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2012-01-31 00:25:35
18 votes, rating 5.2
18 votes, rating 5.2
They think it's all over... ... the OBBA Premiership, that is.
For the first time this season the scene opens up in the offices of Real Sociedead. SeraphimRed sits behind his large desk; the door opens and in walks his assistant.
Ass.: Sir! I’ve got some bad news, and some good news.
SeraphimRed: Just once, can’t we just have good news?
Ass.: Well, the good news is great!
SeraphimRed: And the bad news?
Ass.: Terrible!
SeraphimRed: sigh
Ass.: I’ve just been looking through the fumbbl quarterly stats
and it seem like coaches are leaving left right and centre. Games are down. Morale is down... in fact everything is down apart from the number of Chaos teams!
The Ass. passes SeraphimRed his iBall (TM) to look over the quarterly stats.
SeraphimRed: Wow.
Ass.: Bad isn’t it?
SeraphimRed: Yes. Bad-ass! Christer has only gone and improved the nuffling charting!
As..: Err... yeah, I think you’re missing the point.
SeraphimRed: And people say he doesn’t do anything useful!!!
Ass.: Well, he has been promising to renovate League for a long time...
SeraphimRed strokes the charts.
SeraphimRed.: Forget League! This is where we need improvements. Those sorry line graphs of old are no more! I only hope that whilst he’s on a roll that he revamps the CR algorithms.
Ass.: ...
SeraphimRed: And then. And then after he’s done that, I hope he doesn’t tell anyone how they work.
Ass.: No one?
SeraphimRed: No one. It’ll freak ‘em all out!
Ass.: But...
SeraphimRed puts his finger to his mouth.
SeraphimRed: Shhh....
Ass.: Right. OK. Well, I for one am worried. We’re losing some great coaches. Malmir left for instance... just this minute. Gone. Without a word...
SeraphimRed rolls his eyes.
Ass.: Well, he left a blog of course.
SeraphimRed: Did he thank Christer for all the hard work he put into the charting?
Ass.: Well, he thanked Christer of course.
SeraphimRed: Did he mention the charting?
Ass.: Not explicitly, no.
SeraphimRed: Then I have no time for people like that.
Ass.: Vicius left too, just the other day.
SeraphimRed: Never heard of him.
Ass.: He’s in... was in the OBBA sir.
SeraphimRed looks glazed over.
Ass.: He won coach of the season last season.
SeraphimRed.: Is he in the Premiership?
Ass.: No.
SeraphimRed: There you go then. Clearly not something I need to worry about. I don’t know why you’re threating. With the improvements Christer is doing around this place they’ll be new coaches. They may not like LRB5.7 CRP, they may not like CLAWBOMB, but I bet they like snazzy charting! And that’s the future of FUMBBL. Snazzy charts and stats no one understands.
Ass.: Right you are sir... Anyway, the good news.
SeraphimRed looks shocked!
SeraphimRed: The charting isn’t the good news!?
Ass.: Sir. Can we please move beyond the new charting?
SeraphimRed: I don’t know, can we?
Ass.: Sir. You, we, won the Premiership title for the third time in 13 seasons! Yip!!
SeraphimRed: Woot! ... ... Do I say woot?
Ass.: Not usually, sir. But you’ll be excused for it on this occasion I’m sure.
SeraphimRed: I really am awesome! And I just keep getting more awesome with each passing year.
Ass.: Yes you do sir!
SeraphimRed: Now. If my awesomeness could be charted over 13 seasons, I wonder how that might look. Get me Christer on the line!
Ass.: sigh...
Scene fades.
Ass.: Sir! I’ve got some bad news, and some good news.
SeraphimRed: Just once, can’t we just have good news?
Ass.: Well, the good news is great!
SeraphimRed: And the bad news?
Ass.: Terrible!
SeraphimRed: sigh
Ass.: I’ve just been looking through the fumbbl quarterly stats
and it seem like coaches are leaving left right and centre. Games are down. Morale is down... in fact everything is down apart from the number of Chaos teams!
The Ass. passes SeraphimRed his iBall (TM) to look over the quarterly stats.
SeraphimRed: Wow.
Ass.: Bad isn’t it?
SeraphimRed: Yes. Bad-ass! Christer has only gone and improved the nuffling charting!
As..: Err... yeah, I think you’re missing the point.
