Suburbia Cup: First round results


Graveyard Gripe Squad vs Spartan Vikings:

The Suburban Cup opened with a bloody match between two season favourites, the Graveyard Gripe Squad and the Spartan Vikings. Both teams have been performing strongly with the Gripe Squad tipped as moderate favourites due to their no-loss record.

The Gripe Squad opened their attacking drive with a savage attack on the Spartan frontline. The Viking lineman Miles was dragged to the ground screaming and slaughtered by the zombie Dirt, only to be immediately reborn as a zombie himself! Crabs made a smooth catch of the ball and advanced, surrounded by a loose cage. Screaming with fury the Viking Snow Troll Lacedaemon launched himself at Vlad the Vanquisher, hurling his decayed body out of the stadium! However, the Gripe Squad kept up strong pressure on the Spartan line and Crabs comfortably scored an early touchdown. A strong undead defence in the second quarter almost resulted in a turnover touchdown but the stalwart Spartans managed to hold them off, avenging the death of Miles by killing the ghoul Herpes. In the final moments of the first half Lycurgus fought off a brutal attack by the zombie stool and threw a risky pass to the lineman Perieres, who dashed across the line for an equaliser.

The second half began with a strong undead defence in the center of the pitch, culminating in a foul on Lacedeamon which knocked him out. The Gripe Squad kept up a strong defence but an overly aggressive move by Ivan led to a failed dodge, allowing the veteran Spartan runner Menelaus to score a second time. The crowd erupted in violent celebration and deprived the Gripe Squad an opportunity to equalise. As the dust cleared, the Gripe Squad stared blankly back at their screaming coach – the Spartans had won a stunning upset!

Final score: Spartan Vikings: 2Graveyard Gripe Squad: 1


ShoobieNoobies vs Rex Regum:

The Noobies absorbed the initial Lizard push, dodging out of the reach of the savage Saurus warriors. A risky run along the top flank allowed the skink Rangalor to score an early touchdown. Frustrated by a solid wall of Saurus, The Amazon runner icanhasballmade a desperate run along the bottom flank, managing to evade two Saurus and a skink! However, exposed as she was it was a simple matter for Rocky the Saurus to chase after her and smash her to the ground, spilling the ball only a few feet from the touchline. The skink Rabbit snatched up the ball and ran back towards the Amazon line but mysteriously decided against passing the ball to his teammate in the final turn to allow a second touchdown.

After being walked over in the first half the Amazon situation was looking grim. The Regum fans howled their approval. Pressed up against the wall, the Amazons found their footing during their next offensive play. Jackie Quick-Hands punched a hole through the exposed Lizard middle, while Big Mits made a slick pass to the Linewoman Boombala, who sprinted towards the unguarded touchline. A last ditch Skink defence proved no match for the Amazon who stomped her way through to an early equaliser.

The stadium now erupted as fans of both sides sensed a chance for victory. An early skink advance was shut down neatly by the Amazon defenders. A hasty square was formed around the ballcarrierRangalor but the skinks defending the rear proved vulnerable to an Amazon blitz. The remnants of the square rumbled up to the top flank and became locked in a brawl, the Saurus warriors proving more than a match for the Amazon defenders. Rabbit sprinted through a hole in the melee and dashed towards the touchline as the Saurus pummeled the faltering Amazon line. In the final turn Elise Hammer-Throw-owitz made a lackluster blitz against Rabbit, taking lots of unnecessary risks, and failing to knock the nimble Skink down. She was rewarded for her incompetence with a punch in the gut by Rocky, and as she sank to her knees Rabbit pranced across the line to secure a Lizardman victory!

Final score: Rex Regum2Shoobienoobies: 1


Six vs Citizen Dwarf:

This match between two poorly performing teams soon deteriorated into a comedy of errors. An initial Chaos Dwarf advance was checked in the middle by the Vampires, but a second push made more progress as the dwarves formed a tight shield around the bullcentaurballcarrier, Joe. The vampires showed their strength and soon knocked him into the mud and snapped up the ball. However, a reckless pass to the thrall William fell short and the ball once again spilled free. In the subsequent turn, a number of unforced errors prevented either side from retrieving the ball. Soon, both teams ignored the rules of the sport and began laying into each other in a savage melee. The vampires had the worst of it and four thralls and a vamp were taken off the pitch seriously wounded. However, despite superior numbers the Dwarves were unable to score in the remainder of the first half.

Enraged at their teams lack of finesse, fans began to pelt Citizen Dwarf with rocks and curses. The dwarf lineman Stephen was hit squarely in the back of the head and fell face first into the mud, much to the amusement of the audience. A series of foolish fumbles by Alucard V prevented the vampires from taking advantage, and the ball once again remained unclaimed. This time, the vampires performed better in the mid-pitch beat down, sending half of the Dwarf team off the pitch injured. After finally retrieving the ball, Alucard V continued to disappoint, proving unable to blitz through the lone dwarf Wayne who stood between him and the touch line. The Bull Centaur John was unable to take advantage of the loose ball but Alucard V predictably fumbled the ball in the subsequent turn, leaving the ball yet again unclaimed. His teammate Alucard II finally recovered the ball but a reckless sprint to the touchline had him fall flat on his face as the crowd began to wonder if this was a comedy production rather than a sport played by professionals.

The match spilled into overtime and Citizen Dwarf won the toss, electing to attack. The fans began to vent their frustration onto the hapless referee, blaming him for the lackluster result by turning him into a makeshift piñata. An initial dwarf push was soon repulsed by the vampires, and the ball fell into its usual resting place on the ground. The bull centaur Joe eventually recovered the ball and ran it forward before being harshly tackled by Alucard III. However, by this stage the raucous fans had turned against the vampires and threw the loose ball back towards their touchline. Joe eventually recovered and thanks to a string of errors by the vampires, was finally able to tumble over the line for a winning touchdown! Citizen Dwarf had won its first victory!
Final score: Six: 0 Citizen Dwarf: 1

ThuggLyfe vs The Masters of Ballcraft

Smarting from their recent loss in a friendly match, ThuggLyfewas determined to grind the frail elves into the pitch. A high kick was caught by the veteran Orc blitzerMonkus and a tight cage was formed around him in the middle of the pitch. However, a vigorous elven defence threw it back. Constant forward momentum by the orc line eventually led to defensive errors by the elves and Monkus quickly ran to an opening. The elves desperately threw themselves at the Orc square but were swatted away. A last ditch blitz managed to spill the ball from Monkus but by this stage the Orcs had such an advantage in numbers that it was a simple matter to recover the ball and push for a touchdown in the final turn of the first half.

ThuggLyfe’s fans sensed a victory and screamed wildly as they began to lay into the elf supporters in the stands. However, once on offence the Masters performed a surgical offensive strike against a lazy Orc defense, running along the bottom flank to score a hasty equaliser. However, the sheer speed of the elven play had left ThuggLyfe with ample time to counterattack. Forming a tight shield around the blitzerHungus, the Orc cage rumbled forward, butting against a disciplined elven defensive line. Eventually the huge black orc Blazer managed to cause enough havoc in the elf line to open up a narrow hole in the defences. The elves scrambled to cover the spread but the overwhelming momentum eventually led them to buckle. Hungus made a sneaky pass to the lineman Maggog who ran across the line for the winning touchdown! Exhausted by the Orcish attack the elves pulled back in their final turn, terrified of another beat down.ThuggLyfe had avenged defeat and advanced to the semi-finals!

Final score: ThuggLyfe: 2 Masters of Ballcraft: 1