FUMBBL :: Online Blood Bowl League

He moves in and I start talking to him. A nice chap from London who is over in Dallas working for a big company. Well, the first thing he does when unpacking is he mounts his Chelsea flag on the side of his house.

Well that got my blood pressure going. What in da hell man? Flying some stupid blue and white Chelsea flag in my hood, I say to myself?

Next day I take my Dallas Cowboy flag off the wall I have in my man cave. Mount it to a pole and fly the Cowboys Star with pride on the side of my house.

A few days later I meet him when he pulls in from work. We start talking sports and stuff. He admires my awe inspiring Cowboy Star flapping in the late afternoon breeze. He thinks that is grand, then proceeds to destroy American Football as a game only fit for hooligans, thugs and yanks. He compares the NFL to the majesty and royalty of the EPL.

Ok, between you and me...IT IS FREAKING ON!!!!!!!!

So, what flag do I need to strike to really get him worked up?

I thought about getting a FC Dallas flag, show my support for the local football lads but then a sinking feeling in my gut overcame me, FC Dallas is a bunch of chumps compared to Chelsea.

So, do I need to find a Arsenal flag? A liverpool flag? For grins and chuckles do I proudly display Crystal Palace?

Let me know.....I need to rub this in bad on this Brit.

Posted by Purplegoo on 2015-03-06 21:05:06

Fulham, I think. Or Spurs.

Posted by Purplegoo on 2015-03-06 21:08:49

(And if you're wound up by that, he's going to have fun with you. ;))

Posted by Cavetroll on 2015-03-06 21:09:28

This is awesome. I can't wait to hear how it escalates.

Posted by Cavetroll on 2015-03-06 21:09:55

The only way it could get better is if he pulled out some Blood Bowl miniatures next time you talk to him.

Posted by Harad on 2015-03-06 21:10:03

Millwall. Or a Russian flag if you want to poke the source of Chelsea's success.

Posted by Harad on 2015-03-06 21:10:32

Although given your location, the Russian flag may not be a good call in other ways :)

Posted by Hogshine on 2015-03-06 21:15:11

A US flag, and smugly ask him how England did in the World Cup...

Posted by grant85 on 2015-03-06 21:18:35

tottenham away!

Posted by Antithesisoftime on 2015-03-06 21:23:38

Seconding the US flag, and asking about the world cup
If that doesn't work, go with the Russian flag.

Incidentally, how you been handling all this snow the last 2 weeks?
Over in the Irving/Arlington/Grand Prairie area, we've looked every bit the winter wonderland.

Posted by PurpleChest on 2015-03-06 21:25:07

The problem here is that Chelsea is a team without history (unless you count a history of racist thug fans).

Probably their biggest local rivals are Fulham, but Fulham are terrible and dont have anything like Chelsea's cash.

The biggest london rival is Arsenal, but as Chelsea are going to win the EPL this year, and we are not, you may not even see him blink at an arsenal flag.

And then there is Manchester City, another team rich off of slave and oil money. Who won the EPL last year, but short on history, and not a traditional rival to anyone except Manchester United.

The best way to wind Chelsea fans up? point out they are lightweight fans attracted solely by Abramovitch's millions. If he claims he was a fan prior to that, then he, like they all were, was a racist skinhead thug.

But... most Chelsea fans are right wing racist rich city types. Desperately hoping cash IS king and wins them some respect and silverware, what makes you think he and America wont get on just fine?

Possibly the best way to wind him up would be a rainbow flag of tollerance, followed by a multicultural festival.

Posted by mister__joshua on 2015-03-06 21:33:52

I laughed at that. That might wind a few of the locals up though ;)

Posted by Beerox on 2015-03-06 21:34:22

Just fly an American flag, that should do it.

PS: Any sport that doesn't capitalize on the opposable thumb is stupid.

Posted by Verminardo on 2015-03-06 21:58:43

Haha yeah fly the rainbow flag in Texas, that was subtle PC, well done! ;-D

Posted by Antithesisoftime on 2015-03-06 22:08:24

"Possibly the best way to wind him up would be a rainbow flag of tolerance, followed by a multicultural festival."

Actually, it's not that far off. Put together a composite of the 6 flags Texas has flown, and it'd be the Rainbow Flag of Texas
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Six_Flags_over_Texas.jpg

Posted by koadah on 2015-03-06 22:11:12

No one likes us,
No one likes us,
No one likes us,
We don't care!

http://www.mfcshop.co.uk/product/2623/Millwall_South_London_Banner

http://www.mfcshop.co.uk/product/3134/Millwall_Crest_Flag_5_x_3_ft

http://www.mfcshop.co.uk/product/3185/Millwall_Crest_No_ONe_likes_Us_Scarf

That is not exactly taking the high ground though. :twisted:

Posted by koadah on 2015-03-06 22:21:24

Casually drop into the conversation "So, how long have you been a Chelsea fan?"

