Situated on the grounds of the sprawling Flashfurt University, the Flashfurt Imperial stadium is one of the largest and perhaps most intimidating stadiums on the DLE circuit. One of the reasons is of course that it is home to the Flashfurt Universe, two times Superbowl champions, and even though they have seen better days they are still formidable.

On this dark autumn night, when our heroes in their crimson shirts are on their very first visit to Flashfurt, the stadium is bathed in soft golden gaslight, thanks to the ingenious dwarven engineers contracted to provide lighting. They came as underdogs, trailing Universe by 360k, but they sure have shown us that it sometimes mean much less than you would think. Aggressive on the offense, and stubborn and stalwart on the defense, our heroes battled it out for a draw, and even completely controlled the second half, scoring with only four Universe players left on the field. Hertha, you are down on the field right now, and have two of the players with you there, as I understand?

Hertha: “That’s correct”. She turns to a large, burly man with a full beard and friendly eyes, and a short, slim teenager with dirty blonde hair. “Gustavo”, she says to the burly man. “You entered DLE as a free agent after week 7, and scored your first casualty out there tonight. You also got the MVP! How does it feel to finally be in the big league?”

Gustavo: (speaking in his characteristic Tilean accent)”I love it. Playing in the big league was my goal, and I was very disappointed by not being put in one of the drafts, so when this free agent arrangement came, I signed up, and wonders over wonders, CCC got me on the final day of the free agency for this season. So I wanted to pay them back something for getting my career on track again. And thus, here I am!”

Hertha: “The Crimson Cascade is not exactly at the top of the league. Did that bother you at all?” The blonde teenager snorts and sends Hertha a baleful glance.

Gustavo: (laughs) “You know, they may not be at the top in points and scores, but my business is mayhem and destruction, and with the Crimson shirts at 4th place in casualties caused, I feel I am exactly where I belong, at the very top of the league! And keep in mind, only powerhouses like Classics, Patriots and Rangers are ahead of us in this category!”

Günther: “Why don’t you talk us through the situation were you caused your casualty? It was at the very end of the match, right?”

Gustavo: “Yes. It was. Just at the end. I think there were 10 crimson shirts on the field and only 6 universe players. We were all in a big cluster just outside of the universe goal line, and the Universe players tried as hard as they could to push us to score, so they could have time for a winning drive. Goode (CCC star blitzer) would not hear of it, though. He held the ball himself in one hand, and marshaled everyone around himself. The universe players were brave and determined, and did their best, but in the end woefully outgunned. I got my casualty when Goode ordered me to blitz Jared Smith, their grab lino. Goode supported me with one hand while the other one held the ball away, and down and off Smith went, badly hurt. Not much to it, actually. And Goode was amazing, by the way. 4 cas and 2 KO’s. And at the end there, he took down Jean-Baptiste when he blitzed Goode from behind. He must have heard Jean-Baptiste coming, cause he took a step back and rammed his spiked elbow pad into Jean-Baptiste’s guts. Just like that! And they had to lift poor Jean-Baptiste off the field and carry him away. I definitely have to learn how to do that!”

Günther: “Right! So what’s your future development path? I heard you are wanted by several of the other teams already?”

Gustavo: “I’m definitely staying for now, and I will enjoy every second of it. Nowhere else are you in close-up action like when you are a part of the Crimson Cascade! And Piling On is definitely the next goal for me. It’s such a useful skill!”

Hertha: Turns to the teenager, who does not seem to be able to stop chewing her gum. “And here is another of tonights heroes! Ann-Katrin, how is it to be the fouling star of the crimson shirts?”

Ann-Katrin: “Great! Except for that f*** busyboy of a ref. it’s the h*** third time we have that g***d son-of-a-b*** of a Halfling as ref. Apparently he enjoys our matches, and I swear, the g***d f*** has an eagle –eye when it comes to spotting foul. A b*** really, since I have worked so hard on camouflaging my g***d fouls. Got me tonight as well, just as I had come back in second half and KO’d b*** Maxie. Luckily, as he came towards me with that g***d smirk on his face and itching to ban me, Inga screamed bullshit from the sideline “Hi, Ref! Rule 34, paragraph 3.1. It’s not a foul if it is against an ogre and above the waistline.” He suddenly looked uncertain and t*** g***d let me go back to the reserves!”

Günther: “So, do you expect to become top fouler in the league this season, Ann-Katrin?”

Ann-Katrin: “S***. No. Not a chance. That b*** Dickson is way ahead. But s***, one has to wonder though, how many f***g times do you have to let a ref b***r you in order to be allowed to do 13 fouls in one f***g game? I’m just askin’!”

Inga: “Shut the f*** up and scoot, you foul-mouthed b***! Didn’t I tell you always to speak d***d nicely to the reporters?” Coach Inga comes up to the interview team. Lexer grins, and comes to a sloppy rest. “Yes, big Mama!”. She grins again and nods farewell to Hertha and Günther. “You know, I WAS talking quite nicely to you!”She slides off towards the rest of the players.

Inga (sighs) “the worst thing is, she’s speaking the truth about talking nicely! Normally, on the field, she swears like an unnaturally inventive sailor…”

Hertha: “Good to see you again, Inga! You must be satisfied with this match?”

Inga: “Indeed. I said at the start of the season that we might be able to sneak one point off the Universe. Tonight we have proved it. And we even owned the second half, against a team so much higher ranked!”

Hertha: “How did you do it?”

Inga: (grins) “When Goode has a day like this, he can do everything. I counted 2 KO’s and 4 cas, and then adding a TD just to rub it in. He’s on top of the killer blitzer list now, and has the most cas of any player this season. And Lexer had a good day too. She’s second in her category and really changed the tone of the second half with that excellent sliding foul into Radnitzer. A great player. And then when these two gets half the opponent team off the field, it’s easy to score. Even for CCC!”

Günther: “So you are on schedule for your 8 points this season?”

Inga: “Six so far is slightly ahead of schedule. And for the rest of the season, I think we have no chance against the Bruisers, Grizzlies and Avalanche, but the other teams; Vikings, Wolfskins, Buccaneers and Wreckers, are not quite what they used to be, in fact they are not even close to where they started this season. We should have a fair chance to get one point against two of these four. So yes, we are on course.”

Günther: “But you have lost Gudrødsdottir and Holzer, two of the three you said you needed to protect?”

Inga: (shrugs). “Yes. But Freija was an irresponsible little twerp who did not even have Lexer’s survival instincts, so with her it was just a question of time. Holzer, though, that was a badly executed plan. But then again, Grizzlies got only four cas that match but they were all career-ending perms or kills, and the apo could only manage to save one, which turned out to be Goode!”

Hertha: “Well, that’s all for tonight. But follow us on this channel for more fun after midseason, as CCC welcomes the Bruisers at home before they get on the road to Wolfenburg to meet the ‘Pelts. Join us for the fun!”

Brought to you by Hertha Wendlinger and Günther Schiele, Carroburg Tageszeitung.