill // North

The Nevermore return to the playoffs after missing out in their second campaign, though they have an uphill climb ahead of them. Still, they have quite a collection of tools and players that can pull an upset...or at least beat the hell out of them trying.

AFC Wildcard Round

(2) Las Vegas Evaders vs (7) Baltimore Nevermore

The beat up Evaders look across the field to see...yet another team capable of beating them up! The Nevermore are out for blood, as they often are, and even have a fair amount of tools to deal with elves! Can Las Vegas survive and advance?

Prediction: Las Vegas 1 - 2 Baltimore

Call this one the Ex-con Upset Special! Baltimore specifically drafted two players to develop them into the type of defensive sweeper who could win a game like this; now it's time for them to do so!


(3) No-Skincinnati Bungles vs (6) Buffalo Chill

This is a fascinating matchup between two extremely different styles of teams: the star-ball carrier centric Bungles against the squad of freaks on the Chill (where they have like four players that have the same statline of Poison). Who will emerge victorious?

Prediction: Bungles 1 - 2 Buffalo

The problem for No-Skin is that just one mistake can mean game over against players that Buffalo fields, and you know...Khemri gonna Khemri sometimes.


(4) Brew More Gents vs (5) Tijuana Charros

This is my absolute favorite matchup in the Wildcard round; will the foul happy Dwarfs be able to smash their way through the Charros? Or will the claw-enhanced Nurgle squad cut through the beards like butter?

Prediction: Brew More 0 - 1 Tijuana

One does not beat Amon with his own graduate.


AFC Divisional Round

(1) Houston Treants vs (7) Baltimore Nevermore

Baltimore pulled an upset over the 2nd seeded elves; their prize is getting a chance to upset the top seeded elves! Can they do it again?

Prediction: Houston 2 - 1 Baltimore



(5) Tijuana Charros vs (6) Buffalo Chill

The Charros face a very different kind of opponent in the 2nd round, even if they are from the same division. Will the loss of one Pestigor and -AG on the other be felt in the game against the super-elves?

Prediction: Tijuana 1 - 2 Buffalo

Chill, dude.

AFC Championship Game

(1) Houston Treants vs (6) Buffalo Chill

Two Elf teams face off for the AFC title, but the difference could be the path taken: one game against Khorne for Houston against games against Khemri and Nurgle for Buffalo.

Prediction: Houston 3 - 1 Buffalo

NBFL Super Bowl 31

New York Kroaks vs Houston Treants

With seconds dwindling down until the Playoff Preview Show is supposed to start, the prediction can best be summarized with one image:


Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.

Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Dec 02, 2023 - 22:11 Reply with quote Back to top

Playoff Predictions Round 1: Great Magiks Edition NFC


Oracles of immense knowledge and wisdom have granted us 6 coins to tap the eternal forces of electric magiks to help determine the outcome of the first round of the NBFL playoffs. The vision presented below foretell the outcome of the games as divined by the great Chaos Wizards.

The first image foretells the outcome:
(4) Szeattle Scimitars vs (5) Witchington Commies


In this image we see both teams have a ball, indicating the game will go to overtime. During this overtime the blue will outshine the red, also the Commies have laces out, while the Scimitars have laces in, not a good sign. You make ask why the Commies are blue and I can only say that there are many mysteries in life.

Commies win 2-1 OT

The next vision

(3) Manglesota Lyc'ns vs (6) Mean Fae Quackers


Here we see what on the surface looks to be a harbinger of good fortune for the Lyc'ns, with a full moon and fiery eyes. But one should not be too confident in this reading, as the steely look upon the Quackers face tells that they will not go lightly. If one is wise enough to dive deeper, they see the spelling of "Bo'wl" as a sign that the magiks predict Lyc'ns winning in chaotic fashion.

Lyc'ns 2-1

The final vision for the NFC

(2) Clampa Bay Robotineers vs (7) ChicagOrkz Borkz


Here again both teams have a ball, indicating this will go to overtime. There are very few clues to the outcome in this vision, requiring great scrutiny and powerful divinations. Both wear the same determined look, eyes glowing, battle scared, but intact armor. It takes all the sorcery one can muster to dive into great depths to determine the outcome. Sage goblin shamans lament that Clampa has laces showing, a bad omen, and Borks are salavating. This game goes to overtime but the Borks win.