If he says any time after 1995 say "Ah. So where were you when you were sh*t?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQc7pDJgELM

Posted by vaclav on 2015-03-06 22:50:18

Soviet Union flag

Posted by Throweck on 2015-03-06 23:02:34

I'd have gone for a Millwall flag. Or to be a little more cryptic/subtle just fly a flag with the word 'Bushwhackers' on it. This is the name of Millwall's firm. If he is a real Chelsea fan this would really twist his titties.

Posted by Dunenzed on 2015-03-06 23:21:09

Nah man, you need to point out that football is still a game full of biting, shirt pulling and diving. The really classy English game is of course cricket. Then ask about the cricket world cup that's on at the moment.

Posted by NerdBird on 2015-03-06 23:24:31

I hate to say it because I can NOT stand them, but the New York Yankees.....

Posted by Nextflux on 2015-03-06 23:25:56

haha! keep us updated on your war :D

Posted by Nextflux on 2015-03-06 23:29:14

Justin Beiber is a chelsea fan

Posted by Nightbird on 2015-03-06 23:56:07

NEIGHBOR WAR!!!
This is possibly the greatest blog EVER!
Please, please (and I know you will because you are painstate) keep us updated.

Posted by albinv on 2015-03-07 00:26:06

lol

Posted by pythrr on 2015-03-07 01:06:00

blog needs pics!~

Posted by DeZigma on 2015-03-07 01:12:44

Hey pythrr take this one:

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQSR-QLGQu91fbUjGto6dwEz9Zy0oi_pwcPTy4p4BznOdNF7FkPiQ

Posted by pythrr on 2015-03-07 02:31:07

i will not click on your euro filths

Posted by keggiemckill on 2015-03-07 03:09:51

Hang the Texas flag. Tell him that your country wasn't the ones that sent his country sailing away with their tails between their legs! Then explain to him those were Americans and you are a Texan! Just kidding. XD

Maybe hang a Francais flag. Those two country's have been waring for ions. OR... You could hang the same flag as he, but hang it upside down. That still pisses us Canadians off.

Posted by licker on 2015-03-07 03:46:40

Maybe just laugh and pat him on the shoulder whenever he mentions sissykick. You know, like you do when your retarded cousin makes a mess in his pants.

I mean it's not a real sport, and all of it's fans are clearly homosexuals.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by Arktoris on 2015-03-07 07:43:35

a US flag...

one with 15 stars, 15 stripes

Posted by Arktoris on 2015-03-07 07:46:22

oh and when you raise it up and take it down at night...sing loudly the song "My country tis of thee"

Posted by Jopotzuki on 2015-03-07 09:25:23

Be the better man and ignore him.

Posted by DrPoods on 2015-03-07 09:37:41

CHARLTON!!

Posted by JanMattys on 2015-03-07 09:57:01

why, a Buccaneers flag, my dear.

Do you own one, right?

Posted by spinball on 2015-03-07 10:40:08

Compliment him on his equally thuggish team, and talk about how your favorite TV show is "Sons of Liberty" on the history channel.

Coolly give him some earl gray tea and a tooth brush. Tell him "you know" how bad things are over the pond.

All because his ignorance and the stereotypes he believes about the sport you love as something perpetrated by thugs and such.

Posted by The_Great_Gobbo on 2015-03-07 11:44:12

Yew need a Green Tide flag, koz itz offensive ter everybody.

I wud win dis war by flyin a flag wiv a picky of a cow on it in rainbow kolors koz az Full Metal Jacket tawt uz, only steers an kweers kum frum texas!

Posted by Wizfall on 2015-03-07 12:14:45

A Russian flag would be huge.
He would understand the message loud and clear :)
Not sure about your other neighbors though hehe.
Very entertaining blog !

Posted by Balle2000 on 2015-03-07 14:52:49

Yeah. Take down his Chelsea flag and replace it with a Russian flag.

Posted by Merrick18818 on 2015-03-07 15:35:45

You already have the upper hand by not being a Chelsea fan. There's nothing more you need to do.

Posted by Wotfudboy on 2015-03-07 16:06:44

And we wonder why the world is in such a sorry state...

Posted by PaddyMick on 2015-03-07 17:30:20

I have to disagree with PurpleChest here. Only a tiny minority of chelsea fans are racist, and I wouldn't call them fans.

Posted by mrt1212 on 2015-03-07 17:58:53

Fly a Chelsea flag and go on and on and on about how new fans are the reason theyre winning. Ill donate 100 bucks if you get a black eye or he has a stroke.

Posted by hissa-lives on 2015-03-07 18:25:00

Agree with DrPoods, a charlton flag is the only acceptable option! Red army!

Posted by fidius on 2015-03-07 23:22:15

Hang a flag with Chelsea Clinton's mug on it.

Posted by the_Sage on 2015-03-09 11:54:24

This sounds like fun! A burning British flag should do the trick. =P


(bad)	(good)