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intrepidwilson
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intrepidwilson (29468)
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2025-07-01 18:35:09
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Blitz 'Dem - GDR Edition #2; Issue #7


'Blitz 'Dem', the preeminent periodical for all things Blood Bowl, having been published by diligent grotz since 1964 IC, brings you the key facts from the opening Gameweek of the inaugural season of the Greenskins Draft Rumble.

= GAMEWEEK 7 ROUND-UP =
The mid-point of the regular season gave us some huge results and even hugerer fatalities!

= STAR PLAYER POINTS =
Perhaps proof of this periodicals growing readership is that notice is taken of the names which appear here. None of last week's peak performers featured this week; perhaps implying that coaches are more aware of the threat those particular players hold:
7 SPP - Hazel Nuts (Grom Peak Scrappers)
6 SPP - ★ Dazlug Mudshredda ★ (Altdorf Bloodhounds); ★ Zuggrak Gorblat ★ (Badlands Black Feathers)

= CASUALTIES =
Plenty of blocks thrown this week and an increased workload for the apothecaries to show for it:
2 casualties - Wubdagog (Badlands Black Feathers); Arm Gnawer (Iron Crag Clawz); Grotz Eargrinda (Nordland Skullsmasherz)

= BLOCKS =
The weekly average amongst blocking leaders continues to increase:
14 blocks - Kroll Stonecrusha (Altdorf Bloodhounds)
13 blocks - Grash Bonechewa (Badlands Black Feathers)
12 blocks - Arm Snapper (Averland Bat-Squigs); ★ Head Stompa The Fourth ★ (Iron Crag Clawz); ★ Ghazghkull Thraka ★ (Drakwald 'Ardboyz)

= TOUCHDOWNS =
New faces this week, compared to last, but two scorers who are becoming a real problem for their opponents:
2 touchdowns - ★ Dazlug Mudshredda ★ (Altdorf Bloodhounds); ★ Zuggrak Gorblat ★ (Badlands Black Feathers)

= FOULS =
An utterly incredible new gameweek record set by the Averland Bat-Squigs - Rukzit now has 24 fouls in 6 matches. To add to that, the Fanatics once angelic demeanour has well and truly been removed as they have their first mention in this category:
10 fouls - Rukzit the Menace (Averland Bat-Squigs)
4 fouls - Urza Spinechoppa (Drakwald 'Ardboyz)
3 fouls - Baggit Wartsnout (Karak Azgaraz Fanatics)

= RUSHING YARDS =
The same names continue to rack up the distance, often carrying the ball over the touchline in the process.:
36 yards - ★ Dazlug Mudshredda ★ (Altdorf Bloodhounds)
30 yards - ★ Zuggrak Gorblat ★ (Badlands Black Feathers)
23 yards - Grukgore Ironjaw (Middenland Ironskins)

= PASSING YARDS =
The specialist passers seem to prefer exploding bombs to the squigskin footballs...


= AWARD WINNERS =
Each Gameweek, there will be awards for some notable players and coaches:

MVP
Coach RobinFern may be glad it's not one of his players to be named MVP as, every time they win it, one of the Fanatics seems to get killed in the following game. Many of his opponents will hope this curse honour will be continued with the Bloodhounds' ★ Dazlug Mudshredda ★ who scored twice and led the rushing yards category, edging out ★ Zuggrak Gorblat ★ of the Black Feathers by a mere 6 yards and 2 blocks.

Golden Clipboard
Nietizen (Badlands Black Feathers)
Coach Nietizen secured the number one ranked position at the halfway point of the regular season with a solid 2-0 win over the Crusherz. Skurn Rocksmash's vital deflection was enough to give Nietizen the lead over close runner-up Coach Rijssiej, whose team got the same result against the Big 'Uns.

Best Result
Hierophant (Estalia Gutrippers)
MATCHSCORESCORERS
Estalia Gutrippers1★ Z. Slugweava ★
Averland Bat-Squigs0--
With the resurgent Bat-Squigs hosting, just a week after their first league win, the Gutrippers were 6th in the competition, behind Averland, Karak Norn, and Tilea. But their quick start - removing 3 players in the first half - helped them overcome 3 turnovers and the loss of their troll in turn 5 and score the only touchdown of the game late in the first half. The Bat-Squigs fought back back some unsuccessful blocks (including two where they were outnumbered) and a simple but failed pick-up cost them and the Gutrippers held on to leapfrog the mid-table group to finish the Mork Conference in 3rd place.

= IN MEMORIAM =
For every winner, there must be a loser and, to give them their (final) moment in the limelight, we recognise those players who left us this week:


‣ Brody Venessa (Karak Azgaraz Fanatics) - last week's MVP suffered the Fanatics Jinx this week. The blitzer started his career at the Carcasonne Snarlfangs, making 6 blocks in 3 games. But he excelled in one notable game - scoring once and being named MVP against the Fanatics. The Karak Azgaraz side made him their 1st round pick in the Season II Draft and he scored twice in 6 games, contrubuting 25 blocks and 2 MVPs in the process. A good player who may go down as one of the great unfulfilled blood bowl careers.
‣ Aln Shearahh (Averland Bat-Squigs) - perhaps if they had concentrated less on fouling and more on protecting their players, Shearahh would be alive today. However, the blitzer was killed by Gutrippers' Jaylo Otho after 11 games, 30 blocks, 1 casualty, 1 touchdown, 1 foul, and 2 MVPs. A key player that will surely be missed.
‣ Durgash Yamwort (Karak Azgaraz Fanatics) - the Fans lost another player in the same game; a 3rd round pick lineman with 1 MVP and 1 casualty to his name over 6 games. Absolutely replaceable.


Look out for our specials coming soon - Stat Leaders edition followed by Transfer Window special - all before Week 8 resumes!
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