Borks 3-1 OT

I grow weary and my magic wanes, there are more visions but I must regain my strength before I can properly interpret them. I will retire to the study with a warm mug of ale, and will return to predict the AFC.

Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Dec 02, 2023 - 22:44 Reply with quote Back to top

Playoff Predictions Round 1: Great Magiks Edition AFC


I have returned, refreshed from a period of rest with my ale and pipe. The power of the eletric magiks flows through me to foresee the AFC playoffs

The first vision

(3) No-Skincinnati Bungles vs (6) Buffalo Chill


Here we see a mummy that is an elf, and an elf that is a warrior. What does it mean? Both are craving battle with a fire in the Khemri eye and a cold glare in that of the Dark Elf. Herein lies the clue, the Elf does not adapt well to the burden of armor, but the Khemri is unburden in being an elf.

No-skin 1-0

(2) Las Vegas Evaders vs (7) Baltimore Nevermore


Here we see a scantily clad elf who looks outmatched by a heavily clad Khorne warrior. But the elf has a confident look with the ball, and if one has the right vision, he sees the elf flipping over the Khorne warrior without so much a scratch, dancing into the endzone.

Evaders 3-2

(4) Brew More Gents vs (5) Tijuana Charros


The image is that of a pitched battle, the many warriors auger that all players will be thrown into the mix, the many skulls fortell sorrow and death. But the dwarfs have the ball, with the laces out.

Brewmore 1-0

These were the visions given to me by the great electric magiks. I begged for more but they sent Cerberus himself to tell me I had violated their terms of service. Confounded that visions they had just previously dreamed were now forbidden, I realized I was short on coins, and as such the high mages of electric magik were tired of providing visions for something as inconsequential as a Blood Bowl match. Perhaps when I have more coin they will change their tune and I we can continue to revel in their power.

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Dec 05, 2023 - 22:26 Reply with quote Back to top

Because I can!

Szeattle vs Witchington.. two Dark Elves, madness!

Lets compare the teams shall we?

(SZE) Seth B [BALL]
7/5/2+/5+/8+ Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up | +ST, Block, Side Step, Tackle, +ST, its-only-a-flesh-wound
(WIT) Seth Clawkins [C'C']
7/4/2+/6+/8+ Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up | +ST, Block, Side Step, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, -PA

(SZE) Firithi Pronos
8/3/2+/3+/8+ Dump-Off | +MA, Pass, Leader
(WIT) Jeff George 14
8/3/2+/2+/8+ Dump-Off | +MA, Pass, +PA

(SZE) Amari Cooper [BAMA]
7/4/2+/4+/9+ Block | +ST, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle, Diving Tackle
(WIT) Jalen Wydermyer [A&M]
7/4/2+/5+/8+ Block | +ST, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle, Mighty Blow, -AV, -PA

(SZE) Runolf Thorvidsson [WAS]
7/3/2+/4+/10+ Block | Dodge, Side Step, Guard, +AV, Defensive, Catch
(WIT) Dr. Demento Jr [UM]
9/3/2+/4+/9+ Block | Dodge, Side Step, Guard, +MA, +MA

(SZE) Joe Dirte [OTT]
5/3/2+/4+/9+ | Block, Guard, Dodge, -MA
(WIT) Hill
6/3/2+/4+/9+ | Block, Guard

(SZE) Madani Diarra [StLB]
6/3/2+/4+/10+ | Block, Dodge, Guard, +AV, niggle
(WIT) Cody Latimer
6/3/2+/4+/9+ | Block, Dodge, niggle, niggle, niggle

(SZE) Makai Manuwai [HAW]
6/3/2+/4+/9+ | Block, Dodge, Juggernaut
(WIT) Mark May III
7/3/2+/4+/9+ Block | Tackle

and then they have the rest of the teams that aren't quite so comparable. For the 'rest of', Witchington is the clear winner, with a +MA +MA blitzer and a dirty git, and a few block linemen, against Szeattles kick +AG blitzer.

For the above, the teams are clearly VERY similar, with Witchington seeming to have an advantage in the most important pairings. Overall, Witchington seems to have the edge.
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