SeraphimRed: And people say he doesn’t do anything useful!!!
Ass.: Well, he has been promising to renovate League for a long time...
SeraphimRed strokes the charts.
SeraphimRed.: Forget League! This is where we need improvements. Those sorry line graphs of old are no more! I only hope that whilst he’s on a roll that he revamps the CR algorithms.
Ass.: ...
SeraphimRed: And then. And then after he’s done that, I hope he doesn’t tell anyone how they work.
Ass.: No one?
SeraphimRed: No one. It’ll freak ‘em all out!
Ass.: But...
SeraphimRed puts his finger to his mouth.
SeraphimRed: Shhh....
Ass.: Right. OK. Well, I for one am worried. We’re losing some great coaches. Malmir left for instance... just this minute. Gone. Without a word...
SeraphimRed rolls his eyes.
Ass.: Well, he left a blog of course.
SeraphimRed: Did he thank Christer for all the hard work he put into the charting?
Ass.: Well, he thanked Christer of course.
SeraphimRed: Did he mention the charting?
Ass.: Not explicitly, no.
SeraphimRed: Then I have no time for people like that.
Ass.: Vicius left too, just the other day.
SeraphimRed: Never heard of him.
Ass.: He’s in... was in the OBBA sir.
SeraphimRed looks glazed over.
Ass.: He won coach of the season last season.
SeraphimRed.: Is he in the Premiership?
Ass.: No.
SeraphimRed: There you go then. Clearly not something I need to worry about. I don’t know why you’re threating. With the improvements Christer is doing around this place they’ll be new coaches. They may not like LRB5.7 CRP, they may not like CLAWBOMB, but I bet they like snazzy charting! And that’s the future of FUMBBL. Snazzy charts and stats no one understands.
Ass.: Right you are sir... Anyway, the good news.
SeraphimRed looks shocked!
SeraphimRed: The charting isn’t the good news!?
Ass.: Sir. Can we please move beyond the new charting?
SeraphimRed: I don’t know, can we?
Ass.: Sir. You, we, won the Premiership title for the third time in 13 seasons! Yip!!
SeraphimRed: Woot! ... ... Do I say woot?
Ass.: Not usually, sir. But you’ll be excused for it on this occasion I’m sure.
SeraphimRed: I really am awesome! And I just keep getting more awesome with each passing year.
Ass.: Yes you do sir!
SeraphimRed: Now. If my awesomeness could be charted over 13 seasons, I wonder how that might look. Get me Christer on the line!
Ass.: sigh...
Scene fades.
Comments
Posted by Synn on 2012-01-31 01:45:39
I lol'ed.
__Synn
__Synn
Posted by Cavetroll on 2012-01-31 05:13:35
Me too. Can we chart lols across the FUMBBL community?
Posted by pythrr on 2012-01-31 09:24:12
bastige lucker undead!
well done Sera. Congrats.
well done Sera. Congrats.
Posted by pythrr on 2012-01-31 09:27:29
and ... so, 3 titles... joining the mighty Reavers and Pgoo's elfs. Hmm, that's 9/13 prem titles between only 3 team.... the rest of the slackers had better get working.
Posted by garyt1 on 2012-01-31 09:35:46
Games are up since start of 2011 and the new client and rules. 2010 was the decline so no need to be so negative. :o)
Posted by Gritter on 2012-01-31 09:44:42
I find it amusing you have such in depth conversation with you 'ass' Sera... though not surprising!
Congrats btw ;)
Congrats btw ;)
Posted by Hollaender on 2012-01-31 10:57:33
Garyt, games gettin more indeed, but we still have the level from 2004....
And yeah i lol´ed too ;). And grats Sera. Maybee i should join that league? :p
And yeah i lol´ed too ;). And grats Sera. Maybee i should join that league? :p
Posted by pythrr on 2012-01-31 11:18:05
um, gart. do you _really_ think Sera is being negative here....?
@irony...
@irony...
Posted by pythrr on 2012-01-31 11:19:04
Hollaender- we're always recruiting for reliable coaches. Especially ones with mummy-killing skills. :)
Posted by Royston on 2012-01-31 11:28:53
Congrats Sera. Not everything is over in the premiership though, still the little matter of the last relegation spot to play for - mine for the taking I believe.
Posted by Arktoris on 2012-01-31 15:51:08
all I see is a big white screen when i click on statistics...that can't be